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'On Choosing a Wife', by St John Chrysostom


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#21 Clare

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Posted 13 July 2006 - 03:28 PM

Andonis, I agree with you. Sometimes I think that I am too picky or that I my standards are way too high. Especially in this era, it is very difficult to find classy, quality women. No one has a problem with sordid moral behavior. No one wants to crucify their flesh, no one wants to submit to God. It is very frustrating.

How strange

#22 M.C. Steenberg

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Posted 16 July 2006 - 06:36 PM

From earlier in this thread:

Sometimes I think that I am too picky or that I my standards are way too high. Especially in this era, it is very difficult to find classy, quality women. No one has a problem with sordid moral behavior. No one wants to crucify their flesh, no one wants to submit to God. It is very frustrating.


How strange


Perhaps, yes! I agree that this is a strange assessment, if it's focussed on the female gender. But if it's aimed at both male and female equally, then it seems less strange than sad truth.

So the observation becomes personal injunction.

No one has a problem with sordid moral behavior.
No one wants to crucify their flesh,
no one wants to submit to God.


must become:

I do not have a problem with sordid moral behavior.
I do not want to crucify my flesh,
I do not want to submit to God.


And then there is the grounds for ascetical work and change.

INXC, Matthew

#23 Clare

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Posted 24 July 2006 - 11:03 AM

I was being sarcastic.

If you are getting frustrated that no women want to crucify their flesh then give up your search for a wife right now. You have no hope.

We were chuckling about this thread at camp this week.
I think some more women should join in.

I'm going to kick off with a thought on men from a woman's perspective:

Impeccable manners are very attractive.

#24 Theodora

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Posted 07 May 2010 - 12:32 AM

Sinjin,

Despite the sexual revolution, there are still many people who remain virginal prior to marriage,many of them by choice. And there is a growing emphasis on abstinance among many young Christians who see the damage that sex is doing to their friends. It is not as difficult as one might think. It's only when one is totally alone and trying to refrain on the basis of will power alone when it becomes difficult. By the way, both of my daughters have made this choice.


Good point. I was baptised Orthodox when I was very young but I never really grew up in what I would consider a very Orthodox family. See, my mom is but my dad isn't, and I made the choice to remain a virgin until marriage from very young. I was repulsed at the idea of not being one since young and this remained with me throughout high school and until now (I am 20). It can get hard. There is no question. And I don't meet many Orthodox men, but you have to have trust in God. I am determined to remain faithful to my spouse till marriage and if you are determined you can. The thing is, if I give that away, I have no idea how I can stay faithful within a marriage. And it seems like a nightmare to think of past 'lovers.' I just don't see myself wanting to work at it, if I am not faithful from now.

#25 Theodora

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Posted 25 May 2010 - 05:05 AM

Sinjin, Look up Father Josiah Trenham's talks on marriage on orthodoxinfo.com. Actually, here they are for you if you follow this link. http://www.orthodoxi...olycross06.aspx I realise I'm writing to you a bit late but if you are still a member, I hope you get this. God Bless




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