I could not answer your questions very well because I am not a theologian. And I am not a proponent of women priests or gay marriage. I am obedient to the Church...and that is good enough for me.
This, I think is the point I was trying to address. Obedience to the Church does not preclude, but, rather, invites or even requires theological engagement of these cultural questions as an opportunity to proclaim the Gospel. Few of us are theologians, myself included. However, engagement of the actual circumstances of our culture and time is part of what we are called to: to proclaim Christ and His Kingdom to those who are not in the Church and invite them to Christ.
I am concerned, perhaps wrongly, that to rely only on my or your obedience to the Church runs the risk of edging into a kind of solipsistic and perhaps too comfortable notion of salvation. Perhaps this is part of a fundamentalist impulse? This is all very tricky business that I think we need to encourage one another with.