Jump to content


Photo
- - - - -

Humility during divorce


  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

#1 Dan L.

Dan L.

    Regular Poster

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 35 posts

Posted 01 November 2012 - 12:25 PM

I recently spoke with a friend of mine who is non-Orthodox. His wife left him and took their children. He has made repeated efforts to try to reconcile with her, all of which have been denied. They do have a separation agreement, but she has not followed any of the agreement. He still gets to see his children a few hours per week, but when he does, they often tell him things like: "Mommy says your not our Daddy anymore". He is very upset about how his children are being turned against him. He asked me if it is possible to continue to demonstrate humility and love for his estranged wife, and at the same time pursue some legal remedy to get a more stable situation for his children. I honestly have no idea what to tell him. I know we are to suffer all wrongs patiently, but what about when those wrongs are also being incurred on your children? It is acceptable to fight a legal battle regarding custody if you feel it is best for your kids or is it best to just suffer all wrongs and hope that your wife will return?

#2 Dan L.

Dan L.

    Regular Poster

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 35 posts

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:02 PM

I hesitate to repost, but does anyone have any wisdom to offer on this subject?

#3 Father David Moser

Father David Moser

    Moderator

  • Moderators
  • 3,581 posts
  • Orthodox Christian Member
  • Verified Cleric

Posted 06 November 2012 - 04:24 PM

This is, actually, a pastoral issue. Not knowing your friend or the complete picture of his situation, its hard to give advice. Some general guidelines:

1. Let the (ex) wife go. She obviously does not want to reconcile.
2. No matter what she says to the children, take care not to demonize their mother (or her family) to them.
3. Children are smart - they see the way the relationship works. Don't underestimate their understanding of the situation. They know who their parents are, no matter what one or the other says.
4. Insist on compliance with the legal agreement - but not "in person" rather it should be done through the lawyers.
5. Love your children - if nothing else, they will remember that.

Fr David

#4 Dan L.

Dan L.

    Regular Poster

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 35 posts

Posted 06 November 2012 - 07:13 PM

Thank you Father. He has spoken to his Baptist pastor, but unfortunately, his pastor seems to be at a loss at how to respond. I have recommended he seek an Orthodox priest in his area (he doesn't live close to me), but he hasn't done that yet.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users