I have difficulty to decide what is the best life to live according to the faith.
I need your opinion and suggestions.
I constantly jump between "out of this world" and "inside of this world".
Reading the Fathers, I really can find a silent place in my heart and in my mind when thinking about the world. Than I am "outside" of the world, I find a calm silence in the prayer, and enter a sweet stillness.
To fight against evil, the invisible one inside of my mind, is a constant hard work.
But sometimes I need to fight the outside evils. I really get sad thinking about worldly things, like hunger, wars, stupidness of media, politicians, banksters and mafia.... I really get upset when thinking about the evil work in the world. Sometimes I would go out and DO SOMETHING, to SHOUT about the these things, I would go and PROTEST, ....
..and than I realize how complex the world is, how difficult to win being alone.
And than again I try to go "outside" of the world, to find silence and peace.
But since I have family I again have desire to make the world better, and again to do something, to be Christ's warrior....
But how, but what...?
It looks so complex.
Sometimes I feel that these two paths are incompatible with each other.