Marriage blessing

[Norman]

Dear Brethren Who Were Received into the Church as a Couple in a Married Though Not-Married-in-the-Orthodox-Church State,

Have the two of you been joined in the Mystery of Marriage in your parish or have you had your "marriage blessed?"

If you haven't been joined within the Church or have had your marriage blessed, are you thinking about it or considering it?

Please share your experiences because we are going to ask our Priest about it soon.

Thanks.

In Christ,
Norman

[Terry]

ohhh yesss, definitely, my husband and I only have a civil marriage, and that was one year ago, but we will have marriage ceramony next year in 2007 and thats a promise, I dont watn to fornicate anymore

[Herman Blaydoe]

Our marriage was blessed when I became Orthodox (chrismated), as did three other couples at the same time. It was a long day about 31 years ago.

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Our marriage was blessed when I became Orthodox (chrismated), as did three other couples at the same time. It was a long day about 31 years ago.

Sorry I'm really showing my ignorance here- but on this thread I've noticed a few references to a 'blessed marriage'. I take it this means some sort of blessing for a marriage which took place outside the Church? Do you remember how this was done- was part of the marriage service used?

Forgive me again for these questions but I had not heard of this before.

Perhaps in our church (rocor) this is done at times or maybe it varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction- Fr David probably knows this .

For myself I always have done the full marriage service regardless of whether the couple had a civil or other-church marriage or not. Maybe this was a mistake on my part though. Again maybe Fr David knows more about this.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Father David Moser]

Perhaps in our church (rocor) this is done at times or maybe it varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction- Fr David probably knows this .

I'm guessing that this refers to the practice of celebrating the crowning (venchania) for couples who are already married and come into the Church together. Why not ask our assembled wisdom in Nov. - It would be a good question and go with Fr Yaro's presentation.

Fr David

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

I'm guessing that this refers to the practice of celebrating the crowning (venchania) for couples who are already married and come into the Church together. Why not ask our assembled wisdom in Nov. - It would be a good question and go with Fr Yaro's presentation.

Fr David

Good idea...I'll try to keep it in mind.

But still I'd appreciate it if others who have gone through this could clarify what this ceremony was. If it's a crowning that would seem to make sense as it would then (at least in my own mind) be considered sacramental.

But then why not just call it a marriage rather than a 'blessed marriage'? Could there be a marriage in the Church that isn't sacramental?

Man of many questions...

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Herman Blaydoe]

But then why not just call it a marriage rather than a 'blessed marriage'? Could there be a marriage in the Church that isn't sacramental?


Convention? I don't know, other than to differentiate what was, in fact, simply a crowning from a full marriage ceremony.

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Convention? I don't know, other than to differentiate what was, in fact, simply a crowning from a full marriage ceremony.

Do you mean the full Crowning service was done? Thanks.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Herman Blaydoe]

Do you mean the full Crowning service was done? Thanks.
To be honest, I don't quite remember. For me it was 31 years ago. I do remember crowns being involved but there was a lot going on that day!

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

To be honest, I don't quite remember. For me it was 31 years ago. I do remember crowns being involved but there was a lot going on that day!

That's alright. My basic question relates to whether this 'blessed marriage' would considered to be a sacrament or not.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Elizabeth Riggs]

Please forgive me if this post offends anyone.

When my husband and I originally were received into the Orthodox Church, we were not permitted to have a Marriage ceremony of any kind, although we specifically requested, no, we begged for it. Our bishop said that our Chrismation fulfilled all that was lacking - even though our marriage had been a civil ceremony, and we truly desired the full blessing of the Church on it. We were obedient to our bishop for many years.

Nearly 20 years later, our new Bishop heard of our distress and permitted us to have our marriage Crowned. I will say that this has made a distinct difference in our (already stable and loving) marriage in qualitative ways that I can't quite describe.

As I understand it from our bishop, a Crowning was certainly appropriate in this situation.

This is an example of a bishop "rightly dividing the Word of the Truth" differently from another bishop - according to his knowledge of the needs of the flock at a particular time.

With Love in Christ,
Elizabeth

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Please forgive me if this post offends anyone.

When my husband and I originally were received into the Orthodox Church, we were not permitted to have a Marriage ceremony of any kind, although we specifically requested, no, we begged for it. Our bishop said that our Chrismation fulfilled all that was lacking - even though our marriage had been a civil ceremony, and we truly desired the full blessing of the Church on it. We were obedient to our bishop for many years.

Nearly 20 years later, our new Bishop heard of our distress and permitted us to have our marriage Crowned. I will say that this has made a distinct difference in our (already stable and loving) marriage in qualitative ways that I can't quite describe.

As I understand it from our bishop, a Crowning was certainly appropriate in this situation.

This is an example of a bishop "rightly dividing the Word of the Truth" differently from another bishop - according to his knowledge of the needs of the flock at a particular time.

With Love in Christ,
Elizabeth

Thanks for posting this Elizabeth. It helps clear up some of the questions I've had about 'blessed marriages'. That in fact they are a Crowning. Which is a sacrament.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Sunny]

Can someone tell me when the crowning part of the marriage ceremony was added? Do all jurisdictions do this crowning? And someone mentioned that the "crowning" part made it sacramental. I would think it would be the location (in the church) and the officiator and the words of the ceremony that make it sacramental, not putting those silly crowns on the bride and grooms heads. I know what they're supposed to represent, but the idea that THAT makes it sacramental sounds absurd.
Sunny

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Can someone tell me when the crowning part of the marriage ceremony was added? Do all jurisdictions do this crowning? And someone mentioned that the "crowning" part made it sacramental. I would think it would be the location (in the church) and the officiator and the words of the ceremony that make it sacramental, not putting those silly crowns on the bride and grooms heads. I know what they're supposed to represent, but the idea that THAT makes it sacramental sounds absurd.
Sunny

I don't know when crowning became part of the service but it is written into the service itself. So no matter how the crowning is done (there are basic differences between the Russian & Byzantine traditions) it is always done. In the Slavonic books the service itself is even actually called Crowning.

Of course it is also correct to understand that it is not the crowning alone which makes this service a sacrament of the Church. Rather it is the whole service and proper participation of those involved which makes this sacramental.

Part of the confusion though may come from the fact that many in English call this whole service Crowning.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Fr. Stephen Supica]

In the Slavonic books the service itself is even actually called Crowning.

Also true in the modern Greek books.
In the Mikron Evhologion (i.e., Trebnik) published by Apostoliki Diakonia of the Church of Greece, the latter part of the service (that is, after the betrothal) beginning with the Psalm verses and "Blessed is the Kingdom..." is titled "Service of Crowning or Marriage" (Akolouthia tou Stefanomatos etoi tou Gamou).

[Olga]

And, in fact, in vernacular Greek, the term stephanoma (crowning)and its grammatical declensions, are easily understood by Greeks to refer to marriage. There is even a word astephanotos/astephanoti (he/she who is without a crown) which means "not properly married". This word is often used derisively to refer to people who co-habit, but are not married.

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

And, in fact, in vernacular Greek, the term stephanoma (crowning)and its grammatical declensions, are easily understood by Greeks to refer to marriage. There is even a word astephanotos/astephanoti (he/she who is without a crown) which means "not properly married". This word is often used derisively to refer to people who co-habit, but are not married.

'Uncrowned' is actually a very good way of putting it. ie living together but without the grace of martyrdom bestowed by the sacrament of marriage.

Perhaps many of our brother Greek priests have given homilies playing on the words stephanotos/stephanoti & astephanotos/astephanoti/ ?

In Christ- Fr Raphael