Taking a friend along to Church

[Daniel Jeandet]

A friend of mine asked me if he could come to Church with me on Sunday. I said that would be good. He is not Orthodox or any type of Christian, and I wanted some advice on things like: can he take the blessing and prosphera after the liturgy? Can he light candles? Can he kiss the ikons?

These might sound like silly questions, but I dont want to do the wrong thing and I dont know much about the Church rules and stuff.

If anyone can share any knowledge or relate similar experiences I would be grateful because I want this to be a positive experience for my friend, who is sometimes quite nervous and shy, and might get scared off if he gets in trouble or something.

Thanks.

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Dear Daniel,

Different jurisdictions and parishes have different rules about receiving antidoron and going up to kiss the Cross after the Liturgy.(I assume you meant antidoron & not the prosphora- the prosphora is the loaf parishioners send to the altar; antidoron is the blessed bread remaining from the Proskimedia which is distributed at the end of Liturgy after we kiss the Cross) Probably it would be very good if you found out your parish rule about these things from your priest or a suitable person first. Being able to receive antidoron or kiss the Cross can be ways that help a newcomer feel welcome; but on the other hand if this particular parish does not allow this then your friend might be quite hurt if they come up to kiss the Cross or receive antidoron unknowingly. As for lighting candles and kissing icons I have never heard of this not being permitted, but if I may offer my advice Daniel- if your friend has never been exposed to these things before he may feel a bit intimidated; simply say what these things are with a very simple explanation leaving any participation completely up to him. First time visitors often find their first visit to an Orthodox church so overwhelming that it is enough simply to allow them to freely witness what is going on. Last but not least one of the most important things will be your and the other parishioner's kindness towards your friend.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Daniel Jeandet]

Thankyou very much Father, that was very helpful.

I will take your advice and ask the priest what the custom is at my Church, then just leave my friend to participate as far as he is comfortable.

[Fr Averky]

Dear Daniel,

Fr.*Raphael's advice is very good. I would just like to add that if your friend is not accustomed to Orthodox practises, the first time or two he goes with you, allow him to observe the beauty of the Liturgy, and if he desires to kiss ivons or light candles, that would be fine, but I know that the first time I attended Divine Liturgy at a Greek Orthordox Church, I went up to the balcony and took in the beauty of the service. A person attending Orthodox services for the first time can find them a little exotic and perhaps, even a little intimidating.

As to antidor, strictly speaking, it should not be taken by non-Orthodox because it is "in place of the gifts," that is to say, for those Orthodox Christians who did not receive communion that liturgy. Also, if one intends to take antidor, he should have fasted beforehand.

In Christ,

Fr. A.

[Matthew Panchisin]

Dear Daniel,

I'm very glad to hear that you're bringing a friend to Church. It compels me to think of the many non-Orthodox people I have known in my life that I never asked to come to Church with me and I thank you for bringing that to my attention.

I found some information on candles a while back that I thought I would share with you in case your friend might ask anything about the lighting of candles.

From the writings of Bishop Nicholas of Ochrid (Velimirovich)

First * because our faith is light. Christ said: "I am the light of the world" (John 8:12). The light of the lampada reminds us of that light by which Christ illumines our souls.

Second * in order to remind us of the radiant character of the saint before whose icon we light the lampada, for saints are called sons of light (John 12:36, Luke 16:8).

Third * in order to serve as a reproach to us for our dark deeds, for our evil thoughts and desires, and in order to call us to the path of evangelical light; and so that we would more zealously try to fulfill the commandments of the Saviour: "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works" (Matthew 5:16).

Fourth * so that the lampada would be our small sacrifice to God, Who gave Himself completely as a sacrifice for us, and as a small sign of our great gratitude and radiant love for Him from Whom we ask in prayer for life, and health, and salvation and everything that only boundless heavenly love can bestow.

Fifth * so that terror would strike the evil powers who sometimes assault us even at the time of prayer and lead away our thoughts from the Creator. The evil powers love the darkness and tremble at every light, especially at that which belongs to God and to those who please Him.

Sixth * so that this light would rouse us to selflessness. Just as the oil and wick burn in the lampada, submissive to our will, so let our souls also burn with the flame of love in all our sufferings, always being submissive to God's will.

Seventh * in order to teach us that just as the lampada cannot be lit without our hand, so too, our heart, our inward lampada, cannot be lit without the holy fire of God's grace, even if it were to be filled with all the virtues. All these virtues of ours are, after all, like combustible material, but the fire which ignites them proceeds from God.

Eighth * in order to remind us that before anything else the Creator of the world created light, and after that everything else in order: "And God said, Let there be light: and there was light" (Genesis 1:3). And it must be so also at the beginning of our spiritual life, so that before anything else the light of Christ's truth would shine within us. From this light of Christ's truth subsequently every good is created, springs up and grows in us.

May the Light of Christ illumine you as well!



Candles

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Candles appeared in all Orthodox churches in the first centuries of our era. Eusebius of Caesaria records that during the paschal vigil such a quantity of candles were lit by the faithful that the night itself became as day. There were wax candles the sizes of which made them look like actual pillars. In answer to the accusations of the schismatic Vigilantius, who berated the Orthodox for lighting candles in their churches during daylight also, St. Jerome (342-420) says "in all Eastern churches candles are lit during the reading of the Gospel not only so as to shed light and dispel the gloom but also to proclaim one's joy."

Over the centuries, the Orthodox candle has burnt gently and humbly and is now, as it was then, imbued with profound meaning, inalienable from our Orthodox divine services and Orthodox piety. Apart from the fact that the small sacrifice, the mite given by each Christian for the candle he lights, benefits the Church in real terms, by lighting a candle, each Christian enters into closer contact with the church and the service, participating in it more actively and invisibly warming his soul by the visible light of the candle. We must understand that man's immortal soul dwells in man's mortal body.

The immortal soul cannot be indifferent to pious deeds committed by the body which is its home. AS the body bows, so does the soul bow with it and grows obedient. We are human; we need to see, to feel, to smell and to hear. And in the church, candles burn with the divine light; the ringing of bells sanctifies the air; incense reminds us of the fragrance of prayers; and from each icon the Saviour Himself, the Mother of God and all the saints mysteriously look at us and we look at Their holy images as two worlds come face to face: the dwellers of the Kingdom of God and we, the sinners.

Pious Orthodox people will preserve throughout the year the candles they light during the readings of the Passion Gospels on Holy Thursday. They make a sign of the cross with these candles over the doors to their homes. They light them during difficult moments of their lives. On Easter night, the candles bor., by the faithful transform their faces into living icons on which plays the light of God's grace ...

But the candle has yet another profound meaning. The burning candle represents the entire life of the faithful, from birth to death. It stands for the inner flame of love for and devotion to God. A Christian should burn like a candle before God, and his whole being should gradually be consumed by this divine flame thus marking the end of his earthly life.

Metropolitan Vitaly

Parish Life

May, 1988


P.S. Light a candle for your friend.


In Christ,

Matthew Panchisin

[Donald Wescott]

Daniel
Since this is you friends first vist, you may want to direct him to Khouria Frederica Mathhews Greene web page to the essy on "First Visit to an Orthodox Church-12 Things I wish I'd Known:
http://www.frederica.com/
His unworthy servant,
Donald Eusebios

[Daniel Jeandet]

Thanks everybody http://www.monachos.net/mb/clipart/happy.gif My post was too short, so thanks again and please forgive me all the stupid things I have written, or times when i judged or got angry or concieted or whatever Ive done, I cant even remember all the stupid and sinful things Ive done. Thanks.

[Trudy Ellmore]

To all Hieromonks, Priests, the Moderator, and Monachos laity and all others:

Brothers and sisters in Christ, please forgive me for all ways I have offended you, for all words written imprudently, spoken offensively, whatever and all things done knowingly and unknowingly in this past year.

Pray for me, a sinner.

May God grant all a blessed Great Lent.

~Trudy~

P.S. Matthew, thank you for the post regarding candles. It has been most helpful to me in the unworthy prayers I pray.

[Fr Averky]

Beleoved Friends,

I add my poor words to those of Daniel and Trudy. Prostrating myself in spirit before all of you, I humbly beg forgiveness for my sinfulness; being impatient, judging, being unkind, and not being loving. At the same time I thank all of you for the loving patience you all have shown me. May God grant us a spiritually beneficial and peaceful Great Lent, bringing us to the Bright Pascha of the Lord.

A special "forgive me" to you, Annick T.

With love in Christ,

hieromonk Averky