Mixed marriage

[Trudy Ellmore]

Dear All:

I am new to this discussion board, so hope I'm doing this right. I would be interested to learn the thoughts of some of you regarding a marriage where one partner converts to Orthodoxy and one remains Protestant. Are there those here who are living in such a situation? And if so...how's it going [if I may ask :-)].

I'm struggling with the whole idea of being "unequally yoked." Or am I understanding the term incorrectly? Especially as regards not being permitted to receive communion in a Prot church once converted.

[FYI, the children are grown (ages 18 & 23) so that is not an issue.]

Thanks for the insight, Trudy

[Richard Leigh]

Dear Trudy,

The term "unequally yoked" refers to the Christian to the unChristian. If you are Orthodox, you don't want to take communion in a Protestant church because at the very least your churches aren't "in communion" i.e., have "communion breaking" difference with regard to what the wholeness of the truth is. We will pray and let God mend these fences however He may, but until He does, you want to participate in the Lord's body and blood where you know he is truly present to you in the gifts. This itself is not believed nor taught in most Protestant churches, but even in those in which it is, there is not sufficient "Orthodoxy" if I may, about them (us, I am among "them") for there to be communion that is not dangerous to the health of members of the body.

I have no experience with mixed marriages of your sort though.

Richard

[Xenia]

Hello Trudy,

I converted to Holy Orthodoxy last winter. My husband did not. He and the kids continue at our old Evangelical church. My husband is very sympathetic to my conversion. He attended my chrismation and attends special events at my church. The folks at my church think my husband is one fine man and they are correct! I think one day, once the youngest kids have left home, he will join me for good.

We have five children, and only one is upset with my conversion. She is pretty vocal about her disapproval. I can't fault her because she is only saying the things I taught her to say when I was a Protestant. She does make it hard, though. My older daughter is in the process of converting, so no worries there.

I have a pretty compliant family. Except for younger daughter, everyone seems content to let me do my own thing. Actually, I wish they had stronger opinions. They seem rather lukewarm at times.

I don't see myself as being unequally yoked, and even if I did, what can I do? All I can do is be the best Christian and the best wife and mother I can be, with God's help. That's my job.

Your sister,
Xenia

[Trudy Ellmore]

Dear Richard and Xenia:

Thank you for your posts. They are most helpful.

Xenia, you give me much hope. It is good your husband was sympathetic to your conversion, although this is curious due to the fact that he did not convert at the same time.

My husband supports my spiritual journey but does not see how we could live with two such different traditions. And the fact that we would not worship regularly together on a Sunday. This has been a common thread in our marriage.

Thank you again,
Trudy

[Pavlos]

Trudy,

I converted to Holy Orthodoxy almost a year ago. My wife did not convert and to futher spice up the mixture, her father and brother are both Missouri Synod Lutheran ministers.

I think the two single most important things are to be honest and open with your spouse and family and to live an Orthodox life at all times.

They will have many questions but they will profit most by watching you live your life as an Orthodox chrisitan, keep to your prayer rule, keep the fasts, attend church and be loving in all things.

For me, my wife is being drawn to Orthodoxy ever so slowly simply by observing the positive changes Christ has wrought in me. Interestingly enough, her father has been a stalwart and enthusiastic supporter of my conversion to Orthodoxy all along. He has even attend Divine Liturgy with me a few times.

I remain hopeful that Christ will show my wife into the true Church but I try very hard to simply live my life with love and understanding and pray hard for her change of heart.

Pavlos