Excessive worry

[R.J.G.]

Hello, all.

I was wondering if anyone could offer some helpful commentary on a problem which I've been experiencing on and off for years. Sometimes I imagine that something bad has happened or will happen. I come up with these long, far-fetched schemes of how something bad could have happened, even though there is no evidence that such a thing did happen (or I take some small incident or idea and twisted it around).

[Lawrence]

Always expect sudden changes

Take courage! When the warmth of the spirit grows weak we should strive in every way to restore it, cleaving to the Lord with fear and trembling. Everything comes from Him. Despondency, boredom, heaviness of spirit and body may occasionally oppress us and remain for a long time. You should not lose heart, but should stand firm, zealously working according to the rules you have undertaken. And do not expect the soul to be freed quickly form its attraction towards the wrong state; do not expect it always to preserve an equal warmth and sweetness. This never happens. On the contrary, always expect sudden changes. When dullness and heaviness come, realize that this is you, the true you, as you are; as to spiritual sweetness, accept it as an undeserved bonus.

THEOPHAN THE RECLUSE
The Art of Prayer pp. 260-1

[Daniel Jeandet]

I find that when I get too negative, or my thoughts become complicated and scary, spiritual reading and stillness really help. By that I mean spending a few hours a day on my own in a quiet place and just reading the Gospel or fathers and getting up every few minutes to pray. Also, lots of short prayers through the day seem to help alot with thoughts.

When thoughts get out of control, especially when they are compounded by negative feelings, we have to accept that we are giving them this life of thier own becasue we are not the master our own inner world. I struggled very much with this problem, and I was very depressed with many evil and hopeless thoughts. God helped me out of this nightmare of my own making by teaching me how to pray a little and watching my thoughts come and go, seeing that they do not often reflect reality and are more often suggested by our enemy to steal all our strength and attention away from our state and away from God. In fact if I had not become so depressed and enslaved to my evil thinking, I would have just stayed on drugs and never regained my faith in Christ, but I think he allowed me to suffer this si I could learn from him.

I really beneffited from a book about the life and teachings of Elder paisios of Mount Athos, in which he talks alot about thoughts and negative thinking especially. Also the book quoted above, the art of prayer, by St Theophan is very good, the best thing to read if you want to pray more and be free from the tyranny of thinking and feeling whatever comes along. I dont want to sound like a teacher cos Im not, and I still struggle with many thoughts and feelings every day that shame me and take my mind from God all the time, what I have now is a way to deal with it and even turn it into something good. I really identify with what you have described and I want to tell you how this is something that is able to be understood and endured with the grace that comes from prayer and reading. I can sympathise with you and I know how bad this can be, I think alot of people have this problem and they dont realise that God allows this sort of thing so that we turn to Him and learn to pray and remember Him always, as much as we are able.

Courage! Christ said many times in the Gospels - "dont be afraid, just believe!" When Peter was walking on the water, he got scared by the wind and started to sink. Like our negative and evil thoughts, the wind made him scared and he lost his stability even though he was master over the water as Jesus willed. So a small thing like a thought can take our attention and become stronger than anything even though Jesus gives us the power to follow him anywhere. If Peter had kept his eyes on Jesus and not been distracted, a little wind would not have shaken him.

By God's grace what I have said may help you.

[Melissa]

Dear RJG-

Daniel has given you a true account of the very best way to deal with the kinds of thoughts and worries you describe. I would add one more piece - if you do as he says (and talk to your priest or trusted spiritual father) for a period of time, and notice relief, that's a gift from our Lord that probably indicates the path you will need to follow for a long time, maybe always, and you will find increasing peace through the knowledge of Christ's suffering for us and your suffering for Him. You will suffer, but be able to carry on with your life, as did St. Paul and many others.

However, if you don't experience enough relief to carry on with life and feel productive in what God has given you to do; and/or if your thoughts and worries get worse or personally scary, even as you pray and read the scriptures, it may mean that God will bring someone into your life to help you - perhaps a therapist. If so, it's very important that you find someone who is experienced in dealing with what you describe in the context of your Christian faith. In broadly general terms, only a Christian therapist (and for Orthodox an Orthodox therapist is probably best) will resist ultimately pathologizing your faith, and will actually help you use your faith appropriately as the only way to heal deeply. Such a therapist can be God's instrument in helping you with discernment, and will support you in your prayer life and other appropriate practices that through God's guidance and Will, can bring you the peace of healthy acceptance and healing.
RJG, I know many people who suffer as it sounds like you do. Sometimes it can get very bad and overwhelming, and sometmes it's not too bad. Please don't let it get too bad.

You're in my prayers. In Christ's love -
Melissa

[Warren Bensinger]

Danial, thank you for shareing that. I to have many thougths that worried me. I didn't reialize them as a problum untill I had spent some time with "the prayer". Then I found a book that discribed this problum with the word logismoi. The book was "The Mountian of Silence" by Kyriacos C. Markides. He discribes this term:

"Logismoi are much more intense than simple thoughts. They penetrate into the very depths of a human being...We need to realize, however, that certain thoughts, or -logismoi-, once inside a human being, can undermine every trace of a spiritual life in its very foundation. People who live in the world don't know about the nature and power of logismoi...the spiritual warfare that goes on undetected by ordinary people is carried out through the -logismoi- that constantly assault our hearts and minds. These are the forces that prevent us from experiencing the reality of God."

This I assume is the reason for M.M.'s concern to see a Orthodox Counciler if an experianced "director" isn't avalible.

I found after re-reading this book I had underlined something on just about every page. This cleared up a lot of things for me. Thanks for bringing up the thought.

Learning to Love more.

warren
t.s.

[Denise]

Dear RPJ
I see from the above postings many of us suffer from the same problem of anxiety and negative thinking. I especially am overwhelmed during the Christmas holidays with so much to do, and then we go out of town to visit relatives, which only adds to my anxiety of having so much to get ready. A couple of weeks before Christmas, at Liturgy I prayed for help with this problem. I began to think about what it will be like when we pass from this life and meet Christ, our Savior. That helped me to see how so much here is temporary and unimportant. To meet Christ and be with him, through His mercy, makes all worries fade away.
denise

[Fr RV]

Dear RJG,

I am a first time visitor to this site but when I saw your message I felt drawn to reply.
As priest, monk & your brother in Christ let me offer the following: struggle against the thoughts thru prayer. Frequent confession as seeking the aid of Christ & of course the Eucharist.

My dear brother (and anyone else out there 'listening'); we seek to cure the inner man which takes much time and patience. If we persisit in humility of mind we will find His peace.

In Christ
PS Can you give us your name to pray for you?

[R.J.G.]

Thank you all for your prayers and concern. Fortunately, I sort of snapped out of it quickly. It's the kind of thing that comes and goes every few months or years and lasts a week or less. It could have something to do with the fact that I'm leaving for the convent in a few days, which of course brings all kinds of temptations.

Rebecca