The gift of tears

[Robert C. Mac Donald]

Does anyone know the source of this saying? I heard it read at a retreat years ago and can't find it anywhere. As I recall it:

Abba X [I've forgotten his name]is telling the brothers that the gift of tears is the one greatest gift given to monks, for which they must pray always. A layman [or heretic, or maybe both]who had come to deride the monks says, "If that is so, why did the Lord not command us to do so?" Abba replies, "He did, when he told us to say 'Give us our daily bread,' for it is written, "My tears are my bread day and night." Angry and ashamed, the layman rose to leave, but Abba said, "Don't go son! I spoke in haste and could be wrong." Impressed as much by Abba's humility as by his wisdom, the layman stays and ends his days in penitence.

I'd appreciate any help in locating the source. Thanks and blessings to all.

[Loretta]

Please, I am very interested to know what the "gift of tears" is. Please explain.

Peace,
Loretta

[Robert C. Mac Donald]

Loretta,

The fathers often speak of tears in two senses: as a sign of sorrow for sin, and as a sign of joy at the recognition of one's salvation. In both senses, they seem to be spoken of as both cause and effect of these spiritual states (see for example, the treatise of St. Theognetus in the Philokalia). Which sense "Abba X" may have meant, I can't pretend to know.

[M.C. Steenberg]

Loretta, the topic of the gift of tears is a very important one in Orthodox spirituality, especially within its strong ascetic tradition. Evagrius the Solitary lists it among the first things for which one should pray when beginning the spiritual struggle:


'First pray for the gift of tears, so that through sorrowing you may tame what is savage in your soul. And having confessed your transgressions to the Lord, you will obtain forgiveness from Him' (Evagrius of Pontus, On Prayer, 5).

Those who are beginning the ascetic quest of inner prayer and self purification (Evagrius is speaking, in particular, to monks) soon realise that humility --a necessary prerequisite to prayer-- can only come via the recognition of one's sinfulness; a recognition which, if true and real, will be for each person more than ample cause of tears of repentance and sorrow. Thus there is strong and repeated encouragement to seek after the 'gift of tears' which helps to purify the soul by generating a real repentance through sorrow over one's sin. Yet the tears after which one seeks are not self-instigated tears, not simply an individual's will 'trying to cry' over its problems; it is called the 'gift' of tears precisely because it must come from God, must be a divine grace which implants in the human heart a 'heavenly sorrow' and true perspective on sinfulness. St Mark the Ascetic says of this gift:


'Do not grow conceited if you shed tears when you pray; for it is Christ who has touched your eyes and given you spiritual sight' (St Mark the Ascetic, On the Spiritual Law, 15).

This is the type of tears for which the ascetical writings of the Church urge prayer. But St Mark's words also indicate another reality to spiritual tears (and this was mentioned by Robert in his last post): not only are they tears of sorrow; they are also tears of hope. Through the gifts of tears God grants 'spiritual insight', to use St Mark's phrase, not only of the depth and gravity of sin, but of the extent of divine forgiveness and the complete unworthiness of an individual for its reception. A gift of divine perception is planted into the human heart, revealing at the same time both sin and salvation, and both far more clearly and intensely than ever before. The vision of such tears is, as St Diadochos presents it, a tool for purification:


'Initiatory joy is one thing, the joy of perfection another. The first is not exempt from fantasy, while the second has the strength of humility. Between the two joys comes a "godly sorrow" and active tears; "for in much wisdom is much knowledge, and he that increases knowledge increases sorrow" (Eccl 1.18). The soul, then, is first summoned to the struggle by the initiatory joy and then rebuked and tested by the truth of the Holy Spirit, as regards both its past sins and the vain distractions in which it still indulges. [...] In this manner the soul is tested by divine rebuke as in a furnace, and through fervent remembrance of God it actively experiences the joy exempt from fantasy' (St Diaochos of Photiki, On Spiritual Knowledge, 60).

Here St Diadochus is clear in his assertion that the gifts of 'godly sorrow' and 'active tears' actually bring about the experience of 'joy exempt from fantasy'; that is, pure, true and holy joy. Such tears are part-and-parcel of the 'joy-creating sorrow' of which St John Klimakos wrote in his Ladder of Divine Ascent as among the greatest of aids in the human person's ascent to holiness. Yet he and Evagrius were both aware that the gift of tears could be misappropriated and made a sort of idol all its own. Evagrius writes:


'If you do shed tears during your prayer, do not exalt yourself, thinking you are better than others. For your prayer has received help so that you can confess your sins readily and make your peace with the Lord through your tears. Therefore do not turn the remedy for passions into a passion, and so again provoke to anger Him who has given you this grace. Many people, shedding tears for their sins, forget what tears are for, and in their folly go astray' (Evagrius of Pontus, On Prayer, 7-8).

Tears for their own sake are just tears. Tears for the sake of personal exaltation in prayer are perhaps more the work of the devil than anything else. But the gift of true tears, which are sent from God into the heart of a person and well up from the eyes in all their reality, help one to 'make your peace with the Lord'. These tears are cleansing and purifying -- some of the Fathers speak of them as the re-flowing of the baptismal waters. They are, like all the gifts of God, meant to purify and sanctify the human person into a life of holiness. On this, St Hesychios writes:


'If we preserve, as we should, that purity of heart or watch and guard of the intellect whose image is the New Testament, this will not only uproot all passions and evils from our hearts; it will also introduce joy, hopefulness, compunction, sorrow, tears, an understanding of ourselves and of our sins, mindfulness of death, true humility, unlimited love of God and man, and an intense and heartfelt longing for the divine' (St Hesychios the Priest, On Watchfulness and Holiness, 113).

INXC, Matthew

[Loretta]

Thank you Matthew, for your most thorough explanation.

Peace,
Loretta

[Robert C. Mac Donald]

Matthew,

I second Loretta's thanks for a much better explanation than I could have given.

RCM

[Maria Murray]

"Tears for their own sake are just tears. Tears for the sake of personal exaltation in prayer are perhaps more the work of the devil than anything else."
How do we know if our tears are "just tears" or tears of self-exaltation or tears from God? I am struggling with this understanding - how do we know if our tears are just expressions of self-pity or something worse and not of God? Should we just hold back these tears? Can anyone recommend something to read about this?

[Mary]

"Tears for their own sake are just tears. Tears for the sake of personal exaltation in prayer are perhaps more the work of the devil than anything else."
How do we know if our tears are "just tears" or tears of self-exaltation or tears from God? I am struggling with this understanding - how do we know if our tears are just expressions of self-pity or something worse and not of God? Should we just hold back these tears? Can anyone recommend something to read about this?

Dear Maria,

since I can spend way too much time speculating on my own motives and haven't really profited from knowing what I'm truly thinking/feeling, I pretty much approach my tears as "Guilty, till proven innocent" Or "False, till proven True". The Judge, of course, isn't me, but God. God knows if they are true. If they are, they are acceptable to Him. If they're not, then I haven't lost anything by imagining them to be true. If they are indeed true, then my knowing that they are true, isn't in any way going to benefit me, except to fill me up with satisfaction that I have offered up a true sacrifice. And that puts me in greater danger of being deluded.

My friend told me, to not spend too much time thinking about anything, either good or bad. Analysing my thoughts to such a degree, is totally unnecessary. I should learn to ignore my good thoughts as much as my bad ones, because the good ones can be just as distracting as the bad ones. Dwelling on my successes, is just as harmful as dwelling on my failures. When I fail, I repent and go on, and try again. When I succeed, thank God and move on. I may not succeed again at the same thing, twice in a row, so it's best to not dwell on it and pat myself on my back for it.

So, if I feel like crying, I just cry. And when I stop, I go on with my prayer. Sometimes, I can't, so I stop. Othertimes, when I think I really should be crying, I don't. So I keep going with my prayer till I'm done. I dont' try to make myself cry. Neither do I try to stop myself if I do, by trying to figure it out. I'm bad at crying. All my life, I practiced not crying. So, when I cry, it's a good thing, whether my motives are good or not. Usually, it's from self pity or from anger. Very rarely is it from true repentance. That, is probably because I don't really love God or anyone else as much as I love myself. But what good is it to know all that? It's not like I can do anything about it all. I cannot do anything without God's help.

Have I just said the same thing over and over, several times?! Talk about going in circles. See, thinking too much is just totally pointless! =)

In Christ,
Mary.

PS - sorry about not having any reading to recommend. I'm not well read.

[Andreas Moran]

I haven't done much reading on tears - I only know what I was taught by Bishop Eirenaos. He told me, 'know that there are different kinds of tears. There are tears of joy, tears of thankfulness, tears of sorrow for some tribulation such as an illness or for a bereavement. Your conscience, refind by grace, will let you know each kind. Do not try to force them to come - they come not from you but from God. But when you are inspired to want them, they will come. When you are praying or - rarely - when you have partaken of the Holy Gifts, you may feel a warmth in your heart and tears come. These proceed from grace. Such warmth and tears are a foreshadowing of the Uncreated Light. They are not the Light but they signify the presence of grace, the operation of the Holy Spirit. When you feel contrition for your sins, tears may come. These are different. Instead of a warmth in your heart, you will feel an impulse of shame like a knife in your heart. God it is Who gives us such awareness of our sins. The Fathers tell us that then God is whispering in the ear of our heart that we are forgiven. Tears of repentance are really tears of joy. Why? Because they make us realise the love of God for us. If you wish to have the grace of tears, cry over your sins.'

[Antonios]

"Tears for their own sake are just tears. Tears for the sake of personal exaltation in prayer are perhaps more the work of the devil than anything else."
How do we know if our tears are "just tears" or tears of self-exaltation or tears from God? I am struggling with this understanding - how do we know if our tears are just expressions of self-pity or something worse and not of God? Should we just hold back these tears? Can anyone recommend something to read about this?

Dear Maria,

Tears from true compunction often are not even realized by those whom have received this gift, even after their laps are completely soaked by them.

In Christ,
Antonios