My wife is pregnant

[Nicholas Richard]

Hello all,

This is my first real post here. I have been just reading and learning since I joined your wonderful community a few weeks ago. I just found out that my wife is pregant and I would first like to ask all of your prayers for us and the child she is carrying as we are both young in our early twenties and much younger mentaly (My name is Nicholas and her name is Maria). Please ask God to grant us the ability to be good Orthodox examples and raise our child correctly in the Holy Church.

I just have two questions I was hoping you could answer for me. I am not sure if I posted this in the right section so please feel free to move it if you feel the need.

1. My wife is about 6 weeks pregnant so does that mean that the child has a soul already? When does the child have a soul, at the moment of conception? Perhaps the Church doesn't find the need to answer such a question and perhaps it isn't totally nessessary to know but I was just very curious.

2. I know that only baptized Orthodox Christians can recieve the Holy Body and Blood of our Lord. What a pregnant woman eats also the baby eats as well. So, my question is, as the baby is not a baptized Orhtodox Christian as of yet, should the woman not partake of Holy Communion until after giving birth or is this an exception to the rule and should she partake even more?

Thank you for listening and I hope you have the time to answer my strange and probably stupid questions.

In Christ,

Nicholas

[Charalambos Andrew Geo]

As far as i know the child has a soul the moment of conception, one of the reasons why it's very against abortion, I heard Ayios Stilianos is known for people praying to him for their children, i could be wrong but in the icons he is shown holding a baby wrapped up.
God be with you your wife and your Baby, stay happy and just think what a miracle it is,
Love in Christ
Harry

[dianne marie debs]

In Our Lord’s Name,

Dear Nicholas,

I am very happy for you and your wife. Congratulations!!!!

One of my very good friends and mentor, Father Ibraham Saad, told me that he is quite surprised when people tell him that they don’t want to have children He said, “Dianne, the best reason to have a child is because there will be one more person who can be introduced to Our Lord and who can experience His Love.” AMEN.

I am a mother of 5 children (4 boys and 1 girl) ; I struggle every day of my life because I am always finding ways and moments that I missed where I could have planted a little of this Divine Love for my kids The Lord is kind and He knows how hard I try.

Ask for His guidance and He will provide Count on Him in every thing to do with your new child; He will protect you and your family.

I, personally, feel that the minute a child is conceived , he is a person; therefore has a soul. Can’t he immediately make is mother have morning sickness; therefore he is there, alive and growing every minute.

I have never heard of any Father refusing a pregnant woman Holy Communion.
I will leave the true church answers to the more scholar members of this forum.

Congratulations again God Bless your unborn child.

A humble servant,
Dianne

[Xenia]

Hi Nicolas, congratulations!

Like Dianne, we also have 5 children and like Dianne, I also missed many opportunities to show God's love. But God's mercies are new every morning!

Our priest's wife recently had a baby. All through her pregnancy she partook of Holy Communion, so I'm sure it's ok.

Love in Christ, Xenia

[Fr Averky]

Dear Nicholas and Maria,

My warmest prayers and blessings for your new child of God! The purpose of Chistian marriage is the mutual salvation of the husband and wife, and the children born of a holy union are a blessing , and if they grow in grace and love of God, they will be the joy in your lives and the comfort of your old age.

Always keep in mind the the touching and beautiful words of the Crowning Service:

"O blessed art thou, and happy shalt thou be.
Thy wife shall be a fruitful vine upon the walls of thy house.
Thy children like a newly-planted olive orchard round about thy table.
Lo, thus shall be the man that feareth the Lord.
The Lord in Zion shall so bless thee, that thou shalt see the good things of Jerusalem all thy life long.
Yea, that thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace upon Israel."

How could I say more blessed words to you?

Lovingly yours,

Fr. A.

[Fr Averky]

A word, Nicholas:

Take heed of the kind and assuring words of the mothers - your child is a person who has a soul, created in the image and likeness of God.

Of course of course, your wife should be receiving communion, for she is not only feeding the the new life God has planted in her womb physically, but the Divine Mysteries are already nurturing a tiny soul, and starting now, the child will know the sweet joy and will receive the Divine Grace of the Precious Body and Blood of our Saviour. For Maria, the Mysteries are Divine medicine, strengthening her in her body and soul

Our Most Pure Lady, the Mother of God was filled with the Holy Spirit and the Mystery of her holy maternity. She is the Mother of mothers, and pray to her, as we all will for you, asking her to tenderly keep you and your wife and your new little Christian under her tender protection and mercy.

With prayers,
Fr. A.

[Effie Ganatsios]

Congratulations Nicholas and Mary.

The messages you have already received are full of love and hope. I would just like to add a little more.

"Life begins at the instant of conception, according to the clear teaching of the Orthodox Church. Witness to this miracle of life and the privilege of entering into the creative energies of God is provided by the accounts of Mary being "overshadowed" by the Holy Spirit, and of John the Baptist leaping for joy in Anna's womb when the sound of Mary's greeting came to his ears. "

The 9 months until the birth of your child are going to be months that you will remember for the rest of your lives..... you are so lucky.

I only have one son and one of the great sadnesses of my life is the fact that I didn't have more children.

I am happy for you.

Effie

[Effie Ganatsios]

Nicholas, I thought the following might also interest you :

"Scripture gives us to understand that all human life is a gift from God, and that this gift of life is given at the moment of conception when a unique individual is formed through a cooperative act of Divine creativity. If it were not so, the Church would have no reason to celebrate the feast of the Conception of the Mother of God (DEC, 9) or of St. John the Baptist (Sept. 23). And nowhere is this more clearly stated than in the service for the Feast of the Annunciation: "The descent of the Holy Spirit has purified my soul and sanctified my body; it has made of me a Temple that contains God, a Tabernacle adorned, a living Sanctuary, and the pure Mother of Fife" (Canticle 7 of the Feast).

Similarly, in the Troparion of the same feast we sing, "Today is the beginning of our salvation .... The Son of God becomes the Son of the Virgin as Gabriel announces the coming of Grace

Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee; and before thou camest forth from the womb, I sanctified thee; I appointed thee a prophet to the nations. (Jeremiah 1:5)

A number of passages in the Scriptures describe God' s relationship to that unique individual growing in the womb:

"The Lord called me from the womb, from the body of my mother He named my name... Who formed me from the womb to be His servant'' (Is. 49:1, 5).

An even more concrete example is found in the New Testament, where there is described the visit of the Holy Virgin to the righteous Elizabeth, already six months with child. While yet a fetus in the womb, St. John the Baptist "leaped for joy" at the salutation of the Theotokos, knowing she was even then, in truth, the Mother of God.

The Holy Fathers were fully aware that the mystery of human life begins at the very moment of conception. In the writings of St. Basil the Great, St. Gregory of Nyssa, Tertullian and others, it is clear that from the first stages of development the fetus contains a soul, and this soul is sacred."

Effie

[Nicholas Richard]

Dear all in Christ,

Thank you so much for your kind congradulations, edifying answers to my questions and prayers before God.

I realize now how basic and a little stupid my questions were and I thank you for bearing with my idiocy. My wife said today when I told her about the two questions I asked on this list, ''Duh, I have been Orthodox for not even two years and even I know that a baby has a soul at conception''. Not like this is an excuse for my stupidity but I never seriously thought about spiritual things involving a baby before (never having had one of my own). I new abortion is evil and all but I was just in awe trying to contemplate that my wife had a little human being with an absolutely defined soul in her belly right away. So I found myself confused and full of contadicting thoughts.


Anyway, thank you all so much again for your kindess, answers and especially prayers.

In Christ,

Nicholas

[Nicholas Richard]

Dear all in Christ,


I wanted to ask your prayers because I have some awful news. It looks more likley than not that I am not going to be a father yet after all. About a week ago my wife Maria started to find blood in her discharge and the doctor ordered her to stay in bed for a week and come back. She went back today and for the first time the doctor could not hear the babies heartbeat. He is not totaly sure but it looks like a miscarriage. We will know for sure on thursday. It is like a nightmare right now for both of us but if it God's will for us to not have a baby now, I suppose we must accept as we don't deserve such a gift anyway. But I will keep praying for the life of my baby, even if there is only a small chance, and I ask you to please pray as well.

Thank you,

In Christ,

Nicholas

[Richard Leigh]

Dear Richard N.,

I grieve with you at your news. I agree (symphonize) with you in you prayer of St. David for the life of your child, as my wife and I lost our first, Mark Stephen, in similar circumstances.

Let us pray that the evils of this world not be too much for the safety of the soul of this child, as well as gratitude for the the death of our Father's only Son that we no longer see death but live with Him eternally (Ages to ages, including this one), and for forgiveness for any sin, revealed or unrevealed, and grace not to despise His discipline. May Christ, God's Holy Son bear the death of us all that we, and especially this child live His resurrection Life by His Spirit. And we pray for the body and soul of the Mother as well, that she be strengthened and encouraged. Amen.

Peace to you and yours,

Richard L.

P.s., Whatever happens, God the Holy Trinity is in the midst of it and all around it. --RL

[Xenia]

Oh Nicholas, I am so sorry to hear this bad news.

I will be remembering you in my prayers.

Your sister Xenia

[John Wilson]

Be assured of our prayers. My wife and I almost lost two of our children in this way. One at the beginning of pregnancy and the other near the end.

John.

[Fr Averky]

Dear in Christ Nicholas,

My heart goes out to you and your wife during this difficult time. We do not know why this apparent tragedy happens, yet we understand that death, like life, is a mystery, and all of our lives, no matter how long or short, are in the mind of God, and He permits what he does for His own blessed reasons.

Of course, I offer my prayers for you and your dear wife. May God send you the grace to suffer the loss, should that be the case. Do not feel either guilty or unworthy, but simply know that God, who never makes a mistake, or does bad things, allows what happens to us out of His love and Wisdom.

God bless and keep you.

Much love in Christ,

Fr. A.

[Effie Ganatsios]

Nicholas, I too had a miscarriage very early in a pregnancy when my son was about 9. I know how devastating it is when it happens. Trust that everything will be OK - being calm is very important for your wife just now. I will pray for you and your wife because you DO deserve to have a child. don't even think otherwise, please!

The things you wrote in your messages show that you are a caring person.

God be with you and your wife.

Effie

[Matthew Panchisin]

Dear Nicholas & Maria,

In some parishes there is the custom of making small prosphori available to the faithful, who send them into the altar with a list of names for prayers for the salvation and health of the those listed.

When the priest receives the prosphora and the list, he prays for the people indicated and takes a small particle of bread for each name and places it on the diskos, in the center of which is the cube of bread which will become the Body of Christ during the Divine Liturgy.
The origins of this practice go back to the days when the faithful would bring the bread and wine to be used in the Liturgy. (Revised text From OCA website)

On Sunday morning as it is traditional within our church, I will put forth prosphora for the health and salvation of you and your family.

My heartfelt prayers are with you and your family.

In Christ,

Matthew

[Nicholas Richard]

Dear all in Christ,

Thank you all for your kind prayers and comforting words which many of you lovingly sent both on and off list. It turns out that the misfortunate event which we were afraid of has come to pass. My wife goes into the hospital for the operation of having the departed child removed on Monday. Please continue your prayers for her (Maria) heath and that the operation goes smoothly. The doctor did say that their is no problem with both of us and that we would be able to have children in the future so that is good news.

I do have one question. I will try to contact the priest here but may not be able to in time so I will ask here. What do we do with the fetus after it is taken out. I live in Japan now and I learned that it is the custom here to put it in the family grave plot. What are we Orthodox supposed to do, if anything, with it?

Thank you. May God bless you all for your kindness towards us.

In Christ,

Nicholas and Maria

[Richard Leigh]

Dear Nicholas,

Bury it if you can. That would always be the first choice. Ask your priest is there is a burial or funeral service for a departed fetal child.

Richard

[Archbishop Constantin]

The rule in the Greek practice is that if the child is formed, there should be a burial service. The burial service of infants from the small euchologion. Wherever in the service is used a name, the words "un-named and un-baptized" should be used. Please, don't get legalistic about the unbaptised part. In the euchologion there is even a service, for the burial of non-Orthodox, because burying the dead, according to St. Paul, is an act of mercy.

I am really and truly sorry. May the Lord bless you and give you many children to rejoice in Him.

Arzobispo Constantino

[dianne marie debs]

Dear Nicholas and Maria,

Not many words can comfort such a loss. Let us though rejoice in the fact that the unborn child who you were not able to see is now in Heaven with Our Lord.

May He comfort you in these difficult days.

I will pray for all three of you.
God Bless.
Dianne

[Rose]

Dearest Nicholas,
Years ago I fell down a flight of stairs in the snow while carrying my year and a half year old daughter. I was pregnant at the time with our son. The bleeding started and eventually little Joseph Michael's heart stopped beating. I baptized him while he was still within me and delivered him three days after he died. That evening I had the most vivid dream of Our Holy Mother Mary (so very beautiful) holding him and smiling at me.

We made arrangements for Joseph to be buried in a section of the cemetary designated for still born babies. There are no markers on the graves there but he's in sacred ground.

I think about Joseph now and then (you never forget) and I hope to see him when Our Savior takes me. Meanwhile I know Mary is looking after him as she will looking after your child too.

My poor prayers are with you and Maria.

[George Hawkins]

Dear Nicholas and Maria,
I was so sorry to hear of your loss, may God comfort you. I asked Father to remember you both at Proskemedia yesterday. You are in my prayers and thoughts, may God look after Maria on Monday.
Nicholas, talk to Fr John (Takahashi). Hopefully it might be possible to have a burial plot at Yanaka.

George

[Fr Averky]

Dear Nicholas,

I add my words of heart-felt sympathy and prayers at your loss: As I told you before, this did not happen because you or your wife have not been God-pleasing, but because it pleased God to take your child to be with Him.

As Rose so beautifully expressed her thoughts; your precious baby will always be a part of you, and you will always think of him. Sometimes it is so hard to understand the "why" of something that has happened, but in the end, we must accept the will of God as being what is best.

May our Most Pure Lady, the Mother of God, comfort you at this time. You are young, and by God's mercy. there will be other children.

With love in Christ,

Fr. A.

[Antonios]

Thought I would share this sonogram image with everyone.

link (http://www.corazones.org/signos_mensajes/bebe_y_mariaeng.htm)