Prayers against depression

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone!

I am new to this forum although I have been reading it for a while.

I have a family member who suffers from depression and stress, but does not think they need to find the time and make the effort to seek help: either to pray or to go to an Orthodox therapist or both.

So, far the only thing I have found worthwhile doing from my part is to pray for my relative, but my prayers have not yet been answered. I am trying to be strong and courageous, but I have to admit that I have my bad moments too--perhaps too many of them to be effective for my relative.

Do you have any suggestions for what I can do? Any prayers against depression or names of saints that help with depression? I found out about New Martyr Maria of Gatchina.

I wish I could ask you to pray for us, but I cannot afford to tell you our real names because my relative may get even angrier if they found out about this message.

Thanks for your help!

[matt]

I am praying this finds you well. I have had many friends and family memebers who have had to bear the cross of depression. It requires great patience and understanding.

I pray to two saints in particular for this issue, St Xenia and St Jude. St jude is the patron of hopeless causes and St Xenia I have found great comfort in as someone who seems to have suffered from some sort of mental anguish. Remeber too, and this may or may not be appropriate to say to someone with the problem, that someone with mental illness can be totally sanctified and give this to God as well. Perhaps many of the Fools for Christ would technically be classified as mentally ill. This may be scandelous to some, but in reality it shows how great is the grace of Christ to identify himself in teh lives and pains of the ill, even if their illness is in the mind. When we are weakest he is strongest. Not so easy a truth to live out, but a comfort in times of darkness.

Regarding an Orthodox therapist, i have known some priests who have been very oppossed to both any type of medication and any type of help from non-Orthodox sources. This is to me a very dangerous,and potentially deadly, proposal. I mean this in all seriousness. THere are many excellent non-Orthodox helpers that God gives us. Of course we must use discernment, but we must also recognize expertise in areas that are not totally spiritual in their root causes. If someone has a chemical imbalance, they may very well need to be medicated along with talk therapy, for example. I have seen lives ruined when Orthodox refuse to seek help form people who are medical doctors and trianed to help in such cases.

I am a close friend with someone who is a pshychiatrist and a devout Orthodox who would be willing to email or talk to you via the phone if you would like some professional and confidential advice or guidance in finding someone in your area. Email me if you would like more details.

May Christ renew our minds.

MAtt

[Irene]

Dear Anonymous

Depression is a very common problem battled by many of us, myself included. I have found out by discussing this with Priests that it can be because of a lack of faith. Therefore one of the prayers that I use is the one to increase my faith and I alter it a little to include my family members who at times because of circumstances may get very down.

Also, and this I highly recommend, do the Akathist to the Mother of God, Joy of All Who Sorrow as often as you possibly can. We usually do this weekly. see http://www.joyinsorrow.com/viewPrayer.asp?id=10

In Christ
Irene

[Irene]

Prayers for depression

I am sorry that I can not remember where I found the following prayers - just change the words a little to say help (friends name) or help us ....... Irene

Prayer for Times of Despair

O Lord it is easy to walk with you when things go well and nothing seems wrong. Yet, now I feel as Peter must have felt as he saw you walk towards him on the open sea. He tried to come to you and then lost hope and began to sink. When I am down, come to me as you came to Peter. Help me, even though my faith seems weak. Amen.

Prayer for an increase of faith

Help me, O Lord, to hear the words you spoke to Jarius, whose daughter was cured, "Do not be afraid, only have faith". Help me to hear them to understand them, to believe them, even though I say with the father of the possessed boy, "I do not have faith!" Help me where my faith falls short! Help me, O Lord, to believe that your promise is true, that Your Words unlike so many of mine are not empty. You have said, "Let there be light," and there was light. You also said, "Everyone who looks upon the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life." Help me, O Lord, to believe and to abide in your presence right now, that in the moments ahead I may dwell in your house for ever. Amen

[matt]

Dear Friends,
I must say that it would be with great caution that I would suggest to people with clinical depression that their pains are caused by a lack of faith. Irene, please understand that I am not trying to argue against what you have written. I only think that there must be a distinction made between a general despondancy and a clinical condition. Are they often related? Yes. But can someone with severe depression be told to have more faith and everything will be ok? I do not want to sound fanatical, but I have seen so much destruction caused in innocent lives by trusting in the dictum, "Have more faith", when in reality they needed some serious therapy and medication. Having faith may include believing someone who has experience and medical training in the area.

I remember speaking with a close friend who was told by her priest that she needed to just pray more and her racing thoughts would go away. The thoughts continued to get worse and worse. She couldn't see that some mental problems require medical help. But the same priest who told her not to have medication for her brain took medication for his heart and wore glasses. This is the problem that I have noticed over and over again- medication and professional (non-Orthodox) intervention is fine unless it has to do with psychiatric or psychological issues, then it is wrong and just secular brainwashing. I have spoken with so many who advocate that approach and it simply hurts lives. WHy not just have more faith and not need glasses or heart medication?
The danger with this approach, especially with psychological problems, is that when results don't occur, the blame is piled upon the sufferer even more. "You didn't get better becasue you didn't trust God."

Again, Irene, I am NOT suggesting that this is what you are advocating. I am only commenting upon a general trend among certain Orthodox that I have regular contact with who actually do teach this approach. And I would suggest that the 'have faith" approach ultimately means "have faith in your faith" (so popular among Protestant televangelists), which is not useful after the first series of failures and ultimately is a branch of name-it-and-claim-it spirituality.
Matt

[Tracy Mullins]

Thanks for sharing that, Matt. I'm not Orthodox yet, but I have been on medication for clinical depression for several years. Having a chemical imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain seems to run in my family. I'm not saying it is always 100% physical, because for me it is both physical and spiritual. To treat one side of it and not the other can be fruitless. I've spent a lot of time in therapy combined with medication and it kept my symptoms somewhat in balance, but it did not eliminate the problem because I wasn't dealing with it on a spiritual level. I don't do therapy anymore, but I'm trying to deal with it with medication and prayer/fasting (not as much with the fasting because I'm not very good at that yet).

IMO, telling someone to only focus on the spiritual side, OR to only focus on the physical side, is fruitless at best, dangerous at worse. I don't think it is wise to divide the body from the soul/spirit. What effects the one will effect the other. The Gnostics love to divide the two, with the body being evil and the soul/spirit being superior. Not a good thing.

**All of this, of course, is coming from someone who is not yet chrismated, and with a weak theological background. I am forever open to correction.;-)***

[Fr. George Morelli]

> St. Luke the Evangelist, was a physician, Sts. Cosmas and Damian, were > unmercenary physicians. The Church has a rich tradition of such > bodily healing. Man is made in God's image and called to be like > Him. As we know from the Church Fathers, one of the reflections of > the image of God in us, is our intelligence (flawed as it may be). > Thus it behooves us to use all the talents God gave us [including our > intelligence] in caring for ourselves and the world around us. In as > much as the laws of nature, are of God's creation our attempt to > discern these laws and use them to care for His creation (including > ourselves) would be a part of our the instruction given by by God to > our first parents. From Christ, we have the grace of the healing of > the spirit by the gifts of the Holy Spirit. The Unction Service and > the gift of tears in acesis and repentance, illumination and God > abiding in us (theosis) are integral in the healing of the spirit, > mind and body. Modern scientific psychology, discovering God's laws > of how He created our mind and emotions to work and using such > knowledge in part of healing is in actuality an extension of the > healing work of our holy-physician tradition. Man is composed of > body-mind-spirit. Healing of illness by respecting the domains of the > physical, psychological (which God created) and the spiritual (given > to us by grace), yet allowing for the integration and synergy of each > in the final outcome is orthodox. My training and experience as a > clinical psychologist and the grace of the priesthood have been > invaluable to me to be God's instrument in healing. I suggest that > the Orthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology and > Religion website: www.ocampr.org (http://www.ocampr.org), be investigated by all who may be > interested in this issue. I know that when I have a patient > clinically depressed, it would be sinful of me not to treat the person > with the best of scientific clinical medicine, psychology and the > fullness of Orthodox spiritual gifts as I am able. (e.g. if the person > is non-Orthodox, I may be only able to pray for them, Orthodox can be > open to receive the fullness of the healing mysteries of Christ > etc.). ..... in the healing Christ's name ...FrGeorge

[Tracy Mullins]

Thanks, Fr. George! This is one of the reasons I look forward to being able to partake of the Sacraments of the Church. Not that Unction or Communion is like waving a magic wand, but I desire (and need) the healing grace that is imparted in them.

/Tracy

[Anonymous]

Thanks to everyone for your speedy replies, for the suggested prayers and the names of the saints.

Matt, I already have an Orthodox therapist in mind. With God’s help, may the therapist’s work be helpful and may my relative agree to visit the therapist, and be receptive to what they hear. In case this does not work, I’ll use your invitation to e-mail you. Irene, many thanks for the prayers and for the Akathist. I agree with you that depression has to do with lack of faith, although not only with lack of faith, as the fathers of the Church have explained (there’s a book against depression, I think it’s even listed on the website you suggested; this topic is also discussed in more detail in one of the articles which are listed on the website that Fr. Morelli mentions.).

But I agree with Matt that the depressed do not take it so easy when you tell them that they should have more faith in God and pray more often. Now, I think that prayer is not only related to the soul. If one prays and does prostrations, the whole body, mind, and spirit is evolved. To tell a person in trouble to say the Jesus prayer often until they feel better, especially if they do not have experience with it, may be very frustrating. Well, I speak from my own experience. It just did not make sense to me to say “Lord have mercy” when I am scared or when I need help. It actually made me more scared, especially when I added “Have mercy on me a sinner”: now, not only do I need help and do not feel in control, but I am also a sinner; that makes the situation even worse—at least so it seemed then. Plus, for a beginner to say this prayer, without any explanation what the prayer is all about, they are easy prey for temptations from the devil. No wonder the frustrating thoughts increase a thousandfold.

Eventually, after doing some reading (not nearly enough as I would like) by the Fathers of the Church and on the lives of the saints, I realized that the Jesus’s prayer (and fasting too) is a way to control one’s mind, to be an ascetic, not to allow temptations like low spirit, cowardice, etc. to control my mind, thoughts, and actions. St. Mary of Egypt is my favorite model for praying until the peace of the Holy Spirit calmed her heart, no matter how long she had to pray.

But try to convince a depressed person that they latch onto depressing thoughts. The suffering person just does not want to hear and understand that they choose—from their free will—to allow the depressing thoughts to control their mind and life instead of to allow themselves to have complete trust in God in what’s ahead of them.

Fr. Morelli, I have already read your article and the others posted on the website that you mention in your message even before you posted your message. The suggestions in the articles regarding depression seem great, but they are relevant to a person who wants to seek help. Before that happens, it seems to me that the relatives of the suffering person have the obligation to pray for them.

As for medication against depression and stress, at least with my relative it may be that they’ll feel even worse if the therapist prescribes such a medication because of the stigma that antidepressants have. I am no expert in psychology, and I cannot say whether my relative needs such medications, but I hope that approaching the healing process with God’s trust, not trust in the medications or trust in the therapist, and by the prayers of the Theotokos, the New Martyr Maria of Gatchina, St. Xenia, St. Jude, St. Luke the Evangelist, and Sts. Cosmas and Damian, God will be merciful to my relative.

[Irene]

Well Matt, My words cut and pasted were "I have found out by discussing this with Priests that it can be because of a lack of faith."

As a person who has been diagnosed with clinical depression, who has been prescribed anti-depressants over and over for years. I take nothing back. I wrote from personal experience and nothing! no drug no treatment! has ever worked for me as well as my recommendations.

Mrs Anonymous asked for Saints to pray for and I gave her prayers. Dismiss my words if you wish - I am no one to give advice - just a struggler in the faith trying to learn.

Mrs Anonymous Pray to The Virgin Mary it will work.

Sweetest Lord Jesus Save Us.

irene

[James H.]

Irene,

I think you took offense where none was intended. It doesn't seem at all that Matt was criticising you. In fact I beleive he said he wasn't accusing you of anything. He didn't contradict what you said, only added that at times medication can be necessary and that SOME people's lives have been ruined by such advice IF taken in a black and white way. Matt seemed to be speaking from his own experience and in no way was saying that your experience was any less valid. The fact is we know nothing about Ms. Anonymous' friend's history and situation (and the fact that none of us are trained) makes it impossible to know what is best for her friend. Matt was only trying to offer a different point of view for for the inquirer. I am glad that you didnt have to use medication, but you can't say that NO ONE will ever need medication. I think tracy's email best reflects the ideas in both yours and Matt's post.

Don't take my post to offense. i am not at all criticizing your experience and I'm sorry that it seems you thought Matt was.

James

[Irene]

Dear James Haghenschlapfter

I did not take any offense to Matt's words or your own.

If my words came across as my being offended well I am very surprised - I was typing them out while waiting to take my children to school and the morning has been going extremely well.

I was feeling quite content it is a lovely day here and we have actually had rain. Some serious issues are gradually calming down in our life and I am still feeling quite happy.

All I can suppose is that it is my low level of education that makes me write so badly as to give the wrong impression - I thought that it was ok to bold to emphasis certain parts in a sentence.
Or perhaps it is even a cultural difference - I don't know.

God bless you for standing up for Matt.

I say again I feel no offense nor irritation and if I did I would be praying harder before posting.

I wrote my original posting from my own experience and I wanted to emphasis the truth in it for me and other people who I have met.

Irene

[Irene]

Dear Monachos members especially Matt and James Haghenschlapfter I humbly beg your forgiveness for any offense that I may have given you all by the poor tone of my writing.

I just want everyone to know and believe as I do. I have seen miraculous spiritual healing within this last year of 3 of my dear relatives. One who was depressed and angry and threatening to "Disappear" One who was mutilating themselves and threatening suicide and one who was so depressed they never even attended to their own grooming and rarely answered the phone or door.

I , also, have a friend who also prays with us who has had spiritual healing within her own family of intensely private nature that I will not discuss as it is not my right.

Take heart and believe dear people.

irene the unworthy

[Charalambos Andrew Geo]

By the way, the Liturgy when people have time and are willing can attend it and as its the Greatest Mirical our church has it can do so mush for everyone if one can participate in the proper way, not that i fully know what that is but from what i have heard. A spiritual father is very good, Humilty is a brilliant tool against these problems, Unconditional Love, Patience, all for God, even though they are extremely hard to achieve are possible in Christ if you dont have them pray for them Fr Arseny did say when he was alive that when 2 or 3 are gathered in My name i will be amoung them, he said it is very affective, have to go with love in Christ,
Charalambos