Spouse may turn away from Christianity

[J.T. Craven]

Hello,

Over the past few months, my wife has been struggling with her faith. At first, I thought she was having difficulty adjusting to the Orthodox Church, which has been common among other convert friends of ours. But recently, she told me that this is something she's been struggling with for decades. She grew up a pastor's daughter and still feels her parents influence on her life. She has also told me that she has rarely felt what she believes is promised in the Church: an abiding sense of God's love.

We have gone back and forth about this several times, but it appears there's nothing I can say that will help. I have told her that regardless of the conclusion she comes to, even though I may disagree with it, I plan on staying by her side. At the same time my heart aches for her and I feel helpless. I don't know what to do other than pray my guts out and trust in God.

I would be most grateful for any insight that can be offered. Especially from those who may have gone through the same thing and/or are in a marriage with a non-Christian.

In Christ,
Jeff

[Trudy Ellmore]

Dear Jeff,

I've no fabulous advice other than that which you are already doing...praying your guts out. If you will allow me, I will add you and your wife to my prayer list.

As a woman, all I can suggest is that you continue to love her "where she's at." Acknowledge her struggle with lots of hugs and no condemnation. Try to avoid "fixing" her or solving the problem.

Sometimes we women find it difficult to establish our faith as our own. Meaning: we believed what our families taught us and when we married we followed our husbands into whatever church they were in or converted to marry them or whatever. Perhaps what she is struggling to do is discover the Faith for herself. I don't know if I'm making any sense here.

In Christ, Trudy
(soon to be Athanasia - 13 days)

[J.T. Craven]

Thanks again, Trudy, for your post. Hearing from you has been helpful. I'm looking forward to seeing what others may have experienced or learned as well.

In Christ,
Jeff

[Trudy Ellmore]

Jeff,

You are quite welcome. I must confess to being disappointed that there have not been any additional posts regarding your concern. I think this is a huge issue, not just for you, but for many.

You have been in my prayers and will continue to be.

Best regards, Trudy

[Irene]

Dear Jeff,

You are in a difficult and painful situation.

All I can say to you is that, I, myself - a convert - went away from the Church for a few years. I didn't want to try and understand being Orthodox anymore and I wanted to be just like everyone else, just like my own family who are non-religious - it seemed easier.

My ex-husband&#39;s <u>mother and sister</u> and other Orthodox people never ceased to pray for me and for my children and I came back, only about a year ago, but I did come back and with a much greater understanding of the Church than I ever had in the past.

Now I am part of a mission, the Church choir and my conscience is sounding suspiciously like my Priest!

I don&#39;t know if that helps - I&#39;m just saying prayer does work - eventually.

With Love in Christ
Irene

[matt]

Jeff,
Please know that while we may not have much advice beyond what has been written, we are all praying for your situation.

MAtt

[A Servant of the Lord]

Congradulations on 17th Annuversary of the marrige &#40;Chisrian beliver and none&#41; which was on 5th of September&#40;Commemoration day of St.Zaharia and St.Elesabeth&#41;

[J.T. Craven]

Thank you Matt, Trudy, & Irene for your words. And thank you for your prayers. May God bless, forgive, and have mercy on all of us.

Jeff

[J.T. Craven]

Irene - I would be very interested &#40;if you&#39;re willing&#41; to hear more about your reasoning / thinking / feeling behind leaving Christianity. It certainly is easier to &#34;be like everyone else&#34;. At the same time, I can see the good &#40;as opposed to best&#41; that is offered in the current mood of the age: morality without God, church, or restraints. For example, my family is probably very similar to yours - non-religious but very good people. They outshine me on many occasions. My brother-in-law gave up Christianity several years ago for a vague agnosticism. At the same time, I have seen him grow into a more genuine and honest person. I think the general stereotype the public &#40;and many Christians&#41; beleive is that you cannot be moral or good without God. I believe that you can, but that&#39;s not the point of Christianity. It&#39;s so much more than that.

Anyway, I&#39;m interested to hear your thoughts if you&#39;d be willing to give them.

In Christ, Jeff

[Charalambos Andrew Geo]

Ask St Joachim and Anna and Saint Zacharias and Elizabeth and Issac and Rebecca Adam and Eve, Saint John of Kronstadt Saint Emilia and Her Husband, Tell the Mother of God and God the things you wish to say to your spouse and God will speak in their hearts, I know Sr Magdelene recommends it in her book on Conversations with Children, ask all the Holy Saints to Inspire Love in your spouse for the Church or for Gods will to be done, May God be with you and comfort you and bless you, pray for me,
with love in Christ Charalambos