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Christopher Paul Davie
20-04-2004, 04:23 PM
Hello. I have just registered again after a period of absence; the site is brilliant and I gained much edification from it.
I am a Catholic currently but on a journey, i hope, to become Orthodox one day (my favourite spiritual writers are Orthodox and they are very important to me; I am very interested also in Mount Athos). I have made various Orthodox church attendances and hope to attend the Institute for Orthodox Studies in Cambridge eventually.
However in the meantime disaster has struck (and I am sorry this is even quite embarrassing).
My wife fell into the charismatic movement in the Catholic church which led to her speaking in tongues and developing what i thought were all manner of,well, strange views (in my opinion). It even led her to ullulate and believe she had healing powers.
I was recommended a most wise document about this on this site, which I thought brilliant, but she would take no notice.
My own Christian views are conventional, and I felt the path she was taking would lead to disaster. I was worried about her mental health.
Well, disaster for me. I refused to attend the church she went to as I felt it was heretical.
Well it led to a period of some difficulty between us with me attending an Orthodox church on Sunday and she going to her church.
Ultimately her charismatic friends persuaded her to divorce me and I had to leave the house and be homeless for a while.
(No divorce yet...just separation)
I was staggered by this even though I had had a really bad feeling for ages. It saddened me deeply that i could no longer agree with my wife about anything spiritual. She changed into someone I barely knew.
Now, I am a flawed person and was not always the easiest person to live with. Some of the fault in this was mine. But my wife will not accept counselling as she is convinced that God talks to her daily via this sort of ullulating stuff and that I am the outcast.
So now I am in bedsit and rarely see my seven children.
I am getting my life back in order and today for the first time started to get a prayer life going again/reading my favourite books.
The Orthodox saints will sustain me I trust.
And I do have a tremendous capacity for solitude.
I would like to ask you all though (and yes I know the answer to this sort of thing is usually negative) – has anyone ever heard of separated or divorced men who have been able to become monks or if not monks in some way attached to religious houses. Does this sort of thing ever happen in Orthodoxy. I have heard of a few stories. I have a vocation in this regard and I would like to think that by some miracle one day something might be possible.
Advice and prayers would be most welcome.
What am embarrassing story!
Kit

Melissa
20-04-2004, 09:08 PM
Dear Kit,
By the grace of God you overcame enough of your embarrassment to reach out to others. Despair not, God is with you.
Others will respond about the details in a way I cannot, but I will be happy to add my poor prayers to those of the many who are sustaining you.
Sometimes we appear to lose all, for Christ. If you are getting guidance from a priest, listen with your heart.
May God bless you, your wife, and your children throughout -
In Christ,
Melissa

matt
20-04-2004, 09:55 PM
Dear Kit,
I am sorry to hear of your situation and I will be praying for everyone. Are you attending a parish currently? That would be the best thing I think for now. Talking to a priest and getting into a community (either back to the RCC or becoming Orthodox) where you can receive the sacraments is very critical, especially during such trying times of instability. Besides, one of the hallmarks of the monastic life is being under obedience to a spiritual father, so this would be a good dfirst step in testing you vocation. And perhaps you and your wife will be able to reconcile, especially when the children are young.

Regarding you question about divorce and monasticism, I do remember reading "Pearl of Great Price: The Life of Mother Matia Skobtsova, 1891-1945" which details her troubled and heroic life. She may have been canonized already or at least in the works.
matt