God bless my Children... but grant me patience!

[Heather Morinelli]

Hi everyone---
As you may well know, I am a mother of two. I love them very much. But sometimes I get very frustrated with them during church. (THis is putting it VERY nicely.)
What I was wondering, is if there are any Liturgy books out there specifically for children. My son is 8, and my daughter is 5. Keep in mind the age-appropriateness....
Does anyone have any pointers to help me help them along their road to salvation too?

Here's a cute story too---on the Sunday morning of Pascha---my daughter woke me up, looking very excited. She said to me,"MOMMA, WAKE UP!! Today's the day!! The day Jesus came back!" You should've seen the brightness is her little brown eyes...BUt I was thinking, what a thing it would be, if I could wake up every morning with that same kind of joy that she had that day. Ready to serve Christ---instead of just wanting another 30 minutes of sleep....

Thanks so much-----heather

[Br Paul Zimmerman]

Christ is Risen!
Heather,
I know of no Orthodox Childrens Books on the Liturgy, but that doesnt say there is none around in the world. I only know of R.C. childrens book. Some one out in the world will know.
You are so blessed with those Angels of yours and you can learn so much from them. Keep up your prayers and love for your children.
Br Paul

[dianne marie debs]

Dear Heather,

God Bless you and your children.
I am a mother of five and thank God my children are now actually letting me pray when I am in church!!!
It will come don't worry. A good idea is to give the kids some kind of job, if possible. Maybe holding a prayer book for you or helping out in any way.When they start to feel they are responsible and are actually participating, they will be more willing to sit quietly.

Jesus told us we would have to become like children. The simple words your daughter said were full of Grace. My two younger boys have both on different occasions said they saw the wings of angels during Holy Liturgy.
Hallelluja...wouldn't it be wonderful to have a child's gift of humbleness and simpleness.

God Bless them.
Christ Is Risen.
A humble mother,
Dianne

[Heather Morinelli]

Dear Dianne...

THanks so much for your response. I appreciate any advice....and what you say makes a lot of sense...I have to say, that when I give my son the prayer book we have (that also has the Divine Liturgy in it, as well as several other special services and prayers) that his attention span increases immeasurably. His teacher at school is trying to imply to me that he may have ADHD...I'm not sure though.
My kids get into a kind of "love contest" during Church. They both start clinging to me and hanging on me, pulling on my clothes. Then my son starts wanting to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes...But this is only on a bad day...I try to remember that we all have our good and bad days....I'm afraid they may be teaching me more than I'm teaching them in a way...
They both have been having difficulties with nightmares lately. My daughter has dreams about "devils" she says. And my son has dreams about fire....I hate this for them. Do you have any advice?

....heather

[John Wilson]

Christos Anesti! Christ is Risen!

We have a children's book and audio cassette titled "Avrio einai Kyriaki" (Tomorrow is Sunday) which explains a lot of things, basically following a family's preparations for Sunday, from the baking of the prosfora onwards. Unfortunately for you it is only in Greek as far as I know. I recall that there are a couple of books by Sister Magdalen of the Stavropegic Monastery of St. John the Baptist. Essex, U.K. One is CHILDREN IN THE ORTHODOX CHURCH TODAY and I believe the other is CONVERSATIONS WITH CHILDREN, COMMUNICATING OUR FAITH. I suspect that you may find them useful.
If you do get in touch with Sister Magdalen, perhaps you could suggest she write a book for aiding parents in explaining the Divine Liturgy (I'm sure many parents would learn a lot from it also http://www.monachos.net/mb/clipart/wink.gif).
A quick google search has turned up the text of the first book in two locations, unfortunately both in Russian http://www.monachos.net/mb/clipart/sad.gif

My own daughters are nine and six years old and my son is nine months, so I can appreciate what you are going through (it could have easily been me making your initial post)

John.

[Effie Ganatsios]

Heather wrote :
“They both have been having difficulties with nightmares lately. My daughter has dreams about "devils" she says. And my son has dreams about fire....I hate this for them. Do you have any advice? “

Heather, the following excerpt is from an article found on the OCA site – Family Life section. I don’t have the URL but I’ll find it for you.

”… Jesus said, "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them, for to such belongs the Kingdom of God." (Matt. 19:14) We as parents, have this awesome responsibility in directing our children to God.

How can we do so?

First of all, St. Seraphim's words come to mind. "Save yourself and thousands will be saved around you." The best place to begin is with oneself. We must be examples for our children. As St. Paul says, "...in speech, love, faith, and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe." Instead of always preaching to our children, our very life must be the expression of our Faith. Our love for our children must be sustained and sanctified by our love for Christ, and this love, the very Source of Life, must extend to all those around us.

Second, we can form daily habits to enrich our family lives and bring us closer not only to one another, but to our God.

Establishing Daily Habits

The first of these daily habits, which can supplement our morning prayers, is to begin each day, upon rising from bed, by making the sign of the cross and saying, "This is the day which the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it."
Lighting the vigil lamp (which stands in front of the icon in the dining area) before meals is another daily ritual which most children love. If they are not old enough to light the lamp themselves, they can take turns blowing out the match and extinguishing the lamp's flame after the meal. A prayer before every meal ought to be the norm. This prayer can be the Lord's Prayer or the hymn of the feast day celebrated during that week. An appropriate closing prayer, such as "We give thanks to Thee, 0 Christ Our God...," the kontakion of the weekly feast, or at least making the sign of the cross should be encouraged regularly. Since children are naturally musical, these prayers can be sung when possible to enhance the experience of praising God.

Bedtime is always a wonderful time to share Bible stories and lives of the saints with our children. Personalize the saints' lives to include each child's patron saint. Have a patronal icon for each member of the family and be present with the entire family when it is blessed by the priest. This helps the child to know his saint as a friend, one who is always interceding before the Lord on his behalf.

Night is often a scary time for children. We can explain to them that they are never alone. Not only is God with them, but so is their patron saint as well as their guardian angel, watching over each of them and protecting them. Thus, when a child is afraid, we can encourage him to call upon God, his patron saint and his guardian angel to help him not be afraid.

Bible stories can be paraphrased in simple language and told enthusiastically to your youngsters. If possible, try to follow the church calendar of daily readings for your selection of a Bible story on a given night. With younger children, the focus can simply be on the Sunday Gospel and Epistle reading. As a means of introduction, as well as reinforcement, the reading can be discussed daily on the week prior to that Sunday reading….”


There is lots of good, practical advice for mothers with young children at this site.

Effie

[Effie Ganatsios]

Heather, in response to one of your previous messages in which you said you felt lonely, might I send you by personal e-mail an article about a group of Orthodox women with young children in the US who had the same problems as you have and the methods they used to help themselves?

It’s very important to have a network of like-thinking women friends who can support and help you, not only practically but spiritually as well. For young working mothers there doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to do even the necessary tasks that need to be done, let alone have time to spend with friends. That’s another of the wonders of the Internet – you can spend a quiet hour or two after the children are asleep “conversing” with cyber friends. That doesn’t mean that you should neglect personal relationships – is there a close neighbour who can fill the role of friend and confidante for you? An advantage and disadvantage of living in Greece is the lively social life that goes on here – the word “privacy” does not exist in the Greek language (there is literally no such word!). Even if you want to be alone here it’s next to impossible – woman are very friendly, but at the same time tactful about it. The positive side to this is that you can develop warm, close friendships over a period of time with special people who are always there for you. A couple of years ago I needed to have an operation (I broke my ankle in 3 places and my calf bone in two – I don’t do anything by halves !!) and I couldn’t walk for about 3 months. My family in Australia were terribly upset because they thought that I was here on my own and had no-one to help me. No problem!!!! My husband’s family was superb, as were all my friends and acquaintances. I felt truly humble and thought that a broken bone or two were well worth it just to realize the amount of love that exists all around us – love that we don’t realize is there for the taking.

Effie

[Heather Morinelli]

Dear Effie--

Greece sounds very beautiful. My daughter's godmother-to-be is in Greece right now. She is there for the one year anniversary of her husband's repose. She will be naming my daughter after her husband. It's hard for me to imagine a life apart from my own. I've never left American soil. Maybe one day....
Unfortunately I have no close friends. I had a very difficult childhood--i was (and still am) painfully shy, and was very awkward--very skinny, with glasses...i was a late-bloomer, which added to my difficulties. Children can be so cruel. Then of course came problems with boys...I was sexually harassed throughout junior high and high school by several different guys. These were only the start...I later married a verbally and physically abusive man, but left him four years ago. Through all of this it has been difficult to gain and maintain any true friendships. Probably because of some personal flaw of my own. The only true friends that I have is my sister, and one childhood friend that I am still in contact with...but they both live in a different part of the country.
I don't know why these things happened...(and believe me there is so much more to the story...I have spared you the truly sad details) but my sister and I were talking just the other night about how the Lord has His own timing. And perhaps some things are allowed to happen to ready our hearts to receive His Truth. And then God takes the bad and turns them for the good. If this is the case, then glory be to God that I was allowed to see some hardship...which when I look back...I am truly blessed because even though I don't have a multitude of friends, the ones that I do have...they mean so much to me.
Thank you so much Effie for your thoughts and concerns for me and my family.
Please say a prayer for us the next time you remember us...
with much love,
heather

[Effie Ganatsios]

Thank you Heather for telling me the above.

Greece is naturally beautiful but it has been made ugly in parts by disorganized municipal planning – Greeks have many fine qualities, but unfortunately organization is not one of them. I live in a very beautiful area – my house is on the side of a hill with a pine forest on three sides and a view that is truly spectacular – miles and miles of valley, a lake in the distance, and then a mountain range - I can see Mt. Olympus on clear days!!! I love living here – my soul is at peace.

I had a very happy childhood in Australia, Heather. A loving family, a good environment etc. Problems? Yes, but just the ordinary ones.

Is everything luck or are the things that happen to us meant to be. I read a message (one of the beautiful ones that Fr. Averky writes) about things that are meant to be and I really believe this because this is what I think has happened in my life. I married a truly wonderful man (also the most handsome man I had ever seen!!! Sorry, couldn’t resist that!) and when we came to Greece (he had health problems due to Victoria’s humid climate) we discovered that he was my father’s third cousin!!! I still can’t get over what an extraordinary co-incidence this is – my father died when I was very young and that’s why we weren’t aware of this relationship in Australia. We have been married nearly 35 years and have been truly happy. God has blessed us, I think.

Nothing in life is ideal but I believe that you have to fight to see the positive aspects of your life – I miss my family so much sometimes but then I look around me, see the wonders of my life and am content. From the contents of your messages I see that you are a fighter. Good for you.

Please contact me by personal e-mail if you like.

Effie

Can I add a quotation about friendship?

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.-Ralph Waldo Emerson (one of my favourite writers).

[John Kapetan]

Hi Heather:
As far as the childrens books, have you tried out www.paschabooks.com (http://www.paschabooks.com). If you need more bookstore sites, I can get some more. They seem to have quite a few childrens books. Both service related (like the liturgy/prayer books) or just religious education.

In Christ,

John k

[Heather M]

THank you John---any links or names of resources you have are much appreciated!

I would like to mention a website that has helped me out bit lately---in case anyone else is interested. It is www.OrthodoxFamily.com (http://www.OrthodoxFamily.com)
There is lots of helpful advice and articles there---The website is still under some construction.

[Charalambos Andrew Geo]

hello heather, its harryortho or harry,
Thankyou for directing me to this site as i have gained from it, hope all will fair better with you, i sometimes see sister Magdalene at the monastery, my spiritual father is there, it is a wonderful place,
if you want i will try to remember to ask them something on your behalf
By the way is there a youth community there at your parish and if so what are the age, at my church we are trying to increase the no. of people in the age group 16-25 there is not a great deal of us, I put a thread on it in the casual talk so if you or anyone could advise, it would be appreicated, any ideas or experiences?if this is a wrong message or a wrong topic included, sorry,

In Christ
Harry

[Heather M]

Hi Harry.
I am so glad to see you here! I hope things are well with you. My Baptism is coming up now...June 29th. Please say a little prayer for me if you remember.
No, there aren't a lot of youth in my parish. Sorry that I'm not of much help in this area. There seems to be a huge gap in the ages in my church...it's very interesting, now that I think about it.
It sounds like you are keeping very busy...How did that award you were working for turn out? I've kept you in my prayers.
--the sinful heather

[Fr Averky]

Beloved in the Lord heather,

You are not alone - just look at the love and kind words that you have received from Effie and others. In Orthodoxy, we do nothing "alone:" we do not sin alone, and we do not suffer alone. Those of us who have gotten to know you since you joined our community see your heroic and lonely struggle, and we pray for you and we are concerned for you.

My father died when I was les than a year old, but all in all, I had a happy childhood, for my mother and sisters and brothers doted on me. As years went on, we had less money, but my mother sent me to good schools and I wanted for nothing. Yet, I experienced much loneliness, and have always felt the loss of not having had a father. God sends what He sends, and our eternal life rests upon how e will handle what He sends, for we always have a choice.

The most wonderful thing has happened to you Heather -you have found Holy Orthodoxy. As it says at the end of the Divine Liturgy, "We have seen the Light, we have found the true Faith, worshipping the Holy Trinity, which has saved us." Of all the millions upon millions of people on earth, God has brought you and your children to Himself in a most wonderful way: attaining that goal has been lonely and difficult, but I assure you, when you are Baptized, you will see everything with new spiritual eyes. You will experience the Grace of Holy Baptism, and you will be a new person, a person who has put on Christ! I know that I can speak for Effie and all the other Orthodox members of this community that we will rejoice with you. That you have had to struggle is a good sign, for nothing worth having does not come with out effort and tears.

No, Heather, you are not alone, you belong to our Orthodox family, and we will welcome you as our young sister, sharing in your new joy, and in whatever sorrows might come along. Listen to the wise words of Effie, for she has been Orthodox all of her life - she is a wife, a mother, and a teacher. She will be of great help to you, I am sure. As the date grows closer, be sure to remind us, so that we can congratulate you on that most joyous day!

Lovingly yours in Christ,

Father Averky