Prayer Requests and Concerns

[Nik Stanosheck]

Dear all,

Today we found out that our priest was laid off from his secular job. This is a tragedy in itself with our part of Connecticut being very expensive to live in, but the background story makes it even more sad.

The massive layoffs come from Sikorsky, the famous helicopter maker. Ivan Sikorsky founded this company and also our church. So the company Ivan Sikorsky founded fired the priest of the church he founded. How sad is that?

I would ask that you all pray that he find good paying employment and for his family, (we have a married priest with a large family) as they are quite distressed over this unfortunate turn of events.

[Oana Vlad]

Dear friends,

It`s about a mother I know. She lost her 18-year-old daughter last year and ever since she had a great depression; last week she tried to kill herself. She didn`t succeed and now she`s in a psy clinic. Her husband suffered a lot too both physically and spiritually.They have one more son, but they loved this girl so much that they can`t recover from her loss. Especially the mother is revolted against God, because He took her daughter from her. Therefore she can`t get any consolation, even if her friends are trying hard to help her find a reason for living.
There is a lot of suffering in this family. They used to be happy and now they`re on the verge of destroying themselves. I tried to get many people praying for them because they need it badly. Even if it`s just a small thought or supplication to the Lord, if it`s done with love, it would help.

May God grant them inner healing by the power of His love.

Oana

[Fr Averky]

Dear Oana,

Thank you, and God bless you for your concern for these poor suffering folk. What a tragedy it is for a parent to bury a child. May the Most Pure Mother of God soothe her broken heart. I am sure that all of us who will read your request will join our prayers to yours. May I be bold to suggest that you pray to St. John of Shanghai and San Franciso, a truly amazing saint, for he worked so many miracles for so many who sought his intercession, both while he was living, long after his death, and now after his canonization. He has helped so many desperate ones, and I am sure, he will help this terribly sad family.

If you wish, you may contact me privately.

with much concern and prayers,

Hieromonk Averky

[Sandra June Hofstead]

Dear Oana,
I surely will pray for this family also. I have a dear friend whose son died suddenly almost one year ago and she still feels very bad some days; as if she failed as a parent.
Sandy

[George Hawkins]

Dear Oana,
my thoughts and prayers, too, are with this family. It is so hard to lose a child, my brother reposed 14 years ago now, but I know how hard it still is for my parents (and myself).

With love in Christ
George

[Fr Averky]

Beloved in the Lord,
Thomas:

Yes, I must admit, it is I who you see in the picture on our parish web-site in Hawaii. I never had the least desire to even see Hawaii, and ended up going here seven times! I spent three months there in 1996, and crowned the couple in marriage that I am standing with. The story behind the picture that you see is quite lovely.

There is a monastic story about a young novice who went to see one of the very old and ascetic elders in his monastery. Prostrating before him in respect, the young man asked the holy elder," Holy Father, it is so difficult for me to pray without distraction; how many years will it take before I can pray without being befuddled by foolish, evil, or empty thoughts? The venerable old monk was quiet for a little while, and then looking tenderly at the young struggler, he said to him "My dear child, I have been in this place for seven decades, struggling and begging forgiveness for my sins. To this very day, I war against distractions by the Evil One, yet now, I am accustomed to them, don't let them bother me, and pray in peace."

What is important Thomas, is that we continue to pray. St. John of Kronstadt says that when we are saying the given prayers of the Church, and notice that we have just read a prayer with little attention, we should simply read it again, this time thinking about what we are reading. He also suggests that after the prayers given us by the Church, we should spend time quietly saying our own pesonal prayers. I have many lovely old icons all around my cell, and during the day, I will lift my gaze to them, looking upon their gentle, yet all-knowing faces, sighing and telling my Saviour, His Most Pure Mother and His wondrous Saints all my concerns, doubts, fears, sharing with them the events of the day, and offering my poor prayers for the many who have asked me to pray for them.

Thomas, I am sure you are doing well: remain firm in your faith, pure in your heart, sincere in your prayers, and strive with all your being to love God, and especially your neighbor. He sees your good efforts, and graciously receives and blesses them. Take time to pray whenever you can during the day, even if for a minute or two, and it will strengthen and comfort you, opening your heart to God's love and grace.

Thomas, I know that I will never get well, or even get better, but your prayers and those of so many others are very precious to me. I am always happy to see your name on this message board, and you can contact me personally any time, for the door of my heart is always open to you.

Much love in Christ,

Hieromonk Averky

[George Hawkins]

Dearest Fr Averky,
Please never say never. If it is God's will then surely you will recover your health. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I ask your blessing.
In Christ
George

[Thomas Garland]

Dear Fr Averky,

Bless you for your love and perceptiveness, and for your advice!

I often feel presumptuous and hypocritical contributing my own thoughts to discussions on this community, when I see the real spiritual depth, or compendious knowledge of the faith of so many of the other contributors!

Yet, curiously, and perhaps your own prayers are being efficacious here, I feel that seeing my own 'advice' in print in the preceding discussion, with the kind responses of others, is forcing me to look more closely at my own practice in prayer.

Perhaps it is my Western background, but I do find it quite difficult to focus on God in my own home, compared with being in a specifically 'holy place' - a church, monastery or pilgrimage site, say. I too have some lovely ikons (though no old ones!) and they are always 'in the background' of my attention, whatever I am doing - I might give a quick veneration as I pass one on my daily business, or perhaps I am sitting doing something banal and for no apparent reason my attention is drawn to an ikon for a moment or two. On very rare occasions, when I have been able to pray in a very concentrated way - for example, when my little god-daughter was very ill just after being born - I have had a very real sense, not just of St Thomas praying for and with me, but that he is acting as a sort of 'conduit' direct to the Throne of God.

But I'm afraid my regular prayers end up being a very perfunctory matter! I was aware of St John of Kronstadt's advice that you quoted, but I fear I would be forever stuck on the first line of the first prayer!

However, I am coming to realise that, as you say, the way to God is very long and that the assaults of the Devil are perhaps a sign of progress rather than of failure - or certainly the awareness of his assualts. I was reading this afternoon St Nikolai Velimirovic&#39;s <u>Prayers from the Lake</u>, No LXV, in which he suggests that the reason there are so many unclean spirits compared with clean spirits is that the unclean ones are so weak and need to be legion in order to have any effect.

While it is easier, as I say, to focus my attention in a church, that still doesn&#39;t mean my thoughts don&#39;t stray in a holy place, not by any means! But here I found it useful to experience the &#39;chotky&#39; devotion at the Monastery of St John the Baptist, Tolleshunt Knights &#40;which I have mentioned elsewhere in this community&#41; - standing, kneeling, even sitting in the darkened church as someone more holy than me recites the Prayer of the Heart is rather like hiding in a remote corner of Heaven and dipping in from time to time into the eternal prayer offered before the Throne of God by the angels and saints. And I think this can apply to praying before the holy ikons, too - it doesn&#39;t necessarily matter what you say, if anything at all, as the saints depicted in the ikons are praying eternally anyway, so perhaps you can just &#39;dip in&#39; for a few moments, or minutes.

Anyway, off to think about trying to put into practice what I &#39;preach&#39;!

I join with George in praying that you may indeed recover from your troubles, but, if that is not God&#39;s will, at least that he will relieve you of any suffering - I think you said once that you had a lot of pain.

with love,

Thomas

[Fr Averky]

Thomas,

Thank you for your kind response. A good insight - that temptations by the demons can be seen as doing the right thing, for we were not, they would leave us alone. Here in the U.S. we have many televangelists, particulary on TBN, which most likely broadcasts to the British Isles. they never speak of sin, or temptation, or struggle, or people&#39;s problems. All is so wonderful, and they speak merrily of being &#34;saved,&#34; how wonderful their lives are, openly bragging about being &#34;blessed by prosperity.&#34; One can only fear for their souls, for they have no idea what spiritual danger they are in, and what is worse, how they are leading others to perdition.

Our first &#34;church&#34; is our home. In Russian practice, each family has an icon corner, where are to be found the family icons, the Holy Gospel, prayer books, and so on. The pious family begins and ends the day praying together here, in their family church. Before meals, standing and facing an icon, they sing the &#34;Our Father,&#34; followed by the blessing, and &#34;We thank Thee O Christ Our God...&#34; after meals. The family gathers together at tike of sorrows, when there is illness, doubts and fears. they gather together to rejoice, when good news has been received, when someone has arrived from a journey safely, or one who was sick has been healed. The family is a micrcosm of the Church - the father and mother, Crowned by the Church as the head and heart of their Christian, community, lead by piety, prayer, and good example, striving to bring their small &#34;Parish&#34;, themselves and their children to the fear and love of God, thence to salvation. The home, Thomas, is a Holy Place, it is where your heart dwells, it is that place where you can speak to God as in no other place

Fr. Anthony Coniaris, in his wonderful book, &#34;Introducing the Orthodox Church,&#34; makes the profound remark when discussing &#34;processions&#34; in Orthodox worship, that the first procession that we make on Sunday morning is when we get in the car and go to church, taking our bodies and souls to partake in the Divine Liturgy and the Holy Mysteries, and the last, is when we leave church after Divine Liturgy, taking the message of the Gospel into the world and into our lives, and the lives of others.

Our heart is that best place to pray, which Our Saviour Himself tell sus when condemning those who make a public show of fasting. St Theohpan the Recluse says, &#34;How can you find God in the mind, that rag market? Go into the depths of your heart, and there you will find Him.&#34; I have not heard of the &#34;chotky&#34; devotion, and it sounds like a quiet and peace-giving experience. Yet, I rather suspect, Thomas, that God is so much more pleased when you have prayed to Him yourself, even after much distraction and difficulty. conversely from what St. John of Kronstadt says concering reading a prayer read with inattention again, he also says that, &#34;It is better to say a few prayers well, than lots of prayers badly.&#34;

One of our greatest problems is that of time. We are always in a rush, and yer seem to have less and les time. Microwaves, computers, cell phones, all devices intended to save time are no help at all. The microwave oven is the greatest enemie of the family unit, for women run off to the gymn or whatever activity, and the children and father are expected to come home and &#34;pop&#34; something into the oven. the family supoer, that chance to share the day&#39;s experiences is a thing of the past. Sad to say, here in the U.S., companies like Oneida Silver, Ltd. are laying off vast numbers of employees because American eat all kinds of &#34;finger foods&#34;, and almost never use eating utensils!

Thomas, as a priest, one of the most painful things I have to bear when hearing confessions is words, uttered most casually, amost as an afteer thought, &#34; &#34;And..., Oh, yes, and I have little time to say prayers, I am either too rushed in the morning, or too tired at night. I always intend to say them, but I kind of forget...&#34; I always wanted to ask, and how many bars have you closed in your life, and how many times have you gotten up to go hunting or fishing, or to leave early for a foot ball game? One day, there will be no more time, God will demand our soul of us, and perhaps in those last hours or minutes we will panic and cry out &#34;Lord, wait wait, a few more hours, I understand now! Queen Elizabeth I of England&#39;s last words were: &#34;All my treasures for five more minutes.&#34; Make that time, Thomas, find time for God, no matter what the distractions might be, for it is time well-spent, for it is time ultimately, that is for you! Speaking of time, again, I have gone on too long. Thank you for your love and concern for me.

Prayerfully yours,

Hieromonk Averky

[Effie Ganatsios]

Reply to Thomas

Thomas, what helps me when I’m praying is a prayer rope. Mine has 50 knots - 25 knots on each side separated by a black bead at the top and a cross at the bottom. It was made in Mt. Athos.

I start on the first knot after the cross and say the Jesus prayer at each knot, breathing in and out very slowly. When I reach the black bead, again breathing in and out slowly I recite Psalm 23. I continue with the Jesus prayer for the knots on the other side and I then recite the Lord’s Prayer when I come to the cross.

There are also special prayers that I say in the morning and others at night. You have to find a system that works for you. I can’t look at an icon and pray because the icon distracts me. I find I concentrate better when I close my eyes and recite the above.

My husband’s routine is to get up in the morning and, after his morning shower, stand in front of the iconostasi, cross himself and say his prayers silently. He does this just before he goes to bed at night as well.

I also sing a lot – psalms and various prayers and hymns that I know. I also sing a lot of Protestant hymns – I don’t know whether that is considered by the Orthodox to be wrong or not but words of love, faith and adoration of God cannot be wrong in my opinion. Two of my favourites are “ I walk in the Garden alone, when the dew is still on the roses” and “Amazing Grace”. I have a large garden myself with an enclosed rose garden and I love working in it. I also sing when I’m working – as our house is on top of a hill with a panoramic view of the Aliakmon Lake Valley and a pine forest on 3 sides of it not many people pass during the day so I don’t have a reputation yet of being eccentric!

The purity of our hearts is what matters.

Effie

Father Averky, if you don&#39;t mind, I&#39;d like your opinion on whether my attitude towards Protestant hymns is OK or not.

Effie

[Thomas Garland]

Dear Fr Averky & Effie,

Very many thanks for your advice. Forgive me if I don&#39;t say much more at the moment - my ancient computer is packing up, and I may have to drop out of circulation for a bit while I get it repaired! I suppose I shouldn&#39;t be using a discussion group for personal advice anyway!

with love,

Thomas

[Fr Averky]

Dear in Christ Thomas,

With Holy Week soon upon us, perhaps it would be better for all of us to close down our computers until after Pascha. As to &#34;using a discussion group for personal advice,&#34; the community provides a forum in which people from different Orthodox Churches and non-Orthodox as well can exhange ideas, concerns, opinions, ask for prayers and sometimes diaagree. I have not wanted so much to give personal spiritual advice, but to try to answer questions in a general, pastoral manner, taking that which I have gained from my own experience over many years. As I said to you before, Thomas, I appreciate what you have to say, and your contributions are meaningful and well thought out. Each member of the community has the possibility of teaching, challenging, or touching the hearts of every other member. As I mentioned earlier, if I can help you about any matter you deem personal, do not hesitate to contact me. God bless you, and please keep in touch with me.

With love in Christ,

Hieromonk Averky

[Fr Averky]

Dear in Christ Effie,

Since I am not your spiritual father, and do know know your heart, I can only give an answer based on previous situations of a somewhat similar nature.
I was raised a Roman Catholic, so I have had almost no exposure to Protestant hymns. However, popular hymns, like &#34;Amazing Grace, are familiar to most of us, and I would say, are generally harmless to sing.[ About 25 years ago, some well-meaning Russian sent us a version of the Heruvikon set to Amazing Grace - rather than sounding spiritual in quality, it was, unfortunately, a cause for mirth] Singing such hymns can become dangerous when a person starts to say in his heart, &#34;You know, these non-Orthodox are Christians, they believe in Jesus, after all we all believe in the same God, don&#39;t we?&#34; When I served a small misssion group in Mobile Alabama in l984, I visted the beautiful Greek Orthodox Cathedral and had the pleasure of meeting the priest. He told me that he had asked for a transfer to a diocese in the North, because his Presbytera nad children were being so infected by the local Baptists, that they had begun to sing Protestant hymns, and his wife had actually started to callenge some teachings of the Orthodox Church because they were not &#34;in the Bible!&#34;

Whenever we involve ourselves in something which is not within the Tradition of Holy Orthodoxy, we have to be most careful. About a month ago, a very kind and sincere man posted his personal story in which he spoke of having practised a form of yoga for years, but had come back to Christianity. while being into yoga, he said a Hindu mantra for five or six hours each morning. When he started to be a Christian again, he substituted his mantra with the Jesus Prayer, and I tried in vain to convince him that for him it could be very spiritually dangerous. Just be very careful Effie.

To be very honest, the fact that you cannot look upon a Holy icon and pray, finding it to be a &#34;distraction&#34;, concerns me very much. Icons are so very much a part of Orthodox ethos, the Church fought valiantly to defend their use for veneration, both in the church and in the Orthodox Christian home, that it seems to be that there is a subtle temptation of the Evil One keeping you from looking at them when praying alone. We always tell our people to stand in church during all divine services and look upon the holy icons, for they tell us the blessed story of the birth, life, death and Resurrection of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus christ. We gaze upon the tender icons of the Most Pure Mother of God Mother of the church, and our Mother, we are inspired by the icons of the Holy Martyrs, Apostles, Prophets, and the Holy Angels, that &#34;Cloud of witnesses,&#34; who stand in heaven cheering us onto victory, unto Salvation. In the home too, the holy icons are the presence of the Divine, for Christ, His Mother and our heavenly patrons, look out from them with solemn love and concern, making us mindful of our goal in this life - life eternal. Come to know the icons, they are so important for your life- for life is prayer!

I have many old an beautiful Russian icons and in the dim light of the icon lamp, the silver and gold of their metal covers gives off a soft warm gloe, and their faces, with a play of so many emotions, sterness, love, mercy, and quiet peace gaze out into the room, something of Heaven here with us on earth. Looking at them I feel secure and loved, knowing that God does exist and that as I look at Him, He looks at me, and I can open my heart and my mouth and tell Him everything, pouring out my sighs and my sorrows, my joys, and my concern and prayers for the many , many who have asked me in my unworthiness to pray for them. Oh Effie, you are depriving yourself of one of God&#39;s great mercies, for as an Old Russian priest once said, &#34;We venerate the most holy icons, because the Second Person of the Holy Trinity became Man, and we have seen Him with our eyes, touched Him with our hands, kissed Him with our lips.&#34;

I also caution you to approach the Jesus Prayer with awe and fear. I know that it is common Greek custom for nearly everyone to have and use a komboskinion, whereas the Russians may only do so under the direction of spiritual father.Saying your own &#34;special prayers,&#34; can be good, but personal prayers must be said in conjuction with the prayers of the Orthodox Church, for the Church offers her prayers to God as a Whole, not as a group of scattered people, each with his own idea as to what the &#34;church&#34; and &#34;truth&#34; means for him. Unlike the Protestants, we are not a group of totally independeant individuals who can interpret the Holy scriptures, teach, preach, or pray as we think we should or want. As Orthodox Christians, we are part of One body, the Body of Christ, and we don&#39;t make up as we go along. I can assure you, to do so can be very dangerous.

I really think that you need to find a Ieronda with whom you can speak about regarding not being able to look upon an icon and pray, for there is something there that is not quite right. Please forgive me if I have offended you, but since you asked me a question, while I did answer about hymns, I could not let a far more serious matter go left unattended. We were given free will, Effie, but that does not give us a sort of &#34;freedom&#34; found in a democratic system of government, and we cannot make up our own idea of what the Church and what its prayer life might be.

Effie, be assured of my most heart felt prayers for your salvation. Sing your hymns when you are taking care of your garden or cooking or cleaning, but not as part of your Orthodox prayers, for it could cause you spiritual confusion.

Again, I most humbly make a metania and ask your forgiveness if I have offended you, but I had to say what I have said, for I wish nothing more than for to yoy to be saved. God bless you, and please pray for my unworthiness.

In Christ,

Hieromonk Averky

[Effie Ganatsios]

Thank you Father Averky.

Let me think about what you have written and meditate on it. I&#39;d like to reply after Easter if I may.

When I look at an icon, it&#39;s not that I dislike what I see, quite the contrary. I have a beautiful icon of the Panagia &#40;the Virgin Mary&#41; and child on my bedside table and when I look at it I start to think various things about her - how pure of heart she must have been to have been chosen by God to bear Jesus, how she must have watched him grow up with both pride and fear, how she must have suffered at the end. That&#39;s the reason I said I can&#39;t pray formally when I look at an icon. When I go to church and genuflect in front of the icons I also silently say a prayer. Forgive me for not making myself clear on this point.

Thank you again for taking the time to think about my query concerning Protestant hymns. I don&#39;t have a spiritual father but I have been thinking about it for a long time. A saintly priest has been recommended by a good friend but I haven&#39;t telephoned for an appointment because most of my concerns seem quite petty and I think I would feel awkward repeating them to such a holy person.


Effie

[Effie Ganatsios]

Fr. Averky, just one more thing. I just reread your message and your advice about formal prayers. My morning and evening prayers are those of the Orthodox prayer book. I pray with my prayer rope just before I go to sleep - in fact it&#39;s usually in my hands when I fall asleep.

Thank you again and please bear with me. I was born Greek Orthodox but I am afraid that I am still just a baby in the faith. I have so many faults that only my sincere desire to have a closer relationship with God keeps me from giving up in disgust at myself.

Effie

[Fr Averky]

Dear Effie,

Thank you for you answer, and for not taking offense. As I said, I don&#39;t know you, and just want to look out for your spiritual welfare, in my limited way. Never, ever think that your concerns are &#34;petty,&#34; for the need of every Child of God is important to Him and to those priests he has given the grace to see to these needs.

Your answer releived me greatly -forgive me, but the Evil One, like a viscious wolf desires to devour Christ&#39;s precious Sheep and you are one of them. If I over-reacted, it was like a parent seeing his child of two suddenly running towards a busy street - what seems like anger is loving fear and concern.

When you say your prayers, pray for me. We learn all of our lives Effie, and be patient, there is so much more good to come!

In Christ,

Hieromonk Averky