Scary books and movies

[Maria Murray]

I am new to this site but I have been wondering about this issue for a long time. I have children that get scared when reading books about ghosts (believe it or not, from a public school!) and eerie things, and some shows my husband watches can disturb them. Actually, I find some of them disturbing too. I am not talking anything horror, but even simple popular shows like 24. I don't know if it's just my personality to get easily disturbed by things on TV, even the news can get me upset and the popular shows where someone is killed etc. just make me irritated and negative for the rest of the day. They make me think about all the evil in the world and despair. This is why I almost never watch TV, but I realize that I cannot shelter my children from the world. My question is this: are scary books and movies just entertainment, from the Orthodox perspective? Or is it spiritually destructive? Perhaps just a waste of time? My husband insists that it is purely entertainment and drama and wants me to change my mind so I can watch it with him. I am hoping someone has some thoughts on this.

[Fr Seraphim (Black)]

This is not really my area of expertise. However, I have some reflections on this. When I was born it was only a few years after that that television was introduced into my native country, Canada. At that time, of course, the televison shows were in black and white, the screen itself was very small, and the two or three stations, said 'good night' at 10 pm. I do not remember much of televison from my childhood because it was a limited experience, due to technology.

Now that I have passed over thirty years away from any media - newspapers, radio, televison etc., I do at times find myself confronted with television as it is today. Why is this? Due to my health, in large measure, I am able to see what is occuring and the utterly massive change, since my childhood.

I would say this from an Orthodox perspective, and it is my opinion alone. 'Scary books and movies (and televison, modern music videos, computer game sets' are not neutral. Whenever I have ventured out of the monastery for medical appointments, my alarm has only over the years increased.

I remember distinctly on a visit to a doctor staying with some acquaintances. One evening they suggested we go to the movie theatre to see a recent and very popular film. I don't remember the year, perhaps the early 80's. The film was called 'Midnight Express' basically about a young American 'busted' by Turkish customs with hashish strapped to his body.

I left the theatre absolutely horrified, so much so, that my acqaintances noticed and enquired what was wrong. I replied: "There was something very wrong with that film and the experience of it."

Years later, just a few days away from the hesychia of Athos, I saw a film adaption of George Orwells' 1984. This was in Greece, with Greek subtitles.

It was overwhelming, too much so - the rapidity of the images, the distortion of colour - the book was well known to me, as I had read it in my adolescence - this film was an entirely different adaptation.

The problem as I see it, is that media has become so overwhelming and so pervasive that it is nothing less than an addiction. Here in Canada now, you can purchase massive 'home theatre systems' which run into thousands of dollars. Why? So you can witness your life pass away in front of a 72" screen?

For parents, with young children, one is basically 'stuck between a rock and a hard place.' If the children are not aware of current trends, they are ostracized at school, which is very troublesome at an age when peer groups and friendship are so vital.

What is an Orthodox parent to do? It is not easy and my heart burns with sorrow. Every where I look I see trinkets and distractions. Yet young people invest their lives into them. They are in many respects innocent victims, because the operations behind this, are in business to 'create a market, attract the market, and generate monetary value' and we are talking millions of dollars per annum.

When I came back from Romania, I was confronted with Hallowen. Someone pulled out 'for decoration' a string of plastic skulls. My immediate reaction was: 'this is demonic.' When I voiced this opinion to the adults, they felt I was way overboard, that Hallowen is a joyful occasion for the children and 'ghosts and goblins' are harmless fun.

Obviously this is a culture which has lost its bearing, in fact, it has thrown away the compass.

Fr. Zacharias writes in his marvellous book, 'Christ, Our Way and Our Life':

'We observe with sadness how nowadays men suffer dreadfully because their mind is fragmented. Imagination, which is only one of the mind's activities, is over-indulged and dominates men's lives. It leads some to a hard heart because of the arrogance it involves, and others to mental illness. According to the teaching of the Gospel - indeed, of the whole Bible - the mind only works naturally when it is united with the heart. Mind and heart are naturally joined together when the fire of contrition is in the heart.

'Nowadays the seduction of carnal pleasures has spread and augmented to a high degree, offering intense enjoyments, often presented in a refined form 'to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect' [Mark 13:22]...Our era is marked by strong 'lust of the flesh' and 'pride of life' [1 John 2:16; and Timothy 3:2]. It is also pervaded by a spirit of fear and general despair.

'In the conditions of today's world, the experience of hell is a very real state for many people. They often meet with situations which tyrannise them; they can see no way out, and their minds are confused. The human intellect falters before this pitiful spectacle. It is held fast by the pain of the reality around it, and readily breaks off form painful actuality so as to find comfort in the subsitutes offered by the passions of a world estranged from God. This tendency, often encountered in our day, leads to ever-increasing alienation and diffusion.

'In our generation, we are nearer to the Second Coming of Christ than our predecessors. Christ word, "Nevertheless when the Son of man comes, shall he find faith on earth?" [Luke 18:8], implies that our generation finds itself more than any before in great want and tribulation, and in need of deliverance. What are the tribulations that so emphatically and universally constitute the distinctive mark of our generation? The chief ones are these: pride; the darkening of the mind and its captivity by the spirit of wickedness; despair and the multitude of involuntary afflictions which accompany it; and finally, spiritual paralysis and indifference.

[John Charmley]

Dear Maria,

They make me think about all the evil in the world and despair. This is why I almost never watch TV, but I realize that I cannot shelter my children from the world. My question is this: are scary books and movies just entertainment, from the Orthodox perspective? Or is it spiritually destructive?

It seems to me that you are being very sensible. Obviously these things depend, at one level, upon one's own tolerance levels to this sort of thing, but even those who think they do have a high tolerance level can find it being eroded by prolonged exposure to the sorts of things you mention. They seem to stimulate parts of one's psyche that are better left calm.

But there is another level at which exposure to such material does have a damaging impact; it can distract one from better ways of living one's life, and, as you say, it can lead to the temptation of despair; so I suspect it is spiritually destructive.

'Purely entertainment'? Well, there is usually little 'pure' about most entertainment on T.V., and one of the reasons I rarely watch it is that I don't like the disturbing effect it has on me. I am not even sure that exposure to T.V. is offering children an insight into the real world - it is offering a slant on it from directions which, as a parent, I often disapprove of. I lost sight of the last time a T.V. news programme represented Christians as anything but either right-wing bigots or, if they are 'good Christians' then as well-meaning liberals who think anything should go because Jesus was a good guy who loved us all. This is not the 'real' world, it is the media elite's view of what it ought to be.

On the other hand there is the question of your husband, who clearly wants you to watch some T.V. with him, and you don't want to be in the business of creating divisions between the two of you. How does he feel about your view on the effects of the type of T.V. you mention? Is it possible to watch stuff which you also approve of?

In Christ,

John

[Herman Blaydoe]

All I know is that almost every source, except the entertainment industry itself, says that people spend way too much time in front of the TV, some monasitics in Russia call it the devil's icon. I absolutely hate what passes for "entertainment" these days and I simply cannot watch most of the shows. Anything you can do to get your family away from the mind-numbing electronic baby-sitter is going to be a good thing, for your physical health, your mind and intellect, and your spiritual welfare. Every minute in front of a TV is a minute not spent exercising, conversing, reading, praying, or just interacting with your family and friends. Take walks, play games, read books, talk to each other! In your final days, these are the things you will want to remember, not the soup nazi from Seinfeld...

[Nicolaj]

Dear Maria,

As I became an Orthodox Christian, there was not much I did know about and much that I had to learn by experiencing. Not one thing about Orthodoxy, about Christianity in general was there to learn from television. As I myself am a father of 5 children I know it can be a struggle about watching television or not. On the other hand I also made the experience that my children growing up in a religious family, I was the one most religious, my wife not at all, the children find out that it is good to be different. I never forbid them to watch TV, because that doesn't work as we know! The forbidden fruits taste most sweet!
The children and I worked out a routine with the time going on. They had the possibility to watch TV, but not all and everything and therefore I expected them to take part in praying at home, going to church together and taking time talking with another. Now I can say, my eldest daughter gets 21 in 2 weeks, this worked out fine and I am pleased to see that the Holy Trinity blessed this efforts.
With my wife I made a deal. She wasn't barely going to church, only for the high feasts. But she also expected from here husband some things and I also expected something from here. So we made a pact and sometimes I watched with her TV and other nights we went away together, just to talk together somewhere else as at home. I can tell you this are very good talks which are very helpful for every marriage. Because of the Entertainment nowadays this is something that fail the most people, having time for another! Hear what the other thinks about, what concerns him or her, take time for another, but not in front of a TV, or at the cinema. Search a nice comfortable quiet place were you can stay as long as needed for such an interesting evening out!

I have read that the Russian Orthodox Church, that is the one I am in, has great concerns about watching television and also I have heard concerns by many fathers. Four weeks ago our TV broke down and there wasn't money to buy a new one right away. So we fasted until we got a functional one from watching TV. It was a good experience I can tell you. And we are trying to prolong to experience.

In Christ-Nicolaj

[John Charmley]

Dear Nicolaj,

I have read that the Russian Orthodox Church, that is the one I am in, has great concerns about watching television and also I have heard concerns by many fathers. Four weeks ago our TV broke down and there wasn't money to buy a new one right away. So we fasted until we got a functional one from watching TV. It was a good experience I can tell you. And we are trying to prolong to experience.

It may, of course, be entirely coincidental, but my eldest sons (twins) had no access to T.V. until they were 13 years old, my then wife and I did not watch T.V. and had no interest in having it in the house, and they both prefer books to movies and are both Church-going young men (now 27), one of whom is a Baptist pastor, the other of whom is a stalwart of his local Church and the bell-ringing team. My youngest son, who is now 17, and who grew up with a T.V. in the house has chosen not to continue attending Church. (Our deal with all of them was that they would attend Church every Sunday until they were 16, and after that they could make a decision for themselves). As I say, perhaps it is just a coincidence?

In Christ,

John

[Mary]

My question is this: are scary books and movies just entertainment, from the Orthodox perspective? Or is it spiritually destructive? Perhaps just a waste of time? My husband insists that it is purely entertainment and drama and wants me to change my mind so I can watch it with him. I am hoping someone has some thoughts on this.


I was just reading in "Raising them Right" by St Theophan the Recluse:

"Truth binds the mind to what satisfies it, but worldly thinking does not satisfy and therefore ignites curiosity. One does a great favor to children by saving them from this worldly thinking. And this is still before they take to reading books.

Further, one must on no account give children books with corrupt concepts; their minds will thus be preserved whole, in holy and divine healthiness."

That's from Chapter 4 "Forming Attitudes".

From my own personal experience, I do know that I suffered from a very intense curiosity. I had to know everything about everything and everyone and I also had to experience as much as I could, regardless of whether it was good for me or not.

I didn't connect it to the evil in the books I read. I was always an avid reader and read everything - the good, the bad, the ugly. So... I guess St Theophan is right!

Only recently, have I noticed a decrease in the intensity of my curiosity. But, I can tell you, it led me down many paths that I don't want my own children wandering in!

Mary.

[Rebecca Gabl]

I don't like books and movies that have a supernatural or horror component. It seems to go against the Church's teaching of Jesus' triumph over the devil and death. We're not supposed to fear anything but sin, because sin is what separates us from God.
I don't like movies that are realistically scary, either. I know that violent crimes, war, etc. happen, but I don't like having the images forced into my mind. People get so traumatized if they witness these things in real life. Why voluntarily witness a realistic reenactment of such things?

[Tanya Hoadley]

Dear Maria,

Society bombards us incessantly with the message that children need to be exposed to the realities of this world in order to be functioning members of society. I believe this is a great lie!

What do the Holy Fathers teach? How are we to spend our time? I find disturbing images, language, sex, violence have an effect on me as well. How much more our children!

It is difficult raising children in this deluge of mass media. Perhaps a simple guidline for choosing what is appropriate is to ask if it would grieve the childs guardian angel who is ever present. Maybe picture Jesus watching TV with the kids and see how quickly you'll find the off button.

My children are grown, but if I had the chance to do it over I would not have had a TV in my home.

In Christ,
Tanya

[Paul Cowan]

Many addictions lead to other addictions. I read a "joke" about in the 1940's a father brought a "friend" home to stay with them. This friend talked on all kinds of subjects. He took you to far away places and to see people you would not normally see. Sometimes this friend would say things that made dad squirm since we were not allowed to say these things, yet the friend was never reprimanded or told to leave. You all know who the "friend" is. You probably have heard the "joke".

I grew up in a fairly loving home with the tv as my babysitter after school. Both parents worked. Back then, there were not so many risque things to see on tv, but my childs mind was absorbed in what I could see. As time went on, more inappropriate viewing was allowed past the censors. (what ever happened to them anyway?) All this led to addictions and behaviors I am now as an adult needing to work out my salvation with God for.


I find disturbing images, language, sex, violence have an effect on me as well

My wife and I have agreed to disconnect the tv, radio, newpapers, magazines and any other media that takes away our ability to "clean out our minds". The internet is a dangerous place but it is navigatable with care and deliberation. Look at this site. I spend alot of time here. It is safe and profitable for the soul. She and I are closer now and have more "fun" as a couple because we are not vegetating in front to the tube.

I have also noticed I spend more time in church and have a fervent desire for more. I went to church very occassionally as a youth. Was it because I was trying to hide from God all the filth I was allowing into my brain? Or this filth led to activities I did not want him to know about? If the Holy Spirit is represented within and as our conscience, then He was screaming at me my whole life. I just tuned Him out and got numb to His pleadings.

Now as an adult, I have many addictions I directly blame the media outlets for introducing me to that I must overcome in order to hear His sweet voice again. Yes they were my choices to participate in, but as a youth, I should never have been exposed to them.

We have no children. Thank God I will never have to fight with the issues parents of today have. To be responsible for my wife's salvation as head of house as well as my own is more than I can shoulder. to then have children?...I constantly pray for parents who fight this fight.

Pray for me an exceeding sinner
Paul

[Sunny]

Many, many thanks to the one who started this thread. I grew up with television like others, when it was pretty harmless. As the years went by, I was unsupervised and watched whatever I wanted and any theatre things I wanted. I suffered with tremendous fears based on things I viewed. Now as an adult I have a genuine television addiction. I personally believe there is a evil behind t.v.. We have removed it from our home and then gotten new ones more times then I can count. We recently got rid of the t.v.'s, and with God's help will NEVER have another one in our home. I personally cannot have a relationship with the lord and have the t.v. in my home. At it's very least harmful, it is still a tremendous waste of time as the days of the one life we have drain away.
Televisions also change our brain waves putting them in a "sleep-type" mode. That's why people find it relaxing and fall asleep in front of the tube. And it puts the brain in a state where it is more open to suggestion and influence.
If there's any ONE thing I could do in my life over, it would be to never have watched television.
Please pray for me and for the healing of my soul,
Sunny

[Maria Murray]

Thank you all so very much for the thoughtful insights! You all bring up some really good points.

To clarify a bit more, I personally don't have an interest in the TV and would be happy if we didn't even own it, but I feel bad for forcing my attitude onto my family, especially my husband. He honestly doesn't see anything wrong with the tv shows that disturb me. He thinks it's just drama we should appreciate and sees my attitude as an emotional problem I need to overcome. So he thinks if I stop seeing it as being real and start seeing it as drama/stories that are made up, then I can appreciate it with him. He is sad that I won't go see all the scary movies at the movie theatre with him. I told him I don't want to judge him in his decision to watch it but I personally don't want to. And of course the question is how much should the kids be limited in tv watching/scary books.

I have a friend who strongly feels tv is from the devil and yesterday she said we can look at it both ways: one is to shelter our kids from the tv altogether growing up but then they will get bombarded with it later and will they be able to stand against it? The other option is to allow some scary disturbing influence that naturally comes and keep explaining it to them. If we are the take the second route, what exactly should I say about it to the kids? My son read a book for his homework about spooky ghosts and still afraid of everything, sleeping even going to the bathroom! I already explained about the fallen angels and that God is stronger and that we should pray and cross ourselves but it hasn't seeemed to ease it for him. Thank you all again.

[Trudy]

This is a wonderful thread!

My Dad always called the TV the 'idiot box.' Sadly, now that he is elderly, he spends a good deal of time in front of it.

Growing up in the early '60s, TV was a 'new invention' and expensive, so not many people had one in their homes. Ours was the kind with the tiny screen in a great big box!

I would prefer to have no TV in the home at all. During college semesters, I rarely watch it. Unfortunately, I get 'hooked' on off weeks. I enjoy reading a lot but I have found that the closer God has drawn me in, the less interested I am in 'off toned' books which I used to devour. TV is a major distraction for me! And after I sit in front of it even for only 30 minutes my mind feels dull. Not so with a good book.

Our general practice with our children during their growing up years was to restrict the amount of TV they could watch. Using an empty and re-decorated coffee can with a slit cut in the top, each child received a certain number of TV tickets (made out of colored construction paper) each week. Each ticket was equal to 30 minutes of TV. They could use the tickets as they wanted but once they were gone...they were gone! No replenishment until Sunday afternoon. I can assure you, there was many a Saturday morning with great wailing and gnashing of teeth because there were no more tickets! And trading/bartering was a no-no. It worked very well.

I also restricted the kinds of shows they could watch. The kids got teased big-time at school but they lived!

Love, Athanasia

[Scott Pierson]

This is not really my area of expertise. However, I have some reflections on this. When I was born it was only a few years after that that television was introduced into my native country, Canada. At that time, of course, the televison shows were in black and white, the screen itself was very small, and the two or three stations, said 'good night' at 10 pm. I do not remember much of televison from my childhood because it was a limited experience, due to technology.Dear Father Seraphim,

Thank you for that post it was very thought provoking. Its a very unique perspective to hear from someone who has protected themselves from being exposed to the media and TV on a large scale and I can see that it gives you insights into the issue that a person whose mind has grown dull and desensitized from over stimulation might not have.

Just today I was listening to the radio and the topic of fantasy was being discussed ( like Lord of the Rings, or cartoons like Avatar and such ) and it made me question a few things. I'm a nerd and as such I've always loved fantasy from movies like Conan, to books like the Dark Sun novels and RPGs like Dungeons and Dragons or Exalted and such... but I'm starting to wonder how healthy it is to focus on things of that nature and I'm beginning to see why people might be opposed to certain aspects of fantasy such as cartoons that glorify occult subjects like sorcery and stuff. Some fantasy writers try to focus more on the positive and even add Christian elements such as C. S. Lewis and Tolkien , etc but some of the cartoons and books out there seem almost like recruitment tools for paganism and I wonder what I should let my son watch and what I should even allow myself to enjoy.

[John Charmley]

Dear Scott,

I wonder what I should let my son watch and what I should even allow myself to enjoy.


Well, I am not sure that one can quite control what one enjoys as easily as one sometimes imagines - although one can try hard.

This gets more difficult with things like computer games, where some of them seem positively to promote evil, and where, unlike the T.V,. which I can switch off, I am not always sure I can protect my son from, as all he has to do is go on the internet. For that reason, at home, the only computer linked to the internet is in a communal area, and any pleas to have one in his bed room are rejected; but I cannot know what happens when he goes to the house of a friend.

Is there anything people will not try to make money from? (Or is that one for Owen's spiritual IQ test?)

What does seem clear, is that T.V., like the movies, makes it harder to help one's children towards living the Christian life.

In Christ,

John

[Fr Seraphim (Black)]

Some reflections of Fr. Sophrony on the Imagination and the Ascetic Struggle against its Various Aspects:

"The world of the human will and imagination is the world of mirages. It is common to man and the fallen angels, and imagination is, therefore, often a conductor of demonic energy.

"Such demonic images and those conjured up by man may influence people, altering or transforming them, but one thing is inevitable - every image, whether created by man himself or suggested by the demons, and accepted by the soul, will distort the spiritual image of man created in the image and after the likeness of God. This 'creation' in its ultimate development leads to the self-divinization of the creature - that is, to the affirmation of the divine principle as contained in the very nature of man. Because of this, natural religion - religion of the human mind - may fatefully assume a pantheistic character.

"Both demonic images and those conjured up by man may acquire very considerable force, not because they are real in the ultimate sense of the word, like the Divine strength which creates out of nothing, but in so far as the human will is drawn to and shaped by such images. But the Lord liberates him who repents from the sway of passion and imagination, and the Christian thus liberated laughs at the power of images.

"The power of cosmic evil over man is colossal, and such as no son of Adam can overcome without Christ and outside Christ. He is Jesus the Saviour, in the literal and sole sense of the word. This is the Orthodox ascetic's belief, and he therefore pursues the prayer of inner stillness by the unceasing invocation of the Name of Jesus Christ, which is why this prayer is called the Jesus Prayer. (bold - mine)

In our times of media overload, and truly, absolutely, without either/or: demonic imagery permeating virtually every aspect of visual media, this is the result when we do our Prayer Rule:

The more images we have let in/seen each day - the more they present themselves to our mind at the moment of prayer. Just why is it, that when we begin to pray, an absolute flood of 'thoughts' suddenly become so imperative?

Thus, the Fathers taught us not to accept any thoughts during Prayer, not even a good thought (here I am not talking about Praying for people etc.,) any thought is considered demonic energy, because it invades the mind, disturbs the Prayer and exhausts our strength and willingness to continue praying.

[Audrey]

I don't like books and movies that have a supernatural or horror component. It seems to go against the Church's teaching of Jesus' triumph over the devil and death. We're not supposed to fear anything but sin, because sin is what separates us from God.
I don't like movies that are realistically scary, either. I know that violent crimes, war, etc. happen, but I don't like having the images forced into my mind. People get so traumatized if they witness these things in real life. Why voluntarily witness a realistic reenactment of such things?

I am so thankful to have found this thread because I am greatly in need of spiritual counsel related to the subject of trauma.
Unfortunately, at the college where I currently work, recently a student committed suicide in a fashion that was traumatic for those who witnessed it. There are students and even staff members who are having traumatic thoughts and images haunting them in their sleep and during the day. Even student and staff who did not know this student are being bombarded with disturbing images. Christians who are involved are wondering where God is in all this.

Unfortunately, what this young man did to himself and his friends discovering his body did not happen on television; it happened in real life and there are many struggling with how something so horrid could happen in real life. No one saw this coming or predicted this from this young man. many are literally feeling "traumatized" and Christians are struggling with where God is.

Why does God allow such traumatic incidences such as suicide and murder to be witnessed? When someone is bombarded with traumatic images while attempting to sleep at night, why does God allow this and how can one overcome these symptoms of stress and trauma?

I have encountered questions such as whether Satan has the power to place disturbing images and thoughts in the mind even if a Christian prays against it. Can Satan cause ghostly images to appear to someone? How much power does Satan have to "traumatize" someone and retraumatize someone who has already witness a traumatic incident and is having a hard time recovering? Does God allow Satan to do this and is there any relief one can count on from God? If God allows such things to be witnessed then does he also allow one to be overcome with symptoms of trauma?

That all of this happened before Holy Week provides a chance for us to ponder more deeply the harrowing of hell that Christ is currently doing in the liturgy. How does Christ harrow the hell of trauma?

Thank you so much for any feedback. Many of us are in desperate need of spiritual counsel and relief during this time.

[Paul Cowan]

Dear Audry:
I am very sorry for the loss of life of this young man. Truly one of God's miracles is now gone.

This question always happens during great trials in life. There is never an easy answer.

Where is God in all this? He is right beside each of us.

Why did He allow this to happen? Man has free will. God will not change that.

Does the devil have more control over us than God? absolutely not. Again, man has free will to choose who he follows.

Why does God allow trauma and traumatic things to be witnessed? God does not put us into circumstances we can not handle. Sometimes, we put our selves there voluntarily. Yes, post traumatic stress syndrom is real, but with prayer and faith it is manageable and overcomeable.

Does the devil have access to influence us? yes, of course otherwise he would have nothing to do. What man does with those influences is where the great struggle lies.

Does God allow this? Sometimes, for our betterment or for strength building or for chastisement. Never out of pleasure or out of anger. For God to do that He would no longer be a God of Love, but a God of evil.

How does Christ harrow the hell of trauma, especially during Hoy Week? By drawing us closer to him and to each other especially during this type of trauma. How many people are drawing closer together since this happened? I would guess most everyone. How many are praying more now than before? I would guess most everyone. Christ's descent into Hades today is the only hope for us all to glorify Him in our resurrection.

Death is always painful and what leads any person to suicide is beyond comprehension to everyone except the one doing it. I believe there is a whole other thread devoted to suicide on Monachos. God is always present even with the person taking his own life. Pray for this young man's soul, his family and friends.

In love,

Paul

[Rebecca Gabl]

I'm sorry that you've witnessed such a tragedy. I should think that would make one even more sensitive to violence on TV. The media almost glorifies death and violence, which seems disrespectful of the victims and their loved ones. There was recently a murder that made a lot of headlines in my area- the husband, who was having an affair with the German au pair, killed his wife, etc. (I won't burden you with the gory details.) And the tragic murder of that little Ramsey girl-was that 10 years ago? I often get the impression that they're more excited about the news ratings and the scandalous "whodunit" than having compassion for the vicitms and their families. These are real people who will be having real nightmares long after we've switched off the "idiot boxes"!

Getting back to our subject, the fourth Harry Potter book gave me several disturbing dreams, and I'm 25! Parents, be forewarned.

[Nina]

Getting back to our subject, the fourth Harry Potter book gave me several disturbing dreams, and I'm 25! Parents, be forewarned.

I agree with you Rebecca, in identifying what is disturbing our inner peace and severing any relationship with its root, or cause. I do not always do it, but at least, Thank God!, I stay away from horror movies because those do terrify me. And St. Nephon's life indicates that fear is caused by a demon assigned to tempt us in that aspect. Our God told us not to fear anything. For us that are affected, or sensitive to these (or other) kind of external influences, the precious advise of a beloved Saint, might aid into going into an internal search-and-destroy-evil-cause mode and into preserving our inner peace. He is Saint Theophan the Recluse, who wrote something especially helpful and relevant to this thread, for his correspondent:

"First. Do not give free reign to your senses, especially the eyes and ears. Do not allow them to see everything, hear everything and be concerned with everything indiscriminately. Your senses are like windows or doors, or better, like a pail. A person who opens the window and lets in bad air is doing wrong. A person who opens the doors and lets all kinds of livestock come into his house is going to be reprimanded. But what would you say if someone were to take a pail [...] and go to a dirty, unclean puddle and draw from it and pour it over himself? Can you think of anything more stupid? And yet, isn't someone doing the same thing when he stops in front of some bad person out of curiosity and listens to profane words? A smattering of evil thoughts is picked up through this; these turn into evil feelings and desires, and the person walks around distressed, as if in some sort of fog. Thus, prudence and the responsibility for maintaining one's inner peace require that one not look at everything, listen to everything or concern himself with everything that he happens to come across. A thing will hardly show that it is capable of rousing passions, so it is necessary to turn the eyes away from it, plug up the ears in front of it, or seeing do not see and hearing do not hear.

Second. Evil thoughts have been engendered from some evil stimulus. It is necessary to rush immediately to blot out the stimulus and suppress the thoughts using the method shown earlier, after the flow of stimuli has been stopped, of course. It would be foolish to remain under the influence of the bad stimulus, or to postpone blotting it out and restoring peace of mind until another time. By remaining under the influence of the stimulus willingly, we encourage the breeding of evil thoughts and feelings. By leaving the evil within ourself for a long time, we give it the opportunity to become more deeply implanted and then further oppose expulsion and cleansing, if not to take complete possession of the mind.

Third. Once a person has experienced harm from some stimulus, he should not willingly allow himself to encounter the objects that caused it again. This would signify that the person acting in this way delights in the evil thing, and consequently is impure to the bottom of the heart. If some necessity should force him to encounter it again, then he must arm himself ahead of time and prepare his heart to resist the evil stimulus and not allow it to enter himself. Attentiveness, increased resistance on the person's part and prayer will make this possible.

Fourth. I already wrote you about reinterpreting everything you encounter and that you might encounter in the spiritual sense. It is necessary to do this also with respect to objects of evil significance. After encountering them, you will not have bad thoughts, but good ones instead, in the same way when St. Ephraim the Syrian, having encountered an enticingly dressed woman, told his disciples, "You see how she takes care to adorn her body, which will soon be dust; how can we not be concerned with adorning our immortal soul?" pp. 257-259

Saint Theophan the Recluse

The Spiritual Life and how to be attuned to it.

[Maria Murray]

Nina, that was a very wise quote. I should go meditate on it for a while...

Now, if one does not think he is being affected and negatively influenced by 'scary' movies/shows, is this indicative that he has achieved a level of spirituality where this truly doesn't affect him, or is this a delusion?

[Nina]

Nina, that was a very wise quote. I should go meditate on it for a while...

Now, if one does not think he is being affected and negatively influenced by 'scary' movies/shows, is this indicative that he has achieved a level of spirituality where this truly doesn't affect him, or is this a delusion?

Christ is Risen!

Dear Maria,

You are right that Saint Theophan the Recluse is a very wise spiritual father, and of course extra special because he is a Saint.

I can not recommend enough the book The Spiritual Life and how to be attuned to it! Those are letters of the Saint, full of the most precious spiritual advise, that he sent to a young soul that was seeking the way to salvation after a miraculous vision, which made her realize the vanity of life and the importance of a serious and conscious preparation for the eternal life.

Concerning your question, I am not sure if I can answer because for scary/horror movies, I just literally close my eyes and ears, or switch the TV off. I never had a penchant for scary/horror books, therefore I have zero experience. However as always we should consult our personal spiritual father.

As Saint Theophan advises we should first take care to place a barrier between us and the source of disturbance. If someone has achieved what you describe, I would assume that, that someone does not place it in rational terms, does not think about it: it becomes a second nature same as breathing. What you ask is very interesting because it is similar to apathia (a spiritual state where there is freedom from egotistical passions). This very high spiritual level is often possessed by Saints, or holy people.

[Maria Murray]

Thank you again.

I was hoping to ask another question in relation to the topic - in what sense are these things real? My son continues to have fears of evil things (such as ghosts etc) that were mentioned in that book back in January, he even has trouble being in a room by himself or going to sleep. Recently, he saw a counselor at the school who asked me a lot of questions about what we've already tried with him. I told her dad told him ghosts weren't real and I simply said there is nothing to be scared of in our house since it has been blessed. I also said I didn't want to send my son a double-message by having one person say ghosts are not real and me saying evil things are real (although maybe not the way described in the book) but we pray for protection. The counselor seemed shocked that I said such things were real. She said such ideas (struggle of good and evil) are too absract for a 7-year-old. This made me feel confused: do we really believe things like ghosts are real? In what sense? What is a good way to talk about it to a child?

[Herman Blaydoe]

I don't believe that the Church endorses the concept of "ghosts" but readily acknowledges the reality of demons. That also might be a little scary to a child so it might be useful rather to talk about guardian angels, perhaps even teach him a prayer:


Angel of God, my guardian dear
to whom God's love commits me here.
Ever this day be at my side
to light and guard, to rule and guide.
Amen.

And for when he is a little older (or for you now)


O angel of Christ, holy guardian and protector of my soul and body, forgive me everything wherein I have offended you every day of my life, and protect me from all influence and temptation of the Evil One. May I never again anger God by my sins. Pray for me to the Lord, that He may make me worthy of the grace of the All-Holy Trinity, and of the blessed Mother of God, and of all the saints. Amen.

Just a simple thought from a simple mind.

[Paul Cowan]

I won't presume to advise how to deal with kids, I have none, but even the Apostles were afraid of Ghosts.


49 And when they saw Him walking on the sea, they supposed it was a ghost, and cried out;

So either they believed in them back then OR they are as superstitious as we are today. Man really has not changed all that much in 2000 years. nor 7000 years