Faithfulness and responsibility - a balance

[Thomas Carroll]

Dear Father Raphael,

In the thread "Infant wearing a cross" you wrote:


From the time of the Holy ascetic Frs we have been urged to follow the balance of what is called the Royal Road in our spiritual lives. This also applies to how we care for others. We do not leave people entirely to 'the will of God' since precisely we are called to be instruments of God's will. But nor are we to create a protective bubble around people for this actually would substitute our will for God's providence & love.

I would be most grateful if you (or others) would expand upon these most beneficial words and explain how we can find this balance in the various situations in which we find ourselves in our lives. How can we find the line between acting responsibly and not trusting in God, between trusting in God and acting irresponsibly?

I have struggled greatly the past few years to find this balance, having entered the world of adult responsibilities. To give one concrete context (among many) in which this balance must be sought: in the United States it is possible -- at a price -- to shield oneself and one's dependents from a wide range of difficulties resulting from illness, injury, unemployment, old age, death, and the godlessness of one's neighbors. The perceived responsibility of providing such protections makes, for instance, the thought of marrying and raising children a daunting prospect indeed (for, as you wrote,
If we see in this way then life itself is a condition of avoidable harm). One, of course, has a duty to protect those dependent upon him, but it seems that, in providing all the protections mentioned (obliquely) above, one could depart rather far from the Lord's commandment that we not worry about tomorrow, from the Apostle's injunction that we be satisfied if we have but food and clothing, and from the teaching of the holy fathers that our abundance belongs to the poor. And, in the end, these protections cannot ensure the ends we seek (medical insurance, for instance, can only ensure that medical bills will be paid, not that the patient will be healed; a "good" neighborhood and a "good" school can shield a child from certain dangers and influences, but cannot ensure his safety and his growth in righteousness). As you wrote,


Life is filled with risk and potential harm. This comes from the Fall but in Christ through discernment this can be worked with to our good. But in our day we see life as a series of potential obstacles which we are called to overcome through individual assertions of self-will.

I know my thoughts and words are unfocused and unclear, but I hope it can be seen what I am aiming at. Again, I would be most grateful if you could elaborate upon what you have written and say something more about how we can find this Royal Road in practice.

Asking your paternal prayers and blessings,
Thomas

[Andreas Moran]

Dear Thomas,

Fr Raphael will answer better than I but I can pass on one simple concrete example. I once had an argument with a Cypriot friend about house insurance. She used to live in Thessaloniki and didn't insure her house despite the risk of earthquakes. I asked Fr Zacharias about this. He said, if God has given us the means to pay a modest premium to insure our house, then we should do so. It is not right, he said, to say, 'Oh, I trust in God'. God expects us to be responsible. If our house burns down and we are uninsured, we become a burden on someone and cause difficulty for our family. We avoid that by paying the insurance premium. 'After all', he remarked, 'we insure our monastery!' He told this story. A certain man lived in a village and was very devout. There came a flood and the waters rose higher and higher. People were escaping in boats. This man was now up to his neck in water. A neighbour's boat came by and he offered to take the man in this boat. 'No, no', cried the man, 'God will save me!' Well, to cut it short, this happened three times. And the man drowned. His soul came before the Lord, and he said, 'What happened? I trusted that You would save me.' The Lord replied, 'I tried to, three times, and you wouldn't let me!'

There are times when we have to trust God because we can do no other. When I moved from the University of Sheffield to the University of Essex, it was at first on a part-time basis. I married Lydia, and God knew I would need more money. After a few months, the head of department came and said, 'we're going to make your job full-time with permanent tenure' (very unusual for someone my age with no publications). He said, 'we have to advertise the post but don't worry - it'll be a formality'. To everyone's astonishment, a professor from somewhere in the Pacific applied: a professor with a list of publications as long as your arm. This person simply wanted any job to get back to England. The HoD said, 'I'm so sorry! We didn't expect this. Of course, we have to offer the post to this person.' Did we trust God that all would be well? NO! We panicked! I accused God - 'what are You doing to me? You brought me here to Essex, I've got married, and now I've no job! What are You doing?' Fr Zacharias was furious - 'you can't accuse God like this - you must trust Him'. Lydia phoned her spiritual father at the Holy Trinity St Sergius Lavra near Moscow. He was quite calm: 'it's a test', he said. 'And you're failing! You must beg God's forgiveness and trust Him. You must say the Akathist Hymn to St Nicholas together every day.' After the first day, the HoD came and said, 'I can't say much now but just wait.' On the third day, he phoned in the evening and said, 'this professor's university will not release her from her contract, so the job is yours.' We were so ashamed and saw the blackness on our souls because we didn't trust God. We learned a lesson. All I have is from God but I have a responsibility to use what I have been given responsibly.

In Christ,

Andreas.

[Antonios]

Thank you Thomas for initiating this thread. I have been thinking much on the wise words Father Raphael posted on the "Infant wearing a cross" thread, and am so appreciative that Father wrote it. The balance he spoke about is such an important concept in living the virtuous life, but it is often very difficulty to find that 'correct' balance. This, I imagine, requires much discernment. However, for many lay and spiritually immature people like myself, this sometimes becomes a battle between my faith in God and my fear of 'putting God to the test', that is, by falsly relying on Him when He has already provided me with means to work out that balance. This is similar to what Andreas posted about the man stuck in the flood who awaited some miraculous event to save him and each time turned down the people who came to help him, not realizing this was how God has providentially aiding him.

The question becomes, if we are told to place all of our worries and concerns and struggles into God's hands, how does this effect our own responsiblities and actions in living day by day in a world which has been corrupted with sin? Is this a unique circumstance to each individual? That is, does my balance between complete carelessness on one end and complete obsessive, paranoidal fear at the other end differ from another's balance? Is my midway point a factor relative to my own life's experiences and unique existence? Or is thinking this way a self-centered excuse which places my life experiences as the litmus test and determing factor as to when and how I should trust in God, that is, to passively await or actively participate.

I look forward to anyone and everyone's thoughts on this matter, since I think this is such an important concept to work out. I imagine this is where having a spiritual father would be of immense support and guidance. But for those who do not have one yet, how do we find that balance, so that we may fight the good fight and at the same time rest our conscience in peace knowing that our faith will save us?

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Sorry to all for not replying yet. I just got back from an overnight visit & blessing the home of one of our parish families who lives 150kms or so out of the city. It was -35c out there this morning when we got up; but my car DID start so I made it back into the city.

Now have a number of other things to do but I will get to these posts as I am able to.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Nina]

While waiting for Father Raphael's guidance...

Dear Andreas,
Thank you so much for your great post (as always)! I had heard about the story of the drowning man, but the rest of your post was wonderful and the thoughts of Fr. Zacharias are precious. Thank you for sharing those with us!

I found myself in similar trials (especially when my mom got ill). I could totally relate to you and Lydia and how you felt. You are very blessed to have so many spiritual guidance and care. And again thank you for sharing this witness of our God's great love!

I have a question. Why did Lydia's spiritual father recommend the Akathist Hymn to St Nicholas and not something else? Do you know if there is a particular relation between this Hymn and the situation mentioned?
Thank you!

[Andreas Moran]

Dear Nina,

St Nicholas is a great saint and helper to all. The Russians venerate him so much because of his great help to those in need. In particular, Ikos 5 of his Akathist is all about his miracles in providing for those in need. In gratitude we dedicated our house to him. The further point to the story is this. We were renting a cottage in Essex and I hadn't sold my house in Sheffield. Frankly, I was running out of money. Not only did the job work out right but I sold my house for more than I was hoping to get for it, and on the very day it was sold, we found the house where we now live. So, you see, we have a lot to thank him for.

In Christ,

Andreas.

[Paul Cowan]

This has nothing to do with anyting except for St. Nicholas and the selling of your house...Realtors in this country sometimes tell selling homeowners to bury a small statue of St. Nicholas upside down in their front yard and it will sell faster.

I don't know the statistics, but I have heard some say they get success selling the house quicker by using this blasephemy, (If I can use that word with a saint). Our last realtor suggested we do this and we just stared at him like he was out of his mind. He said many Hispanics here in Texas do it. If it works whats the harm?"

Well...would you like that numerically or alphabetically?

[Nina]

Dear Nina,

St Nicholas is a great saint and helper to all. The Russians venerate him so much because of his great help to those in need. In particular, Ikos 5 of his Akathist is all about his miracles in providing for those in need. In gratitude we dedicated our house to him. The further point to the story is this. We were renting a cottage in Essex and I hadn't sold my house in Sheffield. Frankly, I was running out of money. Not only did the job work out right but I sold my house for more than I was hoping to get for it, and on the very day it was sold, we found the house where we now live. So, you see, we have a lot to thank him for.

In Christ,

Andreas.

Yes Andreas, St. Nicholas is one of my favorite Saints also. But I never heard about his Akathist, so I wanted to know more. I will look for his Akathist. Thank you so much! :)

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

I just finished reading through the posts above. I find myself unable to add little more than what has already been posted so well by others.

And in a way I was just trying to make some general comments to think about rather than trying to be specific.

Although one thing at the back of my mind as I wrote is that in a way our society is custom designed to prevent us from having to live by faith. How does this affect our inner life as Christians called to rely on faith who have grown up in this society?

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Sunny]

Thank you Andreas for your inspiring story about your job and your home. Your advice from Lydia's spiritual father made me realize that I wasn't trusting God with my grown childrens' salvation. In this country it seems as if we learn that we must always "do" things first and pray later when our "doing" fails. I'm always thinking I should jump into action: what should I do, what should I do!" But for me, first I must pray, then I must trust, and if God shows me to act, then I act!
Thank you!
Sunny

[Andreas Moran]

Dear Paul,

I'll stick with the guidance of a spiritual father of the Holy Trinity St Sergius Lavra rather than a realtor (estate agent)!

Dear All,

Fr Raphael says:

'Our society is customed designed to prevent us having to live by faith.'

This is exactly Lydia's point.

In Christ,

Andreas.

[Thomas Carroll]

Dear brother in Christ Andreas,

Thank you very much for your reply to my question. I very much appreciate your contributions to this forum, in which you combine the counsels of contemporary spiritual fathers with understanding gained from your own struggle to live a Christian life. It is a sort of practical wisdom that I esteem very highly. Thank you.

Thomas

[Andreas Moran]

Dear Thomas,

I, of course, have no understanding or wisdom - I can only pass on what I have been taught and the experience of my failings.

In Christ,

Andreas.

[Andreas Moran]

PS I have been told (can't remember by whom) that St Xenia of St Petersburg is very helpful as to finding a job or a home. Interesting since she voluntarily gave up her home. (I like the account of her family getting a doctor to say she was insane so they could stop her selling everything. The doctor interviewed her and then pronounced her to be the sanest person he had ever met!) When we went to venerate her relics in St Petersburg, you could hardly get through the crowd!

[Nina]

PS I have been told (can't remember by whom) that St Xenia of St Petersburg is very helpful as to finding a job or a home. Interesting since she voluntarily gave up her home. (I like the account of her family getting a doctor to say she was insane so they could stop her selling everything. The doctor interviewed her and then pronounced her to be the sanest person he had ever met!) When we went to venerate her relics in St Petersburg, you could hardly get through the crowd!

Dear Andreas,

I had heard about St. Xenia as a saint helpful in finding a job but that was it.

Last December I visited a friend and while going from a room to the other I froze and gasped since I saw an icon with an elderly lady who looked like my paternal grandmother. My friend explained that she is St.Xenia of St. Petersburg. It was the icon where she is dressed all in black and has a crane I think.

I started thinking more about her and wanted to read about her life.

St.Xenia just celebrated recently and thank God, I came across her life for the first time. It is such a moving story! Her life was amazing.

I am so happy you have been to venerate her relics. I feel like I have been there even if I only know you and Lydia through monachos.

Is it that difficult always to venerate her relics, or was it a special day you went? Not that I have any plans to go right now.

Nina

[Andreas Moran]

Dear Nina,

It wasn't really difficult but we had to wait our turn. The point is that her relics are not in a church but in a tiny sort of chapel in a cemetry not far from a monastery founded by St John of Kronstadt.

In Christ,

Andreas.

[Nina]

Thank you Andreas! You are so blessed to have been there and know so much. People sound so pious there and they must love St. Xenia very much.

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Thank you Andreas! You are so blessed to have been there and know so much. People sound so pious there and they must love St. Xenia very much.

By the way, today (Feb 6/Jan 24) is the feast day of St Xenia of Petersburg.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Nina]

Thank you Father Raphael!

As you have already understood I am with the church that follows NC. However sometime if I remember a saint I love, I celebrate (pray, light candle) him/her on both days! :)

Thank you for reminding me about Saint Xenia!
Your blessings!

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Thank you Father Raphael!

As you have already understood I am with the church that follows NC. However sometime if I remember a saint I love, I celebrate (pray, light candle) him/her on both days! :)

Thank you for reminding me about Saint Xenia!
Your blessings!


A nice thing I've noticed is that several of the modern saints are celebrated on the same day NC & OC according to the day they reposed. If I recall correctly St John of Kronstadt is commemorated on the same day at the end of October.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Nina]

A nice thing I've noticed is that several of the modern saints are celebrated on the same day NC & OC according to the day they reposed. If I recall correctly St John of Kronstadt is commemorated on the same day at the end of October.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

:) Thank you Father! I haven't noticed before. Your Blessings!