Proper way to greet abbess

[Robin Elizabeth]

Howdy all,

What is the proper way to greet an Abbess when you first meet her? And is there any difference between jurisdictions?

I read someplace that you are supposed to ask her blessing - which sounds right to me. But exactly how are you supposed to do that. Is it the same as asking a priest's blessing or is it somehow different?

Also, do you call her "mother" or is there some other form of address?

I've visited a couple of monasteries, but the first one I visited was very relaxed - the abbess never mentioned it and it never occurred to me. At another monastery the abbess was gone, so it didn't come up.

I'm getting ready to visit several other monasteries and I'd like to do things right.

Thanks

[Herman Blaydoe]

You might find some useful information here:

Visitor Information when visiting Orthodox Monasteries (http://omna.malf.net/attire.htm)

[Robin Elizabeth]

Thanks for the web link. I went to the site and found this:

"When presented to the Abbot, visitors and guests should always greet him in the same manner as they would a Priest. The Abbot or Hegoumen is not always necessarily a hieromonk, but he is always accorded the same respect. If the Abbot or Hegoumen is not a Priest, he will not bestow a blessing. An Abbess is generally addressed as Mother."

So you do refer to the abbess as "mother", but it doesn't address how to greet an abbess (only an abbot).

It makes sense to ask the abbot for a blessing, since he is likely to be a priest in a lot of cases. But the same wouldn't hold true for an abbess - she can't be a priest. So does that mean that you don't ask the abbess for her blessing when you meet her?

[Herman Blaydoe]

In the Russian practice, Abbesses (or in rare cases their chief assistants) can wear a pectoral cross. Laypeople should approach an Abbess for a blessing the same as they would a Priest—they bow and hold their hands, palms up, right over left—and after receiving the blessing (which the Abbess makes holding her fingers the same as when one makes the sign of the cross—not the "Name of the Lord" configuration of fingers used by priests when blessing)—they kiss the Abbess's hand.

[Paul Cowan]

Herman,

May I ask why we kiss the Abbess's hand? I was under the impression we kissed the priest's hand because he held the body of Christ during the Euchrist. Since women are not allowed to do this, would it still hold true?

I also heard it was not proper to touch a monk or nun and they might not bless you within your hands but above your hands so as not to touch you. This would definitely mean no kissing.

Thanks
Paul

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Herman,

May I ask why we kiss the Abbess's hand? I was under the impression we kissed the priest's hand because he held the body of Christ during the Euchrist. Since women are not allowed to do this, would it still hold true?

I also heard it was not proper to touch a monk or nun and they might not bless you within your hands but above your hands so as not to touch you. This would definitely mean no kissing.

Thanks
Paul

Dear Paul,

I can confirm Herman's post that Abbesses do give hand blessings to the laity.But they form their fingers with the sign of the cross as the laity do this (ie thumb to closest two fingers) not as clergy (ie thumb to last two fingers & bowing the first two fingers).

Perhaps those who follow the Byzantine tradition follow a different practice though. I'm more aware of the Russian practice.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Paul Cowan]

Thank you Fr. Raphael.

But what about the kissing of her hand? I don't mind being wrong, I usually am. I just don't want to offend when the time comes.

Paul

[Patrick Lee]

Thank you Fr. Raphael.

But what about the kissing of her hand? I don't mind being wrong, I usually am. I just don't want to offend when the time comes.

Paul

FWIW, this is the practice in at least one of Elder Ephraim's monasteries, the Life Giving Spring in Dunlap. I've not yet been to another Convent, but I would assume the practice is consistent at least across the GOARCH monasteries. As to why? A sign of respect, perhaps? Certainly not for the same reason that one kisses the hand of a priest.

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Thank you Fr. Raphael.

But what about the kissing of her hand? I don't mind being wrong, I usually am. I just don't want to offend when the time comes.

Paul

Yes, I do believe that it is correct to then kiss the abbess' hand. But we could always while receiving such a blessing ask whether it is proper to then kiss the hand.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Nina]

May I ask why we kiss the Abbess's hand?

Thanks
Paul

I would guess because they (monastics) are angels.

[Herman Blaydoe]

May I ask why we kiss the Abbess's hand?

Same reason we kiss the priest's or bishop's hand. We reverence the source of God's blessing. We are not reverencing the individual so much as we are reverencing God acting through this individual, so in a sense, we are reverencing the hand of God through this particular person at this particular time.