About praise, and giving the glory to God

[Peter S.]

Hello,
I wonder about why I have problems when someone praises me for something I have done or for what I am.
On the other side I must say that I want praise (and that people talk well about what I have done).

But I sometimes feel uncomfortable when people praise me, and I think that this feeling is right in a way, because I must give the glory to God and people should praise God and not me. ;)
I don't say that people must not talk well about each other, I talk more about ones response to that. It is maybe about humbleness.

And my point is my feeling, that sometimes I feel uncomfortable with being praised. It is maybe a witness that it is natural for humans to give the glory to God for everything you do. This feeling of uncomfortableness maybe is part of a bigger issue?
It is maybe right to feel uncomfortable when you are praised?

I must say that I also have problems with birch, but that is something else.

In Christ
Peter

[Father David Moser]

I too share this feeling of discomfort at being praised - and yet it is inevitable that when we do something well (whether in the world or in the Church) we are complimented. I have found that the solution for me is to respond to any compliment or praise simply by saying "Glory to God" (usually aloud but always mentally when such a response might be mistaken).

Thanksgiving is vital to the development of humility in the soul. When we consistently give thanks to God for all things, then we begin to realize that every good thing that we have comes from God. If we are constantly giving thanks to God for these things, then the soul itself will learn to automatically turn every compliment into praise of God. In this way we develop the awareness in ourselves that we are nothing and God is everything and that all we do is by God's help and God's grace. This lays the foundation for humility.

Fr David Moser

[Peter S.]

Thank you for your wise words. Glory be to our God!

I think also if we give the glory to God we will avoid pride.

It was a mistake that I wote this post in this thread, maybe it should be moved to another thread?

In Christ
Peter

[Andreas Moran]

Father David is, of course, right, and the Fathers warn us of the danger of the good opinion of people. As Bishop Eirenaios once said to me, 'I fear love'. We are to be mindful that all things we have - not only our material things, but our job, our family and friends, any talents and capabilities, opportunities to do good -are from God. If we have the opportunity to do good for someone, it is from God Who expects us to use this opportunity and to use it in the name of Christ. If the person thanks us and thinks well of us, we should thank God that He gave us this chance to put something in the right side of the balance. A friend of mine went to a piano recital; the audience wildly applauded the artist. She responded by playing Bach's 'Jesu Joy of man's desiring' thereby, as it were, deflecting the praise upwards to Whom it was due.

[Herman Blaydoe]

Accepting praise can indeed be hazardous to one's spiritual health. But I have found that the easiest way to deal with it is simply to say "Thank you" followed immediately with "To God be the glory" and be done with it.

[Peter S.]

I think that I want praise almost all the time or at least very often, and I think this is so for many people. The temptation of taking the glory yourself is always there. It is very acceptable to do so in the world, and I am influenced by that acceptance of course. Pride is the normal state of mind in this fallen world I think.
My paish priest told me that we are protected from pride when we see that everything good comes from God, as father David say.
It is not easy to say "glory be to our God", and mean it from the heart, it is easier just to say the words as a phrase. That is because it is so normal to want praise and taking the glory yourself.

In Christ
Peter

[Peter S.]

Maybe this thread should be moved to "Ascesis and the Praxis of Orthodox Life" Area, and not be in the "Test Area" ?

In Christ
Peter

[Peter S.]

It is interresting that I very often want praise and want to be proud, but then I don't like to praise others. Is there a link between these two?
Is it because I am being vainglorious then?

In Christ
Peter

[Herman Blaydoe]

I think that is an interesting point. King Solomon tells us "...a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" (Proverbs 15:23)

Perhaps we can draw a line between words of praise and words of encouragement, avoiding the former and concentrating on the latter?

[Nina]

My paish priest told me that we are protected from pride when we see that everything good comes from God, as father David say.
It is not easy to say "glory be to our God", and mean it from the heart, it is easier just to say the words as a phrase. That is because it is so normal to want praise and taking the glory yourself.

In Christ
Peter

I agree with you Peter and with everyone who advised above. And of course there is a distinction like Herman says between praise and encouragement. In order to mean the words -Glory be to God!- or -Thank God!- we need as Father David advices to repeat always to ourselves, or to others that to God belongs the glory and gratitude. Because as Andreas says we are just servants of God here, who are blessed to have the chance to manage a gift of God for all. Be that a good word, deed etc. We are and own nothing. A Saints advised (do not remember who) that when people say to us -thank you- we should respond -I did not do anything, God did it and He helped so thank Him!- when we say these words as Father David recommends a sense of discernment must be used as not to cause negative feelings to the other person.

Another suggestion that might help is what Elder Porphyrios recommends. He says in his book Wounded by Love, that we should not be beggars for love. He explains that we should do good, help our neighbor etc. because it is a commandment and should be our nature. However we should not expect love, praise, recognition etc. in return. Do good and move on and do not dwell in what the other person will do and feel. That is their business. Our business is to give love and help and not be beggars for love. This will prepare one also to love everyone without exception, even the so-called our enemies. These words of the Elder were a real eye-opener for me. No wonder he is Elder Porphyrios and I am no-one.

[Marie-Duquette]

Wouldn't another way of reverting the Glory to God be to say:

"It is all God's doing!"

Each of us here on this web site is simply His instrument, His conduit, His Handmaiden! Each trying to fulfill His Holy Will in complete surrender to His Divine Providence which has placed me/us where we are that He be glorified in and through all of His Creation around the Universe.

Each has a part to play in this awesome Symphony. Let our instrument be tuned properly, despite our various customs, cultures, languages and nations! Attuned to the Holy Spirit of Christ Jesus and of our Heavenly Father.

marie_duquette

[Paul Cowan]

In my job, compliments abound. Excessively if you ask me, but...

When people tell me "that was a good thing you did" or "you are a good man for doing that" or "I wish I could be as good as you" I quickly turn to them, wag my finger and say "thank you for saying so, but there is only One that's good, and I am not Him." with a 'do you understand?' pitch in my voice.

It catches some off guard, but most understand and nod their head in acceptance.

Paul

[Peter S.]

Wouldn't another way of reverting the Glory to God be to say:

"It is all God's doing!"

Each of us here on this web site is simply His instrument, His conduit, His Handmaiden! Each trying to fulfill His Holy Will in complete surrender to His Divine Providence which has placed me/us where we are that He be glorified in and through all of His Creation around the Universe.

marie_duquette

If I say: "It is all God's doing", I also say I acted after God's will, and maybe that it is not always true when I get compliments. It is better to just say: "glory be to God".

But we are God's instruments.

For me, here in my country it is not natural for me to respond "Glory be to God", when I am not with people from my church. Any advices?

Peter

[Father David Moser]

For me, here in my country it is not natural for me to respond "Glory be to God", when I am not with people from my church. Any advices?

Very simply - make it "natural". Any habit has to be acquired. At first a new behavior that we are trying to cultivate always feels strange, external, "not natural" - however with continued use, that feeling fades and as it become habitual, it becomes "natural" part of who you are and how you speak.

I have "acquired" such habits many times from others. I "learned" to smile from a friend who had a smile I liked - I went and practiced in front of a mirror until it was "natural" for me to smile in such a manner. I had a coworker once who responded to irritations or minor difficulties by saying "Lord have mercy" (no he was not Orthodox) and I saw great benefit in that practice - so I began to acquire it, changing the way I spoke and reacted to the world around. None of these things are "natural" to me in the sense that I was born with them or that I had them all my life, but they are "natural" to me in the sense that they are now part of my own nature, having been adopted and integrated into who I am and how I respond to the world around me.

Fr David Moser

[Effie Ganatsios]

I don't think we would be human if we didn't like praise. But, as so many others have said in different words on this thread, we should never forget that anything good is from God and anything bad is from us.

I usually reply with : 'Na eisai kala' which literally means - may you be well but in essence means, thank you for being kind, be well because of your kindness. To me this reply means that I thank the person for being kind enough to say something nice about me and that I return the kindness to the one it originally came from.

We all like praise but,as others have said, we usually feel a little awkward receiving it. For years I didn't know how to respond and usually ended up saying something inane but since I started responding with 'Na eisai kala', I feel a lot better. This particular phrase is very common here and lots of people respond in this way to not only compliments but also to favours that someone does for them.

I usually say "Glory To God" when I hear or see something good happening.
Good health, good weather, anything at all that is full of goodness. Because God is goodness and all the Glory is His.