'Don't even pray for him'

[Olympiada]

A friend told me not to pray for a clergyman who brings the worst in me. Is this sound spiritual advice?
Olympiada

[Nina]

No, dear Olympiada, we should pray for all and everyone. Actually the people that bring the worst in us are the people that teach us who we really are. And self-knowledge is what leads to humility and humility leads to Heaven. Not bad, right? Also remember that all are children of God and if we do not love those brothers that we see , how can we love God, Whom we do not see? This is what the Holy Fathers say. We need to imitate Christ who forgave, loved, and prayed for those who crucified Him and also loves and forgives all of us every second, although we are so unworthy.

Say the Jesus prayer and do not say "have mercy on him", but "have mercy on me" -that is what Elder Porphyrios advices- and God will have mercy on you both and your prayer will improve the situation.

Also now is fasting time, so temptations are multiplied.

[Father David Moser]

Here is the spiritual direction given by our Lord Jesus Christ


You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you; do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.
Matt 5:43,44

Fr David Moser

[Olympiada]

You know these are interesting replies. One person oh don't discuss that on the internet its highly personal, another person was really upset by this. I like your replies here. They are more down to earth. Thank you. And another person said neither of us acted Christian. And yet another person said that I handled it gracefully. Very interesting.

[Paul Cowan]

Perhaps the variance of replys is reflective of the some 22,000 different "Christian" sects in the world today?

[John Charmley]

Dear Olympiada,

Fr. David directs us towards one of the things that distinguishes Christianity. As we are told in St. Luke 6:32-36:

6:31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.
6:32 But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.
6:33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
6:34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back.
6:35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.
6:36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

This is inextricably linked with what St. Paul tells us about the nature of love (God's love for us being of this kind) in 1 Corinthians 13:1-7:

13:1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
13:2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
13:3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
13:4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
13:5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
13:6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Christian love does not parade itself, is not puffed up and refuses to be provoked; it does not mock or judge and then call itself 'love' to cover its nakedness and its cloven hoof. In returning good for evil and love for scorn, we walk a few steps in His way; that that is so hard for us shows why we need His help. We fail all the time - which is why it is a good thing for us that God's love is of the kind described by St. Paul here; how much we all stand in need of it - so let us make a beginning by forgiving, as we expect to be forgiven.

In Christ,

John

CAVEATS APPLY: If it appears as though these ideas are antithetic to those with which you are familiar, that is normal, so do not adjust your mindset. If you find them objectionable, consult a reputable spiritual advisor – they charge less than lawyers. Should you suffer a sense of humour failure, you may want to keep it to yourself rather than complain; resisting the impulse counts towards your daily does of self-denial. Please bear in mind that English irony does not always translate into American. That the opinions of the poster may be qualified should not be taken to mean he is; should a rush of blood to the head occur do not worry; that is normal too. Should you find it objectionable, stop reading at once.

[Olympiada]

Perhaps the variance of replys is reflective of the some 22,000 different "Christian" sects in the world today?
Actually all those replies were from our own.

[Paul Cowan]

OOPS.

This borrowed from Father Raphael's post 28 in the Eccliological dogma east and west thread. I pray you don't mind father, but it seems these words might help me retort variances in the responses she received from "well meaning" Orthodox Christians.


So much more the modern situation where to a great extent we do not have conscious schism or heresy in terms of the Church but more people to greater & lesser extent being faithful or not to what they have been taught Christ and the Church is. Many of these teachings are not at all apostolic; some are barely; and some come close to something we could almost accept. So by our account amidst Christianity outside of Orthodoxy we have a lot of tares mixed in with something which could transform itself into something good. .....

Good intention is good intention- truly it may end up at some point in the Church, and we can and must work with this in a god pleasing manner.

Paul

[Christopher Dombrowski]

A friend told me not to pray for a clergyman who brings the worst in me. Is this sound spiritual advice?
Olympiada

It depends on what the manifestation of your prayer for him is.

If you cannot avoid praying for ill will towards him, then not praying for him certainly would be good advice.

If this is not the case, and not praying for him would be the act of ill will, then it is not good advice.

[John Mitchell]

If prayer is our means of fulfilling union with God would not the only person affected negatively by this change in your prayer life be yourself

[Vasiliki D.]

Here is the spiritual direction given by our Lord Jesus Christ



Fr David Moser

AMEN to that ... this is the best response! I am still in shock that the girl who started this thread was told to NOT pray! If this came from a Christian I would be curious to understand the person's background as it sounds like they too need to be prayed for ...

I also love to use the Psalms to pray for other people ... many Elders tell us that the Psalms are prayers for each other ... the litrugical services are prayers of worship for God :-)

Add. I know this might sound harsh but the bible says to Seek first your own Salvation and all else will be given to you ... I always find comfort in this because it teaches me a level of humility I dont have ... when I look at another person and I start to criticise them or judge them or angered by them for their actions ... I remember that my primary focus should be my salvation not theirs ... if I achieve my salvation then I too will be able to pray for theirs not the other way around :-)