Whom we can marry

[Robert Hegwood]

This is just to get some clarification on something I've encountered before but others I talk to don't seem to know about it.

I have read that we are not allowed to marry into any family we have certain kinds of sacramentalized connections with. For example. If one's mother were the godmother of a young woman then the mother's sons would not be allowed to marry that young woman or any of her sisters. This would also be the case if two were joined in a sacramentalized friendship (Adelphios), then those respective friends would not be allowed to marry any of the others close blood relations.

Is this correct? Is it a custom that varies with region (Greeks do/Russians don't kind of thing). Are there any other variants on this.

And one more question. What if two people want to get married who really are not that interested in the more physically intimate side of marriage and would rather just live as brother and sister. Reasons might be both are drawn to the celibate life but neither feel suited to formal monastic life...and since marriage is blessed by the Church and is a way of living for someone else, then that might prove to be a soloution to their dilemma.

Any thoughts, insights?

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

This is just to get some clarification on something I've encountered before but others I talk to don't seem to know about it.

I have read that we are not allowed to marry into any family we have certain kinds of sacramentalized connections with. For example. If one's mother were the godmother of a young woman then the mother's sons would not be allowed to marry that young woman or any of her sisters. This would also be the case if two were joined in a sacramentalized friendship (Adelphios), then those respective friends would not be allowed to marry any of the others close blood relations.

Is this correct? Is it a custom that varies with region (Greeks do/Russians don't kind of thing). Are there any other variants on this.

Yes, there are canonical restrictions on marriage according to degree of family relationship & also on the relationship created by being godparent and godchild. This should not vary by region.

I'm not aware of what Adelphios is or how it would connect to this question.

In any case one always needs to speak with one's priest (ie the priest marrying the couple) about such matters as you bring up here.


And one more question. What if two people want to get married who really are not that interested in the more physically intimate side of marriage and would rather just live as brother and sister. Reasons might be both are drawn to the celibate life but neither feel suited to formal monastic life...and since marriage is blessed by the Church and is a way of living for someone else, then that might prove to be a soloution to their dilemma.

Such matters must be dealt with in this case with one's priest/ spiritual father.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Herman Blaydoe]

I think we have all heard the saying "blood is thicker than water", meaning that blood ties have precedence over friendship or business. Well the Spirit is thicker than blood, so spiritual ties are even more serious than family ties. Therefore people who are spiritually related cannot marry anymore than blood relatives can be married.

[Robert Hegwood]

I'm not aware of what Adelphios is or how it would connect to this question.


Thanks for the comments.

Just a point of clarification. Adelphios is a gross missspelling on my part. I meant Adelphopoiesis...brothermaking. I have read those joined in this ceremony are considered kin within the Church and those so joined are blocked from marrying into each other's immediate family.