What things require a blessing?

[Anthony]

Perhaps I should try to get this back on topic before I get thrown off.

I have heard allusions in several recent threads to special blessings for (for example) becoming vegetarian, or using the Hours in prayer. These are things I always thought, possibly in ignorance, were essentially within the competence of a layman to decide for himself, like other dietary choices or choice from the prayer material provided by the Church.

In this thread, on the other hand, about adopting a quasi-monastic lifestyle (or elements thereof), I was not surprised to see many responses urging that this kind of thing should not be done without a special blessing.

So I would like to invite comments on the general theme of what kinds of lifestyle adjustment require a special blessing (and what is the relation, in this context, of "blessing" to "permission"). A few examples (not meant to be in any way exhaustive): abstaining from alcohol; beginning or ending a relationship; moving house (or town, or country); changing job.

[M.C. Steenberg]

Dear all,

I have moved Antonios' above post, originally made in the Solitary Monastics (http://www.monachos.net/forum/showthread.php?t=4071) thread, here to its own thread, as it initiates an interesting new line of discussion.

[Andreas Moran]

There is clearly much that is within the competence of the individual layman. We are responsible for ourselves in quite large measure. Certain 'big events' in life are better undertaken with a blessing if that can be obtained, but not many spiritual fathers are bold (or competent) enough to give specific guidance in life. We can easily be deluded, and something we propose to do, which looks from every angle right, may lead to difficulty and temptation. A layman's thought to engage in a way of life - solitary 'monasticism' - not available to an experienced monk without a blessing is obviously fraught with danger. Also, it depends, I think, on a person's state. Someone who is at a time in life when he is very vulnerable and needs more 'handholding' than usual will need a blessing more than when he is his usual robust self. Another problem is that it is well nigh impossible for us to discern whether obstacles to some plan are temptations to be overcome or indications that the plan is misconceived.

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

So I would like to invite comments on the general theme of what kinds of lifestyle adjustment require a special blessing (and what is the relation, in this context, of "blessing" to "permission"). A few examples (not meant to be in any way exhaustive): abstaining from alcohol; beginning or ending a relationship; moving house (or town, or country); changing job.

All of these things require the blessing of God in the sense that one has asked to discern and follow God's will.

But there are different ways in which this is accomplished within the Church. If we have a spiritual father then it is very important that we bring not only sins to confess but also those things which mean a possible change in path for us.

Otherwise it is also important to bring these things to one's parish priest, bishop, or a trusted monastic. Here it could be that one has a trusted spiritual relationship much like a spiritual father. But there are circumstances where this isn't so. Then one must use more of one's own spiritual discernment guided by a combination of advice from others, spiritual reading and one's spiritual life.

By the way, since this doesn't involve secret or esoteric knowledge, I think in time a priest begins to see the differences in the two different ways described above. Often the difference actually comes down to the choice of the person involved. My own thought however is that the priest should keep himself to the second way of relating to his people unless the first is clearly sought after and in a real sense revealed as blessed.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Nina]

Dear Anthony,

A way is to ask the spiritual father himself on this question. He knows us and through God's grace he guides us.

I have heard many stories about how we should not embark on something without blessing, or even if there is an objection from a priest, or holy elder. Just recently an acquittance of mine divorced (for the reason that NT allows divorce). When they were dating, the priest who knew the family told to the family that the couple should not get married.

In the book of Schemanun Macaria, she advised many who came to her. She cautioned someone from traveling somewhere and told him that he might loose his life if going there at the time he planned to. There was indeed a natural disaster. However when the person asked blessing for another place to travel to, she wholeheartedly gave it.

Dear Andreas,

Loved your "handholding" expression. :)

P.S I just posted and I see that Father Raphael just submitted his reply with which I agree so much.

[Effie Ganatsios]

I have seen priests blessing just about everything here.


One example is the purchase of a new car. There is a special blessing for new possessions or something. I believe this is just an extension of an old custom here. Whenever anyone buys a new car (which they do about every other week), friends and relatives throw coins into it so that it will be as strong as steel. They say "siderenio" - strong as steel. They do the same for new born babies, well, not throw coins on the baby of course, but discreetly place a few new coins under the pillow. Paper money is not accepted. The immediate family are expected to donate gold coins (which are becoming hard to get now because governments all over the world have apparently decided that gold coins need to be controlled).

Just my contribution to the discussion.

Effie

[Andreas Moran]

A few years ago, four nuns from Greece visited the monastery here for a week. Three had a blessing to come, one didn't. The one became ill on arrival and spent the week in bed!

[Anthony]

Thank you to all of you for these very helpful replies.

I have some holiday coming up later this month, so I had better be extra careful when deciding where to go :)

[Andreas Moran]

Ah, well, Anthony, you're not a nun!

[Anthony]

Ah, well, Anthony, you're not a nun!

Thanks for reminding me, Andreas!

[M.C. Steenberg]

Dear all,

I have read this thread with interest. It might be of particular interest to look a little more closely at the traditional difference between the way obedience, in terms of obtaining blessings for specific acts / choices, is lived out in the monastic and non-monastic environments.

Especially with the accessibility of monastic texts in English to wider audiences these days, this is an area that is often misunderstood.

INXC, dcn Matthew

[Katerina]

I have seen priests blessing just about everything here.


One example is the purchase of a new car. There is a special blessing for new possessions or something. I believe this is just an extension of an old custom here. Whenever anyone buys a new car (which they do about every other week), friends and relatives throw coins into it so that it will be as strong as steel. They say "siderenio" - strong as steel. They do the same for new born babies, well, not throw coins on the baby of course, but discreetly place a few new coins under the pillow. Paper money is not accepted. The immediate family are expected to donate gold coins (which are becoming hard to get now because governments all over the world have apparently decided that gold coins need to be controlled).

Just my contribution to the discussion.

Effie

I know it has been tradition with friends of ours and we have done this too, whereupon at the purchase of a new car, we have it "blessed" (yes, there are actual prayers for a "vehicle"- kolesnitsa, in Russian) so as to hopefully have all who travel in it, do so safely with God's blessing. With the birth of a baby, I don't remember exactly why (and maybe someone here can better say why), but when my babies were born, I got a visit from my parish priest on the third day of their birth, with a prayer and blessing of the child, and then again, he came on the 9th day, for a prayer and blessing on the naming of the child. I know this dosen't officially come under the blessings and/or permission question originally asked, but just contributing to Effie's discussion on the traditions in her country.

But, as to permission or a blessing, I know that one needs that to go to certain monasteries when visiting, especially abroad (not really much here in the US). I was given a blessing to be able to go and visit a Monastery in Bulgaria. Truly, without that, I would not have been able to go. Such is their life, that they need to be attentive to the visitor that comes to stay with them, and it is, while wonderful, a distraction to their monastic daily life.

Other times in my life, I just KNOW I should have gotten a blessing from my spiritual father to go and do, but, of my own will, I went and did it, with disastrous results. Lesson learned, and the struggle goes on.

Katerina

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

Dear all,

I have read this thread with interest. It might be of particular interest to look a little more closely at the traditional difference between the way obedience, in terms of obtaining blessings for specific acts / choices, is lived out in the monastic and non-monastic environments.

Especially with the accessibility of monastic texts in English to wider audiences these days, this is an area that is often misunderstood.

INXC, dcn Matthew

In a monastery one seeks a blessing for all of one's actions. This is received both through obedience to the rule of the monastery and its everyday life that one is part of. And this is also received by asking directly for a blessing when about to do some activity. The context here is an especially intense level of obedience & openness which must permeate one's every action. The key here is one's conscious obedience to a unique and martyric form of life within the Church.

Such a kind of obedience does not belong in a non-monastic environment. Trying to impose the standards of a monastic onto one's life outside of a monastery (or having someone try to impose this on you) risks being deformed into 'being told what to do.' Such relationships rapidly become distorted and potentially abusive. Not that obedience is not needed outside of a monastery. It very much is for deeper spiritual growth. But the nature of this obedience is very different from that of a monastery.

In Christ- Fr Raphael

[Effie Ganatsios]

I know it has been tradition with friends of ours and we have done this too, whereupon at the purchase of a new car, we have it "blessed" (yes, there are actual prayers for a "vehicle"- kolesnitsa, in Russian) so as to hopefully have all who travel in it, do so safely with God's blessing. With the birth of a baby, I don't remember exactly why (and maybe someone here can better say why), but when my babies were born, I got a visit from my parish priest on the third day of their birth, with a prayer and blessing of the child, and then again, he came on the 9th day, for a prayer and blessing on the naming of the child. I know this dosen't officially come under the blessings and/or permission question originally asked, but just contributing to Effie's discussion on the traditions in her country.


Katerina

Katerina, the coin giving is tradition, nothing to do with our religion.

Here the mother takes the baby to church on the 40th day and is blessed by the priest. This is also the end of the isolation period (see Old Testament)when new mothers were not permitted to go out. Isolation periods are things of the past however.

Effie

[Katerina]

Katerina, the coin giving is tradition, nothing to do with our religion.

Here the mother takes the baby to church on the 40th day and is blessed by the priest. This is also the end of the isolation period (see Old Testament)when new mothers were not permitted to go out. Isolation periods are things of the past however.

Effie

Oh, yes, sorry if you misunderstood me, Effie. I was just contributing myself with traditions. Some may only be something that the russians do- I don't know, so it is interesting to hear about. :-)

With both my children, they were baptized on the 40th day, and I was "churched" and then able to participate. I had other friends who had their children baptized before then, and they waitied at the reception area until the baptism was over, as they could not participate due to their "uncleanliness".

I do know that we still, as women are not allowed to venerate and kiss icons or the cross or go to recieve the Holy Gifts if we are "unclean"...I have heard in very rare circumstances, there are blessings from the spiritual father to be able to go to confession only if they feel the need to during that time.

Katerina

[Andreas Moran]

A priest in Cyprus I knew said to a certain man who phoned him late one evening to ask whether he should buy a car, 'I'll bless the car when you've bought it, but don't phone me for a blessing to buy it - that's your decision'.

[Father David Moser]

With both my children, they were baptized on the 40th day, and I was "churched" and then able to participate. I had other friends who had their children baptized before then, and they waitied at the reception area until the baptism was over, as they could not participate due to their "uncleanliness".


Actually, the prayers for the churching of the mother can be read over her before the 40 days are finished if there is some reason to do so. I have, in the past, done this, for example, when the child was born during Great Lent and the parents wanted to baptize the child before Holy Week so that both mother and child could receive the Mysteries at Pascha. Once the mother is "churched" she has the blessing to return to full participation in the life of the Church. The child is also "churched" when it is baptized (after the baptism the priest takes the child up to the Holy Doors (and if it is a boy into the altar and around the Holy Table), and raises the child up to God making the sign of a cross saying "the infant N is churched in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit". He then turns and lays the child on the ambo where the parents/godparents come and pick him up and take him home. This is the blessing for the child to begin his full participation in the life of the Church.

Fr David Moser

[Effie Ganatsios]

Actually, the prayers for the churching of the mother can be read over her before the 40 days are finished if there is some reason to do so. I have, in the past, done this, for example, when the child was born during Great Lent and the parents wanted to baptize the child before Holy Week so that both mother and child could receive the Mysteries at Pascha. Once the mother is "churched" she has the blessing to return to full participation in the life of the Church. The child is also "churched" when it is baptized (after the baptism the priest takes the child up to the Holy Doors (and if it is a boy into the altar and around the Holy Table), and raises the child up to God making the sign of a cross saying "the infant N is churched in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit". He then turns and lays the child on the ambo where the parents/godparents come and pick him up and take him home. This is the blessing for the child to begin his full participation in the life of the Church.

Fr David Moser

Fr David, do you know anything about "baptism" in the air, as it is called here.
Before the 40 day purification ceremony, when a baby is ill and the parents think it might not survive for long, it is sometimes baptized in the air. My mother told me that this is how I was baptized because they thought I was going to die before my proper christening.


Is this something that is still done? It's something I have never thought to ask about but reading your post, I remembered what my mother had told me.

Effie

[Father David Moser]

Fr David, do you know anything about "baptism" in the air,

I don't know of this practice in my experience. When I have been in a hospital situation with a preemie (in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and the parents requested baptism for a child in danger of dying, I would take sterile water (from the hospital), bless it and then baptize the child simply by wetting my fingers and touching the head of the child. Pretty minimal, but in order to comply with hospital protocol for an infant in an isolation incubator (so that only sterile stuff goes in the box and all contact is through a glove box) that's about as good as we could get it.

For parents caught in a situation where there is fear that a child will die before baptism, I would suggest using a little holy water to pour on the child (not so much that the child is in danger from the water) with the baptismal formula (the infant N is baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit) and at the mention of each person of the Trinity splash a bit on the infant's head (for a total of three times, obviously) then should the child survive take him to the Church asap (or call the priest to the home!) and have him complete the baptism with the remainder of the prayers and the sacrament of chrismation. If there is no holy water (for whatever reason) then a little fresh water will suffice.

Fr David Moser

Fr David Moser

[Effie Ganatsios]

I don't know of this practice in my experience. When I have been in a hospital situation with a preemie (in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and the parents requested baptism for a child in danger of dying, I would take sterile water (from the hospital), bless it and then baptize the child simply by wetting my fingers and touching the head of the child. Pretty minimal, but in order to comply with hospital protocol for an infant in an isolation incubator (so that only sterile stuff goes in the box and all contact is through a glove box) that's about as good as we could get it.

For parents caught in a situation where there is fear that a child will die before baptism, I would suggest using a little holy water to pour on the child (not so much that the child is in danger from the water) with the baptismal formula (the infant N is baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit) and at the mention of each person of the Trinity splash a bit on the infant's head (for a total of three times, obviously) then should the child survive take him to the Church asap (or call the priest to the home!) and have him complete the baptism with the remainder of the prayers and the sacrament of chrismation. If there is no holy water (for whatever reason) then a little fresh water will suffice.

Fr David Moser

Fr David Moser


This must be what she meant. I have to remember to ask her next time I telephone her. Does the above qualify as a proper baptism? Or does there have to be another ceremony in church when the child is well enough?

Effie

[Father David Moser]

This must be what she meant. I have to remember to ask her next time I telephone her. Does the above qualify as a proper baptism? Or does there have to be another ceremony in church when the child is well enough?

Effie

As I noted in my comments, that the priest should be contacted immediately and he will read the remainder of the prayers for the baptism and chrimsate the child thus completing the reception of the infant into the Church. No further action is necessary or possible as the sacrament of baptism can only be given once.

There is a separate set of prayers for the Churching of Mother and Child and these should be done when the mother and child return to the Church for the first time.

Fr David Moser

[Effie Ganatsios]

Thank you for explaining. I always knew that that was the way I was baptized but I never questioned it before now. I'm glad it was a proper baptism.

Effie

[Herman Blaydoe]

This must be what she meant. I have to remember to ask her next time I telephone her. Does the above qualify as a proper baptism? Or does there have to be another ceremony in church when the child is well enough?

I believe that the child should be chrismated by a priest as soon as the child is able.

[Nina]

I don't know of this practice in my experience. When I have been in a hospital situation with a preemie (in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and the parents requested baptism for a child in danger of dying, I would take sterile water (from the hospital), bless it and then baptize the child simply by wetting my fingers and touching the head of the child. Pretty minimal, but in order to comply with hospital protocol for an infant in an isolation incubator (so that only sterile stuff goes in the box and all contact is through a glove box) that's about as good as we could get it.

For parents caught in a situation where there is fear that a child will die before baptism, I would suggest using a little holy water to pour on the child (not so much that the child is in danger from the water) with the baptismal formula (the infant N is baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit) and at the mention of each person of the Trinity splash a bit on the infant's head (for a total of three times, obviously) then should the child survive take him to the Church asap (or call the priest to the home!) and have him complete the baptism with the remainder of the prayers and the sacrament of chrismation. If there is no holy water (for whatever reason) then a little fresh water will suffice.

Fr David Moser

Fr David Moser

Dear Father Your Blessings.

What if one works in the NICU and a preemie is passing away, but the parents do not perform baptism. Should the person who works there baptize the baby, because that is a soul, who is leaving the world without such opportunity... and out of love for this pure soul, who will be in Heaven, but according to the Fathers not able to see the glory of God if not baptized...?

[Father David Moser]

What if one works in the NICU and a preemie is passing away, but the parents do not perform baptism. Should the person who works there baptize the baby, because that is a soul, who is leaving the world without such opportunity... and out of love for this pure soul, who will be in Heaven, but according to the Fathers not able to see the glory of God if not baptized...?

I would say no - not unless the parents request this. God is the One Who saves us and so all you can do is to place the child in the hands of God. Commend such a one to the care of the Mother of God.

Fr David Moser

[Nina]

I would say no - not unless the parents request this. God is the One Who saves us and so all you can do is to place the child in the hands of God. Commend such a one to the care of the Mother of God.

Fr David Moser

Thank you Father.

[Effie Ganatsios]

I found this in my files. It was originally from the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America.


"For the Blessing of Any Object

Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.

O Creator and Author of the human race; Giver of all spiritual Graces, Bestower or eternal Salvation: do You, the same Lord, send down Your Holy Spirit with a blessing from on high upon this (name of object being blessed), that, fortified by the might of Your heavenly protection, it may be potent unto bodily salvation and help and aid unto all who shall make use of it; through Jesus Christ our Lord, Who together with You, the Eternal Father, and Your All Holy, Good and Life-creating Spirit, we send up glory, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen"

[Herman Blaydoe]

We should ask for a blessing for EVERYTHING we do. But that does not mean we ask permission before we do anything. The monastics of Holy Transfiguration Monastery have a wonderful "habit." Whatever they do, and especially when things seem to be going "wrong", they say "let it be Blessed!" So whatever we do, whether it turns out "right" or not, let it be blessed! And let us all try, in as much as we are able, to only do such things as are worthy of a blessing.

Or so it seems to this bear of little brain.
Herman the Pooh

[Anthony]

Another problem is that it is well nigh impossible for us to discern whether obstacles to some plan are temptations to be overcome or indications that the plan is misconceived.

I think Andreas puts very nicely here a dilemma that has been troubling me for quite a while in several areas. I have a strong tendency to interpret problems as there to be overcome (a test of my determination, if you like). Maybe I need to be more alert to the possibility that they are nudges in a different direction. As Andreas says, it is well nigh impossible to discern. But are there any general considerations here which might be useful?

[Michael Stickles]

I think Andreas puts very nicely here a dilemma that has been troubling me for quite a while in several areas. I have a strong tendency to interpret problems as there to be overcome (a test of my determination, if you like). Maybe I need to be more alert to the possibility that they are nudges in a different direction. As Andreas says, it is well nigh impossible to discern. But are there any general considerations here which might be useful?

I think one would be getting wise counsel, especially from one's spiritual father. As C.S. Lewis once said (I might be paraphrasing) "Two heads are better than one, not because either is infallible, but because they are unlikely to go wrong in the same direction." If I see an obstacle one way, but my spiritual father sees it the other way, it would be a good idea for me to rethink my opinion. If others I deem spiritually wise also see it the other way, it would be a very good idea for me to rethink my opinion.

In Christ,
Mike

[Anthony]

Dear Mike,

This is wise advice, and I do indeed discuss these situations with as many people as possible. I was just hoping somebody might come up with one of those patristic quotations which sometimes enable one to see things in a new light (as sometimes happens here). I am not, of course (or at least not intentionally) using the internet as a substitute for personal counselling.

In Christ,
Anthony

[Kusanagi]

St Isaac the Syrian says everything that you do should have a blessing. There are no exceptions.

[Andreas Moran]

The points here cross-refer to the Thread about contemporary elders. An elder is one who can give this kind of guidance in life (not just spiritual guidance) clearly and unequivocally. He can discern God's will for a person and what course of action is right. He also sees a person's character more clearly than the person himself can. While to an extent it is a matter of degree, we should not generally expect such things of spiritual fathers. Knowing the difference between a spiritual father and an elder is important because if we go to a spiritual father expecting too much, we may become disillusioned and discouraged. The opinions about this of the Fathers here would be valuable.

[Fr Raphael Vereshack]

The points here cross-refer to the Thread about contemporary elders. An elder is one who can give this kind of guidance in life (not just spiritual guidance) clearly and unequivocally. He can discern God's will for a person and what course of action is right. He also sees a person's character more clearly than the person himself can. While to an extent it is a matter of degree, we should not generally expect such things of spiritual fathers. Knowing the difference between a spiritual father and an elder is important because if we go to a spiritual father expecting too much, we may become disillusioned and discouraged. The opinions about this of the Fathers here would be valuable.

For myself I think you've summed this up very well Andreas along with an appropriate warning about demanding expectations.

In Christ- Fr Raphael