Confession dilemma - frequency of communion for children

[Sieglinde McGinnis]

Glory to Jesus Christ! I need advice on how to properly instruct one of my children on the value of frequent confession. Two of my three children are very willing and even ask if I will please remind them to leave enough time before Divine Liturgy for them to confess. The third is, however, a tough nut to crack. I am setting a good example by frequent confession on my own part, we keep family prayer time regularly at home, we discuss Church teaching and Scripture fairly often and I am open about my own attempts to grow in holiness. Should I continue my prayers that the Holy Spirit move him to confess or should I tell him that he cannot approach Communion until he confesses? Any advice will be humbly and gratefully received.

[Father David Moser]

Glory to Jesus Christ! I need advice on how to properly instruct one of my children on the value of frequent confession. Two of my three children are very willing a... The third is, however, a tough nut to crack. ... should I tell him that he cannot approach Communion until he confesses? Any advice will be humbly and gratefully received.

The practice of the Russian Orthodox Church is generally that children below the age of about 6 or 7 may receive the Mysteries without making a confession first. The practice between the ages of 6-12 is a little less clear cut with some clergy requiring confession at each communion while others will be a little more lenient. My personal practice for children in that age range is to require monthly confession in order to commune. After age 12, it is pretty much a universal requirement that one confesses before each communion. So I guess the answer to your question depends heavily on the age of this child.

There is a good book that I saw (I loaned the copy I bought out already to a family with children) called "My First Confession" or something like that. It is a big format, glossy paper full color format book that is a "family" book that you can use with your children to prepare them for their first confession. It is available in both Russian and English and I got my copy at the Holy Virgin Cathedral bookstore in San Francisco. (it was about $18 iirc).

Fr David Moser

[Rick H.]

After age 12, it is pretty much a universal requirement that one confesses before each communion.




Dear Father David,

I have not heard of this before, and I am just trying to learn here. Does the above mean that everyone over age 12 in ROCOR confesses every week before communion (or however often it is taken)?

Thank you.

In Christ,
Rick

[Father David Moser]

I have not heard of this before, and I am just trying to learn here. Does the above mean that everyone over age 12 in ROCOR confesses every week before communion (or however often it is taken)?

In my experience, as a general rule, yes.

[Rick H.]

In my experience, as a general rule, yes.


Thank you Father David.

[Father Serafim]

From my own pastoral experience I encourage children as young as 4 yrs to come and talk with me before receiving the Holy Mysteries. Now I know that this might be a religious exercise, even a game that the child can come like their older siblings and parents, however it makes for a good relationship. They come up with their older sister or brother and then receive a blessing. I am always surprised at the piety of these little ones and furthermore the effect it has on the family as a whole. There was a time that children could only come to Confession after the age of 7. One young boy was terrified by this and burst into tears when I asked him about it in the Trapeza. I took him outside and we walked around the Church while I explained what Confession meant. He smiled and said that he was looking forward to talking with me next week. Glory be to God!

[Father David Moser]

From my own pastoral experience I encourage children as young as 4 yrs to come and talk with me before receiving the Holy Mysteries.

I agree! Small children often want to come to confession because they see parents and siblings doing so. Confession for these small children must be handled quite differently from that for adults; for example, they rarely recognize that they have done anything wrong - but they do know if they did something that made Mommy sad or mad. And it is a good chance to teach children about short prayers and prayer rules.

However, such small children while encouraged if they want to come to give a confession are never forced to do so nor are they required to do so in any way. It's simply an "exercise" in encouraging the natural impulses to do things that are spiritually beneficial and helping them develop good spiritual habits at an early age.

Fr David Moser

[Nicolaj]

Dear Brethren!

It is my own experience to take my little one along wherever I go to confess. She likes it to receive the blessing from the priest. Also at our church I see that the younger children are encouraged to go to confess before they go to communion. We start here also at an age under 7, although it is left to the children and their parents to let them go to confess.

Christos voskrese! Nicolaj

[Sieglinde McGinnis]

Glory to Jesus Christ!
Thank you all for the input - I should probably have said initially that the child who resists confessing is a very bright 10, and the two who go willingly are 8 (girl, who writes down her misdeeds so as not to omit anything) and 6 1/2 (boy). I did speak briefly to my priest about this and he told me to do what I thought was the right thing.....I have therefore decided to tell the 10 year old that he cannot receive until he confesses. Not that his deeds are so awful, but it is so easy to get used to not confessing little things, and then it is easier still to believe that some big sin is not that big and then where are you - receiving unworthily.

Sieglinde

[Nina]

From my own pastoral experience I encourage children as young as 4 yrs to come and talk with me before receiving the Holy Mysteries. Now I know that this might be a religious exercise, even a game that the child can come like their older siblings and parents, however it makes for a good relationship. They come up with their older sister or brother and then receive a blessing. I am always surprised at the piety of these little ones and furthermore the effect it has on the family as a whole.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

[Sieglinde McGinnis]

Glory to Jesus Christ!

A little update, we have hurdled the resistance to confession. I don't know what the problem was, but he is past it now and we're all now availing ourselves of the Sacrament with proper regularity. Thank you to those of you who were praying for this intention.