Role of a spiritual father/mother

[Amy]

I know this topic has been discussed, although I didn't find the thread I was looking for in the search feature.

Am I correct in understanding that a spiritual father (or mother) is one who is like a mentor, to help us in discerning the christian path in life? One who corrects, guides and gives counsel?

At various times in my life, God has brought individuals across my path that have filled this need. I would call them a spiritual guide, an anamchara in the Gaelic. But I wonder if in Orthodoxy this means something more, and perhaps I should be seeking a more defined relationship with a spiritual father.

The Hermitage of the Holy Cross is near to me and I've visited and have enjoyed conversing with the monks there. My heart is glad that they are so open and patient with my many questions....is it, in fact, a monk's role to be a spiritual guide or mentor or spiritual father to laity?

[Father David Moser]

The Hermitage of the Holy Cross is near to me and I've visited and have enjoyed conversing with the monks there. My heart is glad that they are so open and patient with my many questions....is it, in fact, a monk's role to be a spiritual guide or mentor or spiritual father to laity?

Some monks do indeed have this 'role' even to the point of having it part of their monastic obedience to give direction and guidance to not only the monastic brotherhood, but also to the laity who come as pilgrims and visitors. Not all monks, however, have this blessing or responsibility. I know many of the fathers at Holy Cross (Fathers Seraphim and Andrew are old old acquaintances of mine) and some of them would be wonderful spiritual fathers, while others will remain in the background.

One thing about the relationship with a spiritual father is that you should be looking to only one spiritual father for direction. It is not good to go and seek advice here and there from a variety of spiritual guides. Find one and stick with him - if you wish to visit some other spiritual person and ask for direction, ask first your spiritual father's blessing so that he can help you put all these things into a single context.

Fr David Moser

[Amy]

Father Bless!

Thank you so much for your kind reply and advice, Fr. David. I will be visiting Holy Cross again soon and will certainly try to meet Fathers Seraphim and Andrew to let them know I met you @ Monachos.

Also, I made the mistake last visit of stretching out my hand to shake upon 'hello'. What is the proper way to greet the monks? I thought of just making a bow while saying hello, is this ok? It is a concerted effort for me not to shake someone's hand when greeting them =-)

[Father David Moser]

Also, I made the mistake last visit of stretching out my hand to shake upon 'hello'. What is the proper way to greet the monks? I thought of just making a bow while saying hello, is this ok? It is a concerted effort for me not to shake someone's hand when greeting them =-)

For any priest (both Fr Seraphim and Fr Andrew are priestmonks) - monastic or otherwise - one should always greet him by asking his blessing (small bow then extend your hands palms up, right on top of left while saying "Father bless"). For other monastics, I would guess that the "handshake" would be appropriate.

Fr David Moser

[Effie Ganatsios]

Amy, Father David has answered you very well.

Can I just add my own experience?

A few years ago a friend (a very pious friend who visits Aghios Oros - the Holy Mountain - every year and who was a friend of Elder Paisios) told me about a saint - like metropolitan we had here - the Metropolitan of Siatista, who fell asleep in the Lord two years ago. My friend advised me to telephone and make an appointment so that I could confess and perhaps become his spiritual child. For one or another unimportant reason I never got around to phoning. I have regretted this so much since then! Spiritual fathers are special people, you need to know that they are truly holy men. We are advised by the fathers to be careful and select wisely.

Mother Gavriela so wisely advised us not to let any opportunity go to waste. Always say yes, and if it is not God's will then something will happen to stop you. I did not even say yes! Father David has given you two names - don't be like me and foolishly let God's opportunities go to waste.

Effie

[M.C. Steenberg]

I've moved this thread into the Practical Life in the Church (http://www.monachos.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=292) area, where you will also find a number of existing threads that deal with similar topics. Perhaps the most relevant to queries here is:
The nature and role of the spiritual father (http://www.monachos.net/forum/showthread.php?t=3886) (approx. 40 posts)Others in this area include:
On seeking a spiritual father (http://www.monachos.net/forum/showthread.php?t=4149)
An 'authentic' spiritual guide? (http://www.monachos.net/forum/showthread.php?t=3977)
Why I don't have a spiritual father (http://www.monachos.net/forum/showthread.php?t=2633)
Spiritual fathers (http://www.monachos.net/forum/showthread.php?t=1378)You'll also find related discussions in threads not explicitly dedicated to the topic, through use of the forum search feature (http://www.monachos.net/forum/search.php).

INXC, Dcn Matthew

[Amy]

Thanks again for the replies, advice and links to related threads. I appreciate your time.