Embryo adoption

[Elisabeta]

My husband and I, both Orthodox Christians, were married 7 years ago. I thought that we would have a large family together as, since before marriage, I believed that making a rich home life for our family to be my vocation. To our sorrow, though, we were unable to conceive and have suffered greatly over the years on account of our barrenness.

Last year, the day before Great Lent began, I conceived... then lost the child on Bright Friday. One of the greatest blessings of my life was that I felt at the time only gratitude and hope: that the Lord had heard our prayers and at last granted us a child, even if we could not keep it.

We continue to try to conceive a child, though as I am approaching 40, we are now also investigating adoption. In researching this, I recently came across information about embryo adoption.

Essentially, couples who have created embryos through IVF procedures may have more embryos than the couple can or will bear. These surplus embyros have a dim fate: they are either discarded, given by the couple for medical research and then destroyed, or, in the case of embryo adoption, legally deeded and transferred to another couple to bear and raise the child(ren) as their own.

My husband and I would not create children through the use of IVF, but we regard embryos to be very early human life and worthy of the opportunity to be born and then strive to reach their fullest potential with God.

We plan to talk to a couple of discerning priests that we know... but I know there to be discerning priests here, too, and many others who have the mind of the Church or other carefully considered perspectives. I thank you for all thoughts on this matter. We are grateful for your prayers as well.

Elisabeta

p.s. If anyone has recommendations for domestic or international adoptions programs, I would also welcome them. Thank you very much.

[Marianthy]

Dear Sister in Christ Elisaveta,

Your post has struck a cord in my heart! My husband and I were infertile for 7 years as well, and we were lucky to achieve pregnancy through the mirace of IVF.

After much discussion with our parish priest, and with another priest who was also undergoing IVF, we went ahead and gave it a try, three times to be exact. The process is daunting to say the least! Bear in mind that through extensive research we were able to understand, and follow through, on an IVF "plan" that would not allow for "unwanted" embryos. This of course made our IVF attempt more difficult, but we did have a beautiful daughter!

We also tried to adopt. The decision to adopt came after our third IVF attempt, which failed. Just when we were about to travel to bring our son home, I was diagnosed with Stage III cancer and had to stop the adoption. We were devestated at the time, both by the diagnosis and by the failed adoption, but my husband and I were sure that had God wanted us to have more children in our life, it would have happened. And this is not to say that we won't adopt in the future, but right now ife dictates that I recover form my yearlong battle with cancer.

I urge you to speak to your spiritual father/mother on this issue. Adoption is wonderful...it truly is a privelege to take on a child and open your heart to him/her. We were adopting internationally from China.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me!

In Christ,
Marianthy

[Father David Moser]

After much discussion with our parish priest, and with another priest who was also undergoing IVF, we went ahead and gave it a try, three times to be exact. The process is daunting to say the least! Bear in mind that through extensive research we were able to understand, and follow through, on an IVF "plan" that would not allow for "unwanted" embryos. This of course made our IVF attempt more difficult, but we did have a beautiful daughter!

Although IVF is considered by the Russian Church to be an inadmissible form of conception, the objection is based on first the introduction of a "third party" (an unrelated donor or surrogate mother) into the marriage and second on the creation of "surplus embryos". However what you describe above (using only the sperm and egg of the married couple and the creation of no "spare embryos") would seem to avoid those pitfalls and so do not fall under the objections which are the basis for the position of the Church.

Likewise the adoption of a "spare embryo" seems to avoid the above mentioned pitfalls in that the sanctity of the marriage is not violated any more than it would be by the adoption of a child which has already been born. In this light it seems that such an act might be considered not only appropriate but also laudatory (in that it saves the life of a child) for an Orthodox Christian couple.

I am, of course, only one parish priest and no one of consequence, however, I have ventured to pose this question to some of those who are more learned than I and who have some responsibility for investigating and evaluating such questions for the Church. When and if I receive any additional information from them, I will pass it along if appropriate.

Fr David Moser

[Elisabeta]

Fr. Raphael, thank you for your thoughtful post and also for your blessing. We do need God to guide our course very much. I am very grateful to have your insight on this subject.

Marianthy, thank you for sharing some of your experience, so arduously gained! What heartbreak to go through a failed adoption and the cancer, too. But I am so glad that you were able to have the blessing of your dear daughter.

I will remember in prayer your battle with cancer and your own hopes for the future. I never doubt that God will give us strength to bear what we must. I just cling to the hem of His garment and hold on no matter what.

Fr David, I appreciate your reasoning. I would also be grateful to have the considerations of those whom you mentioned. Thank you for asking them!

Thank you all so much for your kindness.