Emotionalism or not within confession

[Paul Cowan]

Since Lent is once again upon us, I find myself as I do throughout the year preparing for confession. I have read, I think it was St. Ephraim the Syrian, that said one tear during confession is all it takes to move Christ to forgiveness.

I have cried during confession. I have also not shed a single tear. I have been sorry for what I have done, and at other times, not so penetential. Father absolved me each time regardless of my emotional state. I know the heart dictates the level of absolution from Christ, since the priest cannot "see" into my heart.

My question, how much value does God place on tears if I can't bring myself to shed them during confession. How "emotional" does my outward versus inward appearance dictate my forgiveness of my sins?

Paul

[D. W. Dickens]

I'm a very emotional fellow and have become concerned that some of my hysteria masks a deeper desire to not wrestle with my sins, rather to surrender to them and make excuses.

In no way do I mean to imply you are doing this (I don't even know if I am doing this, but rather am simply concerned about the possibility).

I can't find the direct quote because I'm at work, but I was reading a book someone gave me of Dorotheus' sayings and at one point he was very helpful about emotionalism. While he discourages it, he said that it can still be useful if you can "transform" the emotional energy into spiritual benefit.

I think of it in modern terms like converting AC to DC electricity. The AC isn't useful for your spiritual growth, but when transformed to DC it is useful.

He suggests using it to increase your mindfulness of your sin and your repentance.

I do not speak as one who knows anything. (Here I quote one of my favorite Christian bloggers Fr Stephen Freeman) I am an ignorant man. But I'll offer Dorotheus' advice as he is a worthy source of wisdom.

[Herman Blaydoe]

Since Lent is once again upon us, I find myself as I do throughout the year preparing for confession. I have read, I think it was St. Ephraim the Syrian, that said one tear during confession is all it takes to move Christ to forgiveness.

I have cried during confession. I have also not shed a single tear. I have been sorry for what I have done, and at other times, not so penetential. Father absolved me each time regardless of my emotional state. I know the heart dictates the level of absolution from Christ, since the priest cannot "see" into my heart.

My question, how much value does God place on tears if I can't bring myself to shed them during confession. How "emotional" does my outward versus inward appearance dictate my forgiveness of my sins?

Paul

I have been told that tears are a gift from God. We should not demand gifts, nor should we "expect" them. We merely greatfully accept them when they come. I have also been told that God's Grace does not depend on our emotional state. Even merely "going through the motions" has value since we are making an effort through the spiritually dry spells, and God rewards our efforts. Bishop Anthony (Bloom) wrote that when God seems most absent, that is the beginning of true prayer.

Our Lord told His apostles that the sins they forgive on earth are forgiven in Heaven. He didn't say anything about the mental or emotional state of the person being forgiven.

Or so it seems to this bear of little brain

Herman the Pooh

[Vasiliki D.]

Dear Paul, tears come from repentance; repentance and confession are not the same thing. Repentance is truly a gift from God that can occur in or out of confession - confession is an act: a sacramental act.



Abba Serapion used to say: “When I was a young man I lived with my spiritual father, and at mealtimes, prompted by the devil, I would steal a rusk as I got up from the table and eat it without my father’s knowledge. Because I persisted in this habit, I was utterly overcome by it and was unable to conquer it. Though I was condemned by my own conscience, I was ashamed to speak of it to my father. But through God’s love it happened that certain brethren came to the old man for advice and asked him about their thoughts.

The elder replied that nothing so harms a monk and brings such joy to the demons as the hiding of ones thoughts from ones spiritual father. He also spoke to them about self-control. As this was being said I came to myself and, thinking that God had revealed my past mistakes to the elder, I was pricked with compunction and began to cry, throwing from my pocket the rusk which I had stolen as usual.

Casting myself to the ground I begged for his forgiveness for my past faults and his prayers for my future safety. Then the old man said: “My child, your confession has freed you, although I was silent. You have slain the demon that was wounding you because of your silence, by expressing openly what you were keeping to yourself. Until this moment you ensured that he would be your master by not opposing or rebuking him.


Like a sword, the mystery of confession is a weapon of war, that we are told by our Church to use to oppose and rebuke the devil. Each time we pick up this weapon and we use it, we affirm that we belong to God's army and we listen to our Commander and Chief's who says that by our participation in this mystery, this weapong WILL work against the enemy.

We dont actually need to understand WHY THIS weapon works to use it ... all we need to know is how to use it against the enemy. So, if you are using the sword and are un-emotional or you are emotional in the battle- the end result is the same because you trusted in the choice of weapon instructed by your Commander.

Submission is humility not understanding.

[Mary]

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9
No condition of tears there. I have rarely every cried during confessions. However, I have cried endlessly, while preparing for confessions. I wondered, for a while, if it would be more effective for me to wait till I get to church to cry. But then, I wondered, why? Do I need to convince the priest, with my tears, that I am truly sorry? What good will that do me? I know the truth in my heart. The presence of tears doesn't make my remorse more real, or the lack make it less. If my tears motivate me to change, then, they are good tears. But if they only make me feel sorry for myself, and rob me of the strength that I need to change, then they are bad tears.

So, I ignore my tears. I don't try to hold them off till confession time. I don't try to re-create the same emotions and have a second cry during confession. However, when they do come, I try not to hold them back. I don't try to figure out if they are out of self pity or true compunction. I just ask God to forgive me, if they are indeed, due to self pity. I sort of figured, He'll know better than I do.

Sometimes, I just need to cry. Sometimes I don't. I don't know why. It always helps to release the build up of heaviness in my heart. But, I can't always cry from heaviness. I'm never really sure what causes me to cry. Sometimes, I feel like a good cry would really help, but it never comes. That makes me more miserable. For a while. Then, the dam breaks, and I'm free again. For a while. I guess it's just an ongoing thing.

m

[Moses Anthony]

Since Lent is once again upon us, I find myself as I do throughout the year preparing for confession. I have read, I think it was St. Ephraim the Syrian, that said one tear during confession is all it takes to move Christ to forgiveness.

I have cried during confession. I have also not shed a single tear. I have been sorry for what I have done, and at other times, not so penetential. Father absolved me each time regardless of my emotional state. I know the heart dictates the level of absolution from Christ, since the priest cannot "see" into my heart.

My question, how much value does God place on tears if I can't bring myself to shed them during confession. How "emotional" does my outward versus inward appearance dictate my forgiveness of my sins?

Paul

Dear Paul,
I would suppose that it matters most to God, as to what was the cause of your shedding of tears. If they are the result of a truly repentant heart, a tender heart for the love of God.... The true nature of the heart is the thing; as it is the heart that God looks upon, when discerning the true motive of all our actions.

the sinful and unworthy servant,
moses