Addressing a nun or abbess in a letter

[Patrick Lee]

What's the proper way to address an abbess (or nun) in a letter. Is it appropriate to ask her blessing as in "Mother, bless"?

[Katherine]

I often write to an Abbess, as I lived in a convent for a year and still keep in contact with the sisters. I usually begin the letter as I would when writing to a priest. For example: Dear Abbess (Name),(or Mother {Name}). (Then on the next line): Mother, bless! (And then when finishing the letter): Kissing your right hand...

[Robert Hegwood]

I do not understand the reference about kissing an Abbess right hand.

I thought this type of closing was appropriate for priests and bishops because they preside at the Divine Liturgy and their right hand is very closely involved in the consecration, so we kiss it. This cannot be so of an Abbess so far as I know. So is there another reason to close by an offering to kiss of her right hand?

[Father David Moser]

I thought this type of closing was appropriate for priests and bishops because they preside at the Divine Liturgy and their right hand is very closely involved in the consecration, so we kiss it. This cannot be so of an Abbess so far as I know. So is there another reason to close by an offering to kiss of her right hand?

The right hand is the hand of blessing. An Abbess does indeed give blessings and upon receiving such, one would kiss her hand. This is why we kiss the right hand of the bishop and the priest as well, for it is with the right hand that they bestow a blessing upon us.

The reasoning involving the consecration is only a corollary to the blessing, for it is the right hand which gives the blessing upon the gifts which invokes the coming of the Holy Spirit to change the bread and wine into the Body and Blood.

Fr David Moser

[Matthew]

The right hand is the hand of blessing. An Abbess does indeed give blessings and upon receiving such, one would kiss her hand. This is why we kiss the right hand of the bishop and the priest as well, for it is with the right hand that they bestow a blessing upon us.

The reasoning involving the consecration is only a corollary to the blessing, for it is the right hand which gives the blessing upon the gifts which invokes the coming of the Holy Spirit to change the bread and wine into the Body and Blood.

Fr David Moser

So should one kiss the hand of a deacon?

[Father David Moser]

So should one kiss the hand of a deacon?

Not by the above reasoning, for a deacon does not give a blessing.

OTOH, I have run into a custom among certain old calendar Greeks (I don't know how widespread this custom might be) that it is appropriate to kiss the hand of a deacon because he receives the Holy Mysteries in his hand and thus his hand has touched the Mysteries directly and thus it is itself blessed (but still would not bestow a blessing).

Fr David Moser

[Paul Cowan]

We have taken this on in our parish. When the priest gives back the censor, we kiss his hand and cense him twice. When the deacon gives back the censor, we kiss his hand and cense him once. Of course the bishop gets 3 censes and alot more kissing. OUr deacon dispenses the Holy Gifts as well.

We Orthodox are just a loving community.

[M.C. Steenberg]

I would echo what has been said by Fr David and others in the above.

A bishop bestows the blessing of Christ. A priest bestows this blessing in the bishop's stead - i.e., the 'bishop's blessing' of Christ (which is why it is inappropriate to ask for a priest's blessing when a bishop is present: as he bestows the blessing for the bishop in his absence, it makes little sense to ask him to do so when the bishop is present). Similarly, an abbess is charged to bestow the bishop's blessing as part of her abbatial charge.

Venerating that which blesses - whether it be an icon or a bishop's / priest's / abbess's hand - with a kiss is normal practice.

The idea that one kisses the hand of the bishop/priest, but not the deacon, because the priest's hand is in contact with the holy gifts, is a common misconception which we've discussed in this Community before. As Paul rightly notes, the deacon also touches the holy gifts with his bare hands.

In some places (quite commonly in Greece), deacon's hands are regularly kissed, inasmuch as they too touch the holy things. But this custom is not often found in Russian/Slavic practice (nor, indeed, everywhere in Greece).

INXC, Dcn Matthew

[Vasiliki D.]

I do not understand the reference about kissing an Abbess right hand.

I thought this type of closing was appropriate for priests and bishops because they preside at the Divine Liturgy and their right hand is very closely involved in the consecration, so we kiss it. This cannot be so of an Abbess so far as I know. So is there another reason to close by an offering to kiss of her right hand?

Side Comment: I just wanted to share one of the hundred fantastic stories that Father Damskinos from Mount Athos shared with us over the last fortnight. Father Damaskinos is closely tied to the Elder Porfyrios (he met him in 1969 at the Polyclinic) and was also with Elder Paisios for 20 years on the mountain (so he knows all the stories of the Elders better and more accurately than the books in print).

Father Damaskinos was telling us that during a particular litrugy, the Elder Paisios blessing the bread, with the sign of the cross, using his right hand ... and as he was doing the sign of the cross, the men who were inside the Liturgy observiing saw a bolt of "lightning" come straight out from his right hand and land on the bread being blessed.

How can anyone NOT kiss the right hand of ANY priest knowing that the Holy Spirit comes out of their hand to bless the gifts! These are truly amazing stories and wow its not just logical but for those who have been fortunate to see the invisible actions taking place provide us with a deeper insight into some of the things we are required to do (like kiss the hand of a priest) ...

I personally was dumstruck hearing that story when Father Damaskinos told us ...

[Patrick Lee]

I personally was dumstruck hearing that story when Father Damaskinos told us ...

And it makes one pause and contemplate all that is, but has not been seen or reported by the faithful this side of paradise.