Making time for prayer, and times of prayer

[Anya]

Dearest all,

How do you find time to pray and how much time do you find? I am having terrible time with this issue. I need a lot of time to be praying truly--sort of like a long warm-up--before the real prayer begins, and it could take a lot of time. In the meantime, I am distracted with thoughts that I am depriving myself and loved ones of my company. But then I know that to be who I am I need my time with God. Sometimes I calm myself down by saying that it's not important how much I pray, but how I pray, but I do need the warm-up, and that takes time. Sometimes I calm myself by saying that it's not important how long I pray at home before I go to bed as long as I keep saying the Jesus prayer during the day, but I do not feel that that's enough for me. So I am in this vicious circle of needing the time and and the same time feeling guilty for taking it. Does anyone of you who are married have 1-2 hours to dedicate to prayer every day? How do you do it? Perhaps it's just a period of my life when I need more intense prayer, and I should just take this time.

[Michael Stickles]

Since my wife is a morning person, she gets up at 5:00 to pray in our spare room (which is her regular prayer room); rarely is anyone else up before 6:15. I'm a night owl, so if I need extra time I just stay up as late as I need to.

Mike

[Nina]

Dearest all,

How do you find time to pray and how much time do you find? I am having terrible time with this issue. I need a lot of time to be praying truly--sort of like a long warm-up--before the real prayer begins, and it could take a lot of time.

I am not married but I have to say that my mom used to wake up at 2 or 3 AM because she loved the silence of the night to pray to God. I can't do it, but she did it and she was super busy working, family, and many other responsibilities. So do not loose heart it can be done, also as Mike says. As long as you have the desire and the urge.

Fathers recommend a spiritual reading (Bible, Fathers, lives of Saints) before you pray because they say that it inspires compunction of the heart and it just sends you immediately to your knees (ok the knee part are my words and I did not read them from Fathers). Also you can light a candle, turn off the lights and play some chant while you read. However just reading Fathers alone will work so well to bring you to compunction and often to tears. If you can't sleep one night, use it for prayer; if you are hiking/walking, pray; you are washing dishes, pray; riding the bus, pray; driving the car, play chants/services and try to pray along and so on. You get the idea. When my mom passed away and I could not sleep, I would lull myself to sleep by holding a komboskini in my hand and saying "Lord Jesus Christ Son of God have mercy on me the sinner" repeatedly until I would fall asleep. It brought a lot of peace.

I have read that it is actually very good to pray at midnight, and at three in the morning.

[Effie Ganatsios]

Anya, in your busy day, don't you have some time alone? I'm not working now, except for exam periods but when I was I usually prayed just before bedtime. I now enjoy the quiet of the early morning for my morning prayers while continuing the evening prayers as before.

The Jesus prayer can be said all during the day, while you are doing other things.

I found this on this site :

First Homily on Prayer St. Theophan the Recluse

Prayer itself is the piercing of our hearts by pious feelings towards God.....

I've been thinking about the above continuously since I first read it.

Effie

[Herman Blaydoe]

You don't "find" time, you make time. You prioritize your time and act accordingly. What is really important to you will generally get done, things of lesser importance, not so much. When prayer becomes a priority, it will get done. Right now you have higher priorities. Think about that.

You either take charge of your time, or you let time take charge of you. Plain and simple.

[Mary]

You don't "find" time, you make time.

I learned an important lesson about time a few days back. I was watching clips of an interview with a famous new conductor, who is also very young. Forgot his name. He's from Venezuela, and he came to the attention of the world when he entered a conducting contest. He's in his 20s. I think. Anyway, one of the judges was the conductor of the Philharmonic Orchestra, and he was totally blown away by this kid who hasn't completely mastered English yet, and he got the boy to conduct the Philharmonic in Sweden, I think. Maybe it was Switzerland. It's irrelevant. Since then, he's been all over the world. So the interviewer was asking him where his 'home' is now, and the boy said: The airplane.

Then the interviewer asked him how it is he finds time to do all the things he does and still practice his music and stuff. His answer, (which he had trouble coming up with, because it looked like he was searching deep into his heart to come up with just the right words to express his deep feeling): "When you love something with your whole heart, you have time."

That hit me where it hurt. A quick look at my daily expenditure of time, told me what it is that I truly love and prayer wasn't at the top.

In Christ,
mary.

[Moses Ibrahim]

Amma Syncletica said, "In the beginning there are a great many battles and a good deal of suffering for those who are advancing towards God and, afterwards, ineffable joy. It is like those who wish to light a fire. At first they are choked with smoke and cry, until they obtain what they seek. As it is written, "Our God is a consuming fire" (Hebrews 12:24); so we also must kindle the divine fire in ourselves through tears and hard work."

[Mary James]

Continue to do the Jesus prayer around the house and wherever you are since it's hard to find some time to pray. You said that you feel like this is not enough, try doing the trisagion prayers or say prayers that you know off your memory while doing your work.

Also, sometimes we do unnecessary work, see what things have to be done during the day and do them, those of which are not that important, leave them off for a bit and use that time for prayer.

May God bless you.

Maria

[Amy]

Also you can light a candle, turn off the lights and play some chant while you read. However just reading Fathers alone will work so well to brin If you can't sleep one night, use it for prayer; if you are hiking/walking, pray; you are washing dishes, pray; riding the bus, pray; driving the car, play chants/services and try to pray along and so on. You get the idea.

I could not agree with you more, dear Nina. This again, is something I've gained on my path to Orthodoxy through the Celts. And it gave me meaning to the verse 'to pray without ceasing' 1 Thess. 5:17 and to ask Christ to 'hold every thought captive' 2 Cor. 10:5 Our life is a continual prayer.

In Alexander Carmichael's Carmina Gadelica, he has collected the prayers, hymns, rituals of the peoples of the Scottish Highlands and Islands that had been handed down to them for generation upon generation. In this volume, very frequently one will find prayers to the Holy Trinity upon rising from bed, upon tending the fire, upon milking the cow, upon their fields as they sow and harvest ...in other words, prayers upon all they do in the day from the time they rise to the time they sleep. There was not a portion of life left out of prayer.

And so, Anya, while I also read prayers from The Hours of Prayer as part of an early morning routine, I also take occasions to pray throughout the day over my 'mundane' tasks. I will pray for you - that your prayer life may flow throughout your day and that an unhealthy guilt will not invade you.

Blessings

[Father David Moser]

I am not married but I have to say that my mom used to wake up at 2 or 3 AM because she loved the silence of the night to pray to God. ...
I have read that it is actually very good to pray at midnight, and at three in the morning.

I read an article recently about the changes in sleep patterns over the years and across the oceans. In North America now it is considered normal and healthy to go to bed at night and sleep 8 hours straight through, however, in other cultures and in other times it was much more common to sleep early for a few hours, then awaken in the middle of the night and do "quiet work" and then go to sleep again in the morning for a few more hours before rising to do the work of the day.

When I visited Holy Trinity Monastery for the first time, I was rather shocked that after breakfast all the monks would go to their rooms to "rest" for a couple of hours and the majority of the work would be done in the afternoon. I thought that they were lazy - until the next day when, having gone to sleep at about 11 or 12, everyone was awakened at 3am to go to the Church for midnight service, morning prayers, matins, hours and Liturgy after which we had breakfast. Then I understood the need for a little rest after such labor at prayer.

Fr David Moser

[Rdr Andreas Moran]

A woman visited St Seraphim (Sarovsky).
'Do you pray, my joy?', he asked.
'Oh, after a fashion, Father, but what kind of prayer is it! I am a sinner! Often there is really no time', she replied.
'Never mind', said Batushka. 'I just wanted to tell you not to worry about that. When you have time, don't be idle, but keep the whole rule and pray. But if you haven't time, my joy, say the small rule in the morning, at midday and at night too even while at work.
. . .

'Only don't fail somehow or other to make prostrations to the Saviour and the Mother of God. Make them at all costs.'

St Seraphim's small rule, for those with no time, is as follows:
"Let every Christian on rising from sleep, stand before the Icons and read the Lord's prayer 'Our Father' three times in honour of the Most Holy Trinity, then the song to the Mother of God 'Hail Mother of God and Virgin' also three times, and finally the Creed 'I believe in one God . . . ' once.
"The above prayers", explained Father Seraphim, "are the foundation of Christianity . . . By keeping this simple rule", said Father, "it is possible to reach a measure of Christian perfection and divine love."

See 'St Seraphim of Sarov A Spiritual Biography' by Archimandrite Lazarus Moore, pp 229, and 227-228.

When I have early morning lectures, I say this small rule in the car on my way to work. In that 10 minutes' journey, I can say this small rule, into which I put psalm 50, and also pray for my living and departed people. From the car park to my office I say the Jesus Prayer. Then, before each class, I pray: 'Lord Jesus Christ: bless the work that I do that it may be pleasing to Thee and beneficial to my students. Amen'. It must be possible for each of us, according to our routines and the work in which God has placed us, to fit in such prayers. No one could be more negligent than I but even this that I do does, as Elder Sophrony puts it (though suggesting a longer prayer), stamp the day with its effect.

[Effie Ganatsios]

Habits can be formed that will help each of us personally.

One habit I have cultivated the last couple of years is listening to the liturgy each morning on the radio followed by a short lecture on one of the saints being celebrated that day. I find that this somehow points my whole day in the right direction. Going to church, of course, and celebrating the liturgy there is even better but this is not always practical.


We can all find various ways of organizing our day. First make a list of priorities. First priority: prayer.

The lives of nuns are organized so intelligently. There is a certain time allocated each day for prayer, for physical work, for reading,
for recreation, etc. If they are in the middle of something when the bell or signal is struck telling them that the time for this particular occupation is over, they quickly finish whatever they are doing and start the next phase of the day.

Time in a nun's life is not wasted - God's time.

I should add that wasting time is a huge problem with me. That's why I research it so much. I even have a large sign in my office that says STOP ORGANIZING, GET UP AND OUT OF YOUR CHAIR AND START WORKING! (Polite version).

[Effie Ganatsios]

Anya, rereading your original message I remembered something that Mother Gavrilia said and found it in her book :

Question : Still, everyday life, work, marriage, children, cares, worries, all these leave you no time for anything else. You want to, but you don't have the time...

Mother G : You don't need time. Because as I have told you, Prayer is a state of the soul. As we read in the Way of a Pilgrim, when you wash the dishes, keep saying "Lord, have mercy upon me".. Lord, have mercy upon me"... Whatever we do in a day, we can do it while keeping in our mind and in our heart the Notion of God, a constant awareness of the Existence of God, as if listening to a background music.... Nothing is impossible."

I also remember reading that she always set aside a part of her day after returning from the morning liturgy for time alone with God. This was when she was living in a small apartment in Athens and when her afternoons were spent receiving visitors who had heard about her and wanted advice. Unfortunately I couldn't find the text I wanted so that I could post it for you.

Effie

[Rdr Andreas Moran]

I should add that wasting time is a huge problem with me.

Oh, and me too, Effie! Time is one of the gifts God created for us, a much undervalued and neglected gift. One is tempted to focus on more obvious sins but wasting time (and misusing it) is, to my mind, a graver sin that might at first be thought.

[Victor Mihailoff]

Dearest all,

How do you find time to pray and how much time do you find? I am having terrible time with this issue. I need a lot of time to be praying truly--sort of like a long warm-up--before the real prayer begins, and it could take a lot of time. In the meantime, I am distracted with thoughts that I am depriving myself and loved ones of my company. But then I know that to be who I am I need my time with God. Sometimes I calm myself down by saying that it's not important how much I pray, but how I pray, but I do need the warm-up, and that takes time. Sometimes I calm myself by saying that it's not important how long I pray at home before I go to bed as long as I keep saying the Jesus prayer during the day, but I do not feel that that's enough for me. So I am in this vicious circle of needing the time and and the same time feeling guilty for taking it. Does anyone of you who are married have 1-2 hours to dedicate to prayer every day? How do you do it? Perhaps it's just a period of my life when I need more intense prayer, and I should just take this time.

Hello Anya, God bless your desire to pray.

I say first of all, pray to have time to pray. I and many other people, including priests, find that Blessed Xenia of Petersburg is very fast at answering prayers for finding something. It can be a lost item, a passage in an Orthodox book you need to help someone, an answer to a question or problem, the need to find time to pray.

She answers very fast when you've been praying to her often or for long but sometimes she answers quickly anyway. I had this deacon of the 7th Day Adventist Church visiting my neighbourhood from time to time. I wanted to find written documentation to back up the practice of Sunday worship as his faith worships on the old sabbath day, Saturday. I sat in my room and asked Blessed Xenia to find something in print to show him next visit. Immediately I got the urge to walk over to my bookcase full of Orthodox books. My hand reached for a book I had not opened in years. I randomly opened it to any page. The page explained why we worship on Sundays. The same exact thing happened with two more books. One minute after I asked Blessed Xenia for help, I had three references to offer the deacon. It did not help, he still tried to convert me to his faith & I tried to do the same.

I have other stories about prayers answered for me by Blessed Xenia, one of which was a real undoubtable miracle of materialization of the lost item right before my eyes but that's for another time. Remember that we must give what is due to God first and all else will come to us. If you devote time to prayer, the remaining time you have will be used more efficiently. I mean like say you have to study for some course. Normally you may study say three hours on five nights per week. You need to repeat somethings you read a few times to commit them to memory. Now after you start giving an hour a day to prayer or an hour more than before per day to prayer, you find that the routine study is completed in less time and you remember more of what you studied with less repetitions of the reading. The same applies to work and other tasks.

A Christian builder, not Orthodox but I won't name his well known faith here so as not to upset anyone, had completed building a new church building in an Orthodox convent more than a decade ago in Australia. When the nuns and the local parishioners were holding their first liturgy in the new church the builder attended for some reason. In that monastic church the plate/s were not passed around but instead people placed $5 notes or greater sums into a plate after kissing the cross.

The builder placed a $4,000 cheque/check in the plate. The nuns were astonished and tried to return the check/cheque to him asking why did he do this. He replied that whenever he is building, things never work to plan. He will order exactly what his calculations tell him should be ordered and then he always runs short of bricks, wood, plasterboard, electrical conduits, paint etc. etc. Also some men always get injured and need medical treatment and time off to recover. The deadline is always running on overtime and he makes less money than anticipated. Some things are built wrong from the start and must be re-built.

He said that when he built this, his first church, absolutely nothing went wrong. No materials ran out early, no one was injured , nothing needed to be re-built and he saved thousands of dollars that were normally never saved. He said none of his men argued as they always did. Everyone showed up for work every day and he felt a spiritual peace and blessedness that he never felt before. He implored the nuns to let him thank God in this way.

Do you get my drift? If you give your time to God He will make more time for you. Got wants you near Him. He wont let harm come to you when you reach out to Him in prayer. I cannot find the words I'm seeking now in the Bible and I really have no more time to do so (I hope that doesn't sound hypocritical) but there are words in the N.T. to the effect that if you do your duty to God first, everything else you need will follow from that. But if you aim to be busy with other duties first, you will never find enough time for God, because you showed to yourself your own lack of faith in the promises of the Word of God. Read the N.T, every day. Just a page a day to start.

I really have no more time. Pray to Blessed Xenia to find time and ways to pray every day. God bless you and yours! Victor.

[Rdr Andreas Moran]

I looked at the 'New Posts' page and saw the Google advertisement panel. I clicked on the one that said the world was doomed this year according to a book called, '2008 God's Final Witness'. The urbane-looking Mr Weinland cuts an unlikely prophet of doom but it seems God appointed him in 1997 as a prophet to the religions of Abraham: Christianity, Islam, and Judaism. What God did not reveal to the Apostle John on Patmos He has now revealed to Mr Weinland. It seems we really must redouble our prayer effort. (At least I can worry less now about my pension arrangements.)

[Nina]

I read an article recently about the changes in sleep patterns over the years and across the oceans. In North America now it is considered normal and healthy to go to bed at night and sleep 8 hours straight through, however, in other cultures and in other times it was much more common to sleep early for a few hours, then awaken in the middle of the night and do "quiet work" and then go to sleep again in the morning for a few more hours before rising to do the work of the day.

When I visited Holy Trinity Monastery for the first time, I was rather shocked that after breakfast all the monks would go to their rooms to "rest" for a couple of hours and the majority of the work would be done in the afternoon. I thought that they were lazy - until the next day when, having gone to sleep at about 11 or 12, everyone was awakened at 3am to go to the Church for midnight service, morning prayers, matins, hours and Liturgy after which we had breakfast. Then I understood the need for a little rest after such labor at prayer.

Fr David Moser

My mother went to bed around 9PM (if there were not guests for long dinners). She woke up very early (2-3 AM) so she had all the housework and the meals of the day done and at 5AM she and my father started their job (private business which was near by -therefore they did not have to spend time commuting). But they could not close the place of work and come home and take rest and naps. When there were people over, or us all they would come for lunch. Therefore she had some advantages about her time: no commuting, and she was working with her husband.

She loved praying during the early hours as she often told me it is delightful to pray when the world around is asleep and quiet; and she also loved praying and looking at the starry sky on the east-side, which was one of her favorite spot at home.

Also during the hours when she was home, our home was always full with neighbors, friends, cousins, family, strangers and she made all feel so special and dedicated so much time to others also. I do not know how she did all of the things she did (she found time for everything from handiwork and gardening to attending church services - by the way she was first at church before the church wold even open and we teased that she should carry the keys of the church). However honestly I can not do anything like that! From what I know females in her family in the past were like my mother. Oh by the way she and my dad created a little shelter for homeless cats and dogs near their place of work and would also spend time visiting them and feeding and playing with them. I can go on. It makes me feel like I am doing zero things with my time, but on the other hand when I need motivation I know that many things are possible and I can make time work for me.

[Effie Ganatsios]

Anya, a couple of weeks ago I joined the choir of our organization Children's Shelter - God help us all because my voice is not 100% but I was told "whose is?"..... I was given a small folder of songs and poems. Last night I was putting it in order and found this : (I translated it into English)

I woke early one morning
and hurried to start my day.
I had so much to do
that I didn't have time to pray.

I tried to draw near to God
I tried all the keys to heaven's door................
A gentle admonishment from God was heard
"My child, why didn't you knock on My door?"

I woke early this morning
and paused, before starting my day;
I had so much to do
that I had to find time to pray.

It's simple and sweet, don't you think?

Effie

[Anya]

What a sweet song, Effie! I have heard something similar--a story about a priest. To the bewilderment of people around him, the priest used to pray a lot more hours than usual on those days when his schedule was very busy.

*

A general theme is formed in your responses--waste of time. Some time ago, I was watching an interview with Antonio Banderas, who has quite a long marriage. He was asked how he does it, and his response was that he loves his wife, and that he gives her the gift of time. I did not think that Entertainment Tonight could be such an educational show, but so it was that night.

As far as priorities go. I do not think that prayer is priority number 1. It does not make sense for someone to get up early in the morning in order to pray for 2 hours, and then to be cranky to everyone around them.

Also, with prayer, sometimes it's a bit tricky--one cannot force God's presence, and occasionally the enemy really pulls his tricks so that the more one tries, the further away one becomes from God. I was reading about this from Gerontius Porfirius, and in my experience, that's quite right.

Thank you everyone for letting me know your thoughts and how you face this challenge.

[Paul Cowan]

Whether you "feel" like it or you not or whether you "Feel" like your prayers are bouncing off the ceiling back to you or you just don't "feel" like it right now, today or later. Don't stop. God sees the intent of your heart. He knows you are trying. So try. Don't give in. Run the race before you even if it is just a 2 minute sprint. We can all stop for 45 seconds before heading out the door in the morning and say the Lord's Prayer. More if we are able.
Paul